


To Walk a Mile

by Lykeans



Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Halo Fusion, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Interspecies Romance, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-07-21 22:20:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 60,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7407370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lykeans/pseuds/Lykeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Admittedly, There are times I hoped one would see me as I am and not some monster. I pray, to a God I don't believe, for mother to speak to me as she once did years ago. My brothers are gone, off to war, unknown when they will return. If they return. My entire life is filled of falsified truths, people who have hated me since I've been born, and strangers who've only wanted political gain. I have grown tired of all of it! </p><p>So... I left. I met someone unlike I, whom I came to admire. To relate. To understand. </p><p>To love...<br/>Only, we weren't the same species.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm their prisoner...

**Author's Note:**

> This story is mostly first person point of view, with a few parts that are third person point of view as "flashbacks". During my time of reading fan-fictions, there's not many writers willing to try/do this sort of thing. Me, personally, is new and an enjoyable challenge. My updates currently are a bit slow right now, so please bare in mind there won't always be an immediate follow up. But I won't take a year for a new chapter to come up, that's counter productive...
> 
> And for those that are wondering; yes, there will be sex later on. Perverts. Honestly, where's your sense of romance?!
> 
> Anyway--ENJOY!

He didn't know how he got here.

No, that's not right. He knows how he got here, he just didn't know it would be this way. He was alone, confused, a bit frightened and dreading his fate. He was behind enemy lines on one of their planets, chained to the wall with a thick collar around his neck. His hosts weren't pleasant either.

These aliens had been asking him questions in the common tongue, a language he himself barely took the time to learn. He tried to communicate with them in his native tongue only in turn receive stares and more questions. He'd admit his way with the common tongue was elementary if not perfect. They even tried holographic pictures and literature to try and communicate with him, but he didn't understand the hieroglyphics the aliens showed him and confused him more with the sequences of pictures. So they left him alone with their large guards protecting the only door way in and out of the room.

The guards would say nothing, just stand there in their full body armor with guns in hand. Sometimes one would leave for a while and then come back just to continue guarding the door. He also noticed one of the guards was a female by the way her figure suggested more around the waist and smaller form then that of her male counterpart. It was quite a surprise in finding that out.

Another thing to point out was the food. It was weird and disgusting slobs of grey goop on a tray. He didn't know what was in it but knew it wasn't poisoned. They would always send one alien in with a tray of stuff they called food and have them take a bite out of it before passing it to him. It was a nice gesture, insuring he had something to look forward to without fear of eating out of the enemy's hand. Especially where communication was extremely limited.

Rubbing his arms up and down his arms always reminds him how naked he was. They had stripped him of all his weapons, clothes, and other accessories he had carried on his person. It's embarrassing really, to be in the nude in front of strangers. It was also silly, because the aliens clearly didn't care if he was naked or not. After the crash landing, he woke up with the large aliens pointing guns to his face and the smaller ones putting their tiny hands all over him, in removing his belongings and weapons. After they threw him in the cell and placed the collar on, they tended to his wounds and started with the questions.

He had no sense of time here, whatever _here_ was. He guessed after a long time that he has been here for about a week, maybe longer by every time the aliens would enter his cell to feed him or ask questions. And don't get him started on the facilities when it came to using the bathroom. Unfortunately they gave him a room where the toilet and bed was removed and gave him a bucket to do _it_ in. Right now the bucket was halfway full with feces and sitting closest to the door far away from him. This way if the guards can no longer stand the scent they will get one of their alien buddies to grab and empty the bucket.

It's kind of funny seeing the aliens' reaction when they come in to see the bucket in the doorway.

Well, while he's stuck here, there is only a limited amount of entertainment to be had. Until the aliens either decide to kill him or find a way to communicate. He wasn't negligent about the war, he knew he was in this for the long run and not cooperating with the enemy will lower his chances of survival in this matter.

This is all this was now; survival.

With only small thoughts and tiny instances where he would just contemplate whether or not he will see his family again. If they were dead, or worried he went missing. If they would risk a rescue team to come get him beyond enemy lines. If they even knew where he was. The thoughts would become too depressing and would soon move his mind to happier times. His first hunt with his father. Teasing and laughing with his older brothers when he was just a kid. His mind anywhere, just not _here_. Then he would remember why he got in this situation and ended up back in a slow cycle of mental warfare.

How does a teen end up in these kind of situations?

The answer is 'they don't'.

He should've listened to his grandfather and stayed home.

The door opens and a small alien -female, dressed in blue enters his cell and catches his attention. Her face scrunches at the bucket and was careful not to knock it over. The moment her eyes lands on him, she squeaks and quickly covers her eyes. She shouts something in the common tongue and one of the guards answers, the large male guard shrugs his shoulders. The small female turns around and yells at him, walking out of the room. The large male flinches and holds his hand up gesturing something. She yells even more and points to him, forcing the large male guard to leave without a word.

Now he was really confused.

After a while the same small female in blue walks back in the cell with a folded green fabric in her hands, her eyes were held away from his body. As she gotten closer, she holds out the fabric to him. 

Oh, she was sensitive of his nudity. That's a first.

He takes the fabric and unfolds it, noticing it was a large decorative fabric. He wraps the thing around his shoulders, covering his entire body, and looks at the shy female, " _Thank you_." One of the few words he knew in the common tongue.

The female turns back to him, looks him up and down. She nods, accepting he was no longer naked and replied, "Your Welcome." Not in the common tongue, but in his native tongue. She gives him slight bow and continues to speak in his native tongue, "My name is Muriel. What is your name?"

He was stunned almost in silence. An alien knew how to speak his language, and had addressed him properly as such. He didn't know whether to be happy to have someone finally to talk to, or worried they may ask him questions he didn't want to answer. But the idea of an actual conversation instead a guessing game with the alien species had him curious. His grandfather had always told him he had a strange weakness for curiosities. This being no different.

So, in his native tongue he replies the customary greeting his people always uses when meeting new people:

"My name is J'kar Vadam, son of Nul Vadamee, and second heir to the House of Vadam."


	2. I want to keep talking...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to talk to someone who is willing to just listen, even though you have many problems you want to get off your shoulders by just rambling.

She just smiles...It was kind of creepy, so I smiled in kind.

She then sits down on the ground and leans against the wall right of me. She crosses her legs over one another and gestures to the ground. "Why don't you sit with me?"

I sit on the ground across from the female, looking at her. It's weird gazing at their species; fur on top of their heads, smooth hide everywhere else, and colorful eyes with a face displaying much emotion. Right now I can tell she's excited by just being in my presence and her musk gives off this sweet scent I can almost taste on my tongue. Almost as if she rolled in a bed of scented flora and milk. An odd mixture but I come to like its the uniqueness.

"What would you like to talk about?" She asks gently, her voice a bit lower than what I had expected. The humans were always loud, whether it was talking or simply walking. But this one was careful in her movements, quiet in her steps and slow in her speech.

I didn't know what I wanted to talk about. Was this an open invitation, or a trap to lure me in false sense of security? So I take my time coming up with ideas, common things we both know and may relate to without conflict. It's hard to start a conversation with no common ground, so I think of questions. Questions that's been on my mind since I first heard of the humans and curiosities that never went away. Then I remembered something, "What do your kind call us when addressing my species?"

"Elites." She answers simply, seeming curious herself.

But that wasn't what I meant. "As an insult."

"Oh, uh," She smiles but still had that nervous look in her eyes. "There are many names really..." I wait for her to continue, wondering if she is willing to answer the question. She bites her finger and takes a slow breath. "Do you want to know them?"

"Is that not what I ask?" It must be really insulting if she was this hesitant.

"Well there is split-chin, split-jaw, or split-lip." She emphasizes with her finger, leading it down her from her lips to her chin. "The most common one most humans use. There's _squid_ head, an idiotic comparison to an aquatic animal humans know." She moves her eyes in a full circular motion as her shoulders gives off a slight shrug. "Hinge-head, _alligator_ , and my personal favorite _dino_." She smiles at the last one, clearly her favorite as her eyes closes for a while in thought.

I know of the first few, since the Kig-Yar had not once let up on making fun of my species' mandibles. Leaving that insult no originality. I'm familiar with a few aquatic animals back on Sanghelios with multiple limbs and mouths like our own, so I have some idea of what she meant by _squid_. Hinge-head was rare to hear, but mostly heard by the Jiralhanae. The other two I'm not familiar with and the last one even more so. "What's a _aligatore_?"

She looks up to the roof and then to the left, her eyes avoiding mine. "An _alligator_?" Her brows knit together, "They're kind of...like your species but...not?" She seem to be debating herself, the way her eyes narrow and lips twist and turn. She motions with her hands, stretching them far apart. "Really big reptilian ambush predators that usually hunts in rivers and any deep murky freshwater. They have short four limbs and walks on all four with five claws on each." She rolls onto the floor on her stomach and stretches her limbs in a weird position. "They walk kind of like this." She crawls on the floor, her chest not once picking off the ground as she awkwardly move from one side of the room to the other. "They also have these long tails and a big jaw that can crush bone with one bite." She sits up on her knees and holds out both her arms up to her face, moving them both open and close to emphasize a giant mouth.

In one bite!? What kind of creature can break bone in one bite? Given a Brute can snap a bone with one hand, and a few species I know can eat bone without having digestive problems. Yet to break bone...in one bite...monstrous! I can't think of a creature on my home world that can do such a thing. It's a wonder how these humans can survive on a planet where these beasts exist. 

The female continues her explanation of the creature, giving me a better idea of how they look like. "A single row of sharp teeth. Lots of scales and super fast in water. They even have this move call the death roll." She crawls up to me and grabs my left arm without warning. "An example, say like they caught your arm with their teeth and locked." Her fingernails gently digs into my hide like teeth and I am envisioning a large creature, almost as big as myself, biting into my flesh. It's quite frightening. "Next, they would drag you back into the water as far as they can and roll." While still holding onto my arm, she gets on the floor and rolls around once and I realize the true horror of being caught by one of these creatures. "And keep rolling so either your arm is ripped off, or you had drown to death by the end." She releases my arm and sits next to me.

This was...horrifying, and the humans compare us to these creatures that can kill them in a matter of moments, maybe less then that if they were unlucky. In a way, it's more of a compliment than an insult. Any warrior would be proud when identified as a true force of nature to be feared, and feared is what this female was not. The entire time she talked about these creatures, she had this smile on her face and eyes open in admiration. "You admire these creatures? These _alligtors_?" 

" _Oh_ , yes!" Her smile grows, and I start to see her teeth. "Large alpha predators that hadn't changed in over millions over years. So cute and adorable." Cute? "They're a bit timid as well. They don't hunt humans because they don't recognize us in their diets, so when we get close they just walk away."

Ah, now I see. These creatures are only to be feared when provoked and engaged in combat. Otherwise, they do nothing and turn away when they have no interest in what is not food. Lazy creatures. Now I can see why being called this _alligator_ is insulting. 

Now my interest has been turned to the other supposedly insulting name. "What is a _dino_?" Hopefully not another lazy creature.

" _Dino_ is a shorter version for _Dinosaur_." I still don't understand. " _Dinosaurs_ are these huge pre-historic giant reptiles that roamed the Earth for more than millions years ago. So big they tower over houses, the largest of them all was about 30 feet tall. They come in all different shapes and sizes, from ones that can stand on your hand to the ones that can stomp on you without even trying." Interesting, these creatures seem to have different variations of themselves.

"What _diner-soar_ relates to my kind?"

She hums, looking at me head to hoof and gives me what I believe is a smirk. "A _velociraptor_ , or _raptor_ for short."

"Do explain."

"Imagine another Sangheili." Alright. "Now imagine them with a long tail." Weird...Yes, I can see it. "Long snout and no mandibles, just a solid jaw like mine. Or a Kig-Yar." I can see that, in a way. I have seen a creature back home with a head with long snout and solid jaw, but not one with the same body structure. So thinking of another brother with a Kig-Yar head and long tail is a bit awkward. "They have a single row of sharp curved teeth and closed mouths, lips." What? Lips? "Three long claws on each hand." How do they grab things? "And the most iconic is their feet." Thier feet? "Two toes like yours, but they have this third one they don't walk on but use to kill prey. A giant curved claw, shaped into a hook made of pure bone. Twice as long and thicker than your claws." By the rings!

I try my best to imagine again this _raptor_. Another one of my kind with a Kig-Yar's head of human lips, long thick tail, three claws on each hand, and hooves like mine but with a third appendage of a monstrosity of a claw hanging off the side of the leg. How do they even walk? If they can't walk how do they run? What's the point of the large claws on the hooves? Now, I'm even more confused. My imagination of the description must be off on proportions.

Yet no matter how much I think, I can't see why being called a _dino_ is insulting. "How is this an insult?"

She opens her mouth and closes it in thought. She looks off to the side an then back to me. Was she thinking of a lie? Or was there really no insulting meaning to being called a _dino_? She tilts her head to the side, "Well, they are extinct. It is believed that the dinosaurs were not smart and didn't have the instinct to avoid danger. But that is just a theory from some random scientist lead to believe."

Ah--It's not laziness, but stupidity and negligence. These humans have creative ways in terms of insult. At least this settles a few questions in my mind. Yet, I have an opportunity. An opportunity to ask anything I want and carry on a conversation. Who knows when the next time I'll have this chance. I may never have a chance like this again!

I look at her, gazing at her form and the first thing that comes to mind is how humans reproduce. I can't ask her that, it would be rude of me and she might take it as offensive or a flirt. Forerunners forbid she thinks I will be coming onto her. So coming up with another question didn't take long, for I have a lot of things on my mind that I want some answers to. "Why are you here?"

" _Huh_?" She seem to be caught off guard.

"Why are you here?" I was about to emphasize when I didn't get an immediate reply, but she looks me in the eyes and answers the unexpected.

"I wanted to see if my Sangheili tongue was... _uh_ , acceptable." She brushes her long fur behind an ear. Her face turns a bit red in the cheeks. I don't understand what this gesture means, but given by the way she kept fiddling she was either embarrassed or anxious. "You see, I never had anyone to test out my skill on the language. There are a few scientists here that can read and write little of the Sangheili language, barely any human attempt to speak it. I was curious and wanted to learn something new...and..." Her face is red, completely. I never seen so much red.

Oh...This is interesting. "You're...blushing."

She covers her face with her hands, making a choking sound. "I'm so embarrassed." So I was right earlier. "I thought the moment I introduced myself I thought I messed up the sentence arrangement or the pronunciation. Everyday I practiced in the mirror correcting my facial features and timing the words in what I say. I even changed the pitch in my voice so I don't sound like I'm choking." So that's why she speaks so low. Now I understand. "I'm literally the only person that knew the language the UNSC could get in less than a week."

"So you're here to interrogate me?"

" _Huh_?" She puts her hands down and stares at me with a noticeable expression. Something akin to curiosity, well acknowledgement and slight of confusion. "You're a child."

That hurts my pride. I may be young but I can dual wield two swords with ease and hold my own in hand to hand combat. Hearing her say that, just reminds me the reason why I left home in the first place. "Yes, I'm young but aren't you humans going to ask me about my family? My part in the war."

"Only if you want talk about it." I grow more confuse. She seems to understand my confusion and explains, "We don't torture minors. Especially when they don't understand the common tongue." Torture? Well that's a relief. "And it's quite clear you didn't participate in the war with the garments you had on." That's true. When I had left I had only my robes, the sandals on my hooves, and two plasma swords at the hip. The guns were left in the back of ship, along with one of my brother's old armor. Thel was a bit shorter at my age, so I stole his. 

"Why am I here then?" I really wanted to know my fate. If they didn't torture minors, then what do they have in mind for me?

"Your the only Sangheili child anyone has seen up close. We just want to study your anatomy and see what we can learn from your behavior. So, observation really. We won't force you to do anything. We just need your full cooperation and we'll start on the basics." She makes it sound so simple. I know there was something else she wasn't telling me, wondering if she would keep it a secret. However, she surprises me again when she leans closer to my ear bud and whispers, "They may not believe in torture but they will leave you in here to rot." She leans away and had this smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Why are you telling me this? Aren't we enemies?" Under certain circumstances I may see why she may be this nice to me, but this is no such circumstance.

She shakes her head with a gentle smile. "I see no enemy when they've become my friend." She states proudly, her head held high and eyes having that similar gleam I see whenever one of the warriors stood before their superiors.

Those words...is something to think on. I never heard of anything like that before. Is it the result of the human's clan, their religion, or is every human like this? Even more questions I want answers to, and damn it all if I can't get any rest after this. "Friend?"

"We're not fighting, right?"

"No."

"We're not arguing."

"Correct."

"We were just having a friendly conversation from one to another a few moments ago. Doesn't that makes us friends?"

This female is scary. As much as she is right, I don't trust her. She could still lead me into a trap. But what trap is there if they just want to know about my body. "Are human's foolishly that trustworthy or are you just that dim?" Wait, why would humans want to know about my body?

"You don't have to trust me, just have faith and let me know if you're uncomfortable doing certain activities."

What is this female? Is she even human? Demon? Jiralhanae? Not even mother is this nice, and she's the nicest person I know. I don't know what to do. All I could do now is go in defeat, go along with what they have planned for me. If my training had ever taught me anything, it is that everything comes down to the point of survival. I must live if I want to return home. I must do what I can to ensure my chances. So if it means to answer this crazy female's questions, then I will. But what if they get tired of me and change their mind? If I am stuck here for the rest of my life, then what would become of my family -my clan.

"Look," the female grabs my left hand and holds it in her two smaller ones, "I know your scared and uneasy, but my job is to make sure you're safe and comfortable. I will do whatever in my power to make sure nothing bad happens to you. You see those _Spartans_ outside." I look over her head and knew she was talking about guards at my cell door. "Their job is to ensure your safety, even if it means to fight other humans they meant to protect."

Scared? Was I really scared? I am the only one of my species on an alien planet, chained to the wall of this cell, with only this female before me to keep me company. I guess I am a bit scared. Wouldn't father be proud that his youngest knew fear? He would have me bear the mark of shame before I admit I knew fear.

The female again surprises me. She reaches behind my neck and undid the chain, but leaves the collar on. I can feel a large weight fall off my shoulders, no longer feeling bound or trapped. I look at her and notice her eyes were the color of Sangheili's blood with a hint of brown on the inner edges. This female is honest and true.

I can trust her.

"Let us eat something." She holds out her hand upside down. An odd gesture of the hand I ever seen. "None of that crap they call food, but real meat." Who could argue with that? I grab her hand and she smiles at me.

She walks toward the door, leading me behind her with our hands clasped. She talks in the common tongue and the door opens. The guards watched us walk out of the cell, the male's visor lined up with our hands. It feels great to be out of the small room. Who knew the taste of freedom can be bitter-sweet and far more rewarding when locked away for a certain amount of time.

"Just stay close to me. Not every human is comfortable around you as I am. And there's also a few that wouldn't mind taking personal revenge because of what Thel 'Vadamee had done." She continues to lead me down the corridors, the walls changing slightly in form with different colors tagging the walls and signs at every crossroad. The guards following us, guarding the rear.

Revenge? What has my brother done to anger the humans? Granted we're at war, but I never understood the point of it. Were they against our beliefs and rather remain singled out from the rest of the universe than join our cause? Did they have something we need and wouldn't give it back? An assassination of leaders? So many questions left unanswered only places more doubt on my mind. I never appreciated how the Hierarchs kept the rest of Sanghelios in the dark as my brothers would give their lives in this war. No one back home knew how this war came to be, but the warriors are foolish enough to progress with the Prophets anyway.

This entire war is foolish, and no one believes me.

" _Okay_ , this is it." Her voice snaps me to attention. This entire time I realize I had kept my head down in thought and not once paid attention of where we're going. We're in font of a large doorway, endless amounts of noise carried past beyond the door. "Just stay close to me. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask." She seems nervous herself, gripping my hand a little tighter. She faces forward and lead me through the sliding doors.

In the large room were a sea of humans. All of them different in color and size but wore the same kind of green uniform. The noise died down almost instantly the moment they saw me. Eyes of various colors gaze upon my form, stripping me away with their attention. I never felt so alone, so out of place until now. I want to turn back, I want to hide from their stares.

I felt her hand squeeze mine.

I look down at her, staring in her blood colored eyes. Looking at her relaxes me. I release a breath I hadn't known I held, and nod. She seems to read my mind and smiles, leading me once more down the row of humans. Their eyes kept on me. Their eyes ranging from curiosity and confusion, to distaste and fear. I wonder if any other being in the universe ever received this kind of attention. An endless sea of strangers quiet, and eyes that judge you without hesitation. I want it to stop.

"I don't like them staring."

She looks again back at me and I feel a little more relax, still a bit unsettled. She looks around and had this expression that I couldn't quite point out, but she seem a little upset or angry. She speaks to the sea of eyes in the common tongue, her voice harsh and stern. It was then at that moment, the eyes had vanish and it was just me and the female human. What did she say to make them turn around?

"Humans are curious creatures, so there will be lots of stares." It's peculiar how this female just addressed her race as an entire different race. Almost as she sees them how I do, from the outside in. "There's lots of meat here, but they're all cooked. I can get you something raw if you like."

I look down and saw the table full of food with glass shielding the produce. Lots of vegetation filled half of the table as the meat taken a third of the table. The rest was unknown to me; large clear bags filled of brown bricks and a few other foods caring a scent of milk and earth. I was curious and wanted to try all the food, but I don't know if I will like them or if the food wouldn't agree with my stomach. So I stuck with what I was familiar with, "I would like some raw meat."

I never understood why humans ate their meat cooked. I was told by the elders it was because of their frail bodies that they can't handle raw meat as we do and would become sickly if they tried. On the other hand, the priestesses told me humans had weak souls and hearts, and can never eat anything blessed of Gods. I guess that's another question I could ask the female.

We seated in the farthest spot in the room, a booth with large tall thin seats. The female was quite courteous when it came to my being. I don't think I would fit in those small seats the other humans sat in. My joints would most likely bash into the table and my back bend uncomfortably, forcing me to lean far on the table. The tables were too a bit small, my long arms able to reach the other side without try. Humans are smaller than my kind by nature. I look across from me to the _Spurtans -_ the guards, and understood why they had larger seats.

The guards were taller me, their frames wider than the smaller humans. Even without the armor, I could guess they would have trouble sitting in the small seats as well. It's calming to know there are others here that have problems when dealing with size.

"Here you go." When had the female left? "It's a bit frozen in the middle, so expect a little cold." She hands me a large tray filled with shredded raw meat, blood pooling on the bottom. "I don't know if Sangheili uses _forks_ , but I got you one just in case." She hands me a four fingered metal tool. I take the instrument and look at the thing. It was similar in what the San 'Shyuum used to eat with, but theirs had three fingers instead of four.

I look at the female's plate and notice she doesn't have any meat on her plate. Instead, there was a pile of green and purple leaves, and two round objects of orange and red. A tall cylinder bowl next to her plate filled with a sweet scented water. It caught my attention when she ripped open a small package with her teeth and dumped a pile of white substance on the leaves. The scent salty and tangy.

It looks putrid.

I go back to my tray and start to eat my food, the meat was a bit cold but the flavor was heavenly. I never tasted flesh so sweet and salty at the same time. The shredded pieces slide down my mouth, the blood makes the trip easier and more delightful. I lick my mandibles in delight, the sweet taste urges me to eat more. And so I did, taking another bite of whatever this animal formally was, handed to me on a metal tray. I was trying to place the different kinds of flavor that tingle my senses and taken over my mind. I want more. MORE! Sadly it had to come to an end as I took the last bite, and was disappointed to find no more of the succulent meat. I wanted to ask for more, but It would be rude of me to ask.

Then again, human female might not mind, and she had said many times to ask her anything if needed.

I turn to ask her but the words dies on my tongue when I saw her eating one of the round red and orange objects. The leaves on her plate gone along with the white stuff. Small flat teeth pierces flesh of the round object, taking a chunk and leaves marks in their wake. The way humans eat seems to require a lot of chewing, much like the San 'Shyuum and Unggoy. Every time her mouth opens, I can see her sharp teeth and some flat ones in the back. Humans have tiny necks, so I guess chewing is required for food to go down the throat.

She looks at me, caught me staring, and swallows her current bite. "Need anything?"

"I would like some more." I pick up the tray and hand it to her.

She takes the tray and leaps down from her seat, the food object still in hand. "I'll be back." She turns to leave and continues to eat the mysterious object in her hands, carrying the tray in the other.

As I watch her go one of the guards said something, and I turn to their attention. They were discussing something in the common tongue, visors moving back and forth. Then the female guard had indicated something about me, and suddenly I feel alone. I don't know these aliens. These _Sp'rtans_....They were the larger of the alien species, yet not entirely human. The elders had called them machines, beings made of both flesh and metal. The priestesses told of them being creatures corrupted by humans, a horrible result of touching the sacred relics. The Prophets' tale of these beings were the most popular one; they were a combination of humans done wrong in their past life, reborn as one entity only to seek revenge upon the Covenant.

A silly thoughts and over exaggerated tales.

When my blood brothers left for war against the humans, they spoke the truth about these creatures. They were just humans with supreme strength and agility, matching their own against the best of warriors. If that is true, I wonder how these beings came to be. Were they born this way, blessed by their own Gods, or did something else happen and it was our fault? Ah, more answers are needed and I'm less likely to get some sleep.

"Here you go!" I nearly jump from my seat, surprised by the small female. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." She sets the tray of meat down in front of me, and licks her fingers of the blood. She says something in the common tongue and then walks around me. She sits in her seat next to me, and picks up the second round object on her plate.

I eat from the tray, delighted to taste the alien meat once more.

As I eat, I hear the human guards talking with the female. She seems to carry on detail, a thorough explanation which went on for a long time. The guards listening to her only to interrupt time to time when deemed necessary. The female scoffs, and her voice begins to rise. She's becoming upset, something said by the guards had set her off. The female guard speaks up, her voice harden and thick.

The small female said two syllables.

The male guard bangs his fist against the table, angry. He points to me and then the female next to me, the language falls off his his tongue filled with hatred, movements harsh and swift. He was quite intimidating, especially with the weapons on his person.

I look to the female next to me, and she was smiling. Her blood eyes gleam with confidence and victory, knowing what happens next the guard will lose. It didn't matter the male guard was bigger than her, faster then her, and may even kill her with just a pull of a trigger. She was enjoying the spectacle the guard was displaying, and then laughs in his face. The female guard laughs with her, both females seem more than entertained when the male sat back in defeat.

Humans have an odd sense of humor.

Once I finish eating the last of the meat, I take my time to look around the large room. The walls are all white, the metal seats and tables attached to the floor. The food they eat was a mystery to me; meat in between what I assume was bread, liquids of various colors, brown strips of food in rectangular shape, and orange clumps of milk. I take a sniff in the air trying to identify the scents of each particular food. Experiencing new scents and flavors, brings my mind to a calm, a place of peace and rest. 

My stomach starts to rumble.

The humans at the table go silent, and they turn to stare at me. The female guard comments to him, again not understanding the language. The male guard laughs pointing at me. 

The female leans over to me, "Was that your stomach?"

"Yes."

She smiles, clearly something keeping down a fit of laughter. "Do you... _um_ , have any problems?"

"No." 

The female guard said something, her voice with merit. The smaller female looks to me, "She's asking if you need to use the bathroom."

My stomach rumbles again. I place my hand over it, "I'm still hungry."

Her eyes widen, mouth agape. "How much do you need to eat?"

I look back down to my tray, remembering the small portions the female gave me the last time. I understand now human and Sangheili food portions differ largely. I need to give her an idea of how much my kind eats. I don't know how humans measure weight nor am I sure if the humans know our metric system. So, I point to the tray. "I need four more of these."

The female looks to the tray and what I guess was a look of amazement was displayed on her face. The guards spoke to her and she in turn answer. They too seem amaze at whatever she told them, most likely of what we just discussed. The male guard leaves his seat and pats my shoulder, humor in his voice as he spoke to me. He walks away heading to the table filled with food.

"He said he's getting you more food -and paying for it."

"Pay?"

"Yes, we pay for our food."

"You're at war, shouldn't soldiers eat for free."

"Yes, but I'm a civilian and you're a prisoner of war. Technically." She state as fact.

"What do you mean by civilian?"

"I'm not in the military."

"But you are on their grounds, are you not?"

"Yes."

My mind buzzes with information, trying to understand how humans' society work in terms of war. "Do care to explain."

"Well," she rotates in the seat, her body facing me and giving full attention. "Remember earlier I said I was the only one who can speak the Sangheili tongue." I nod to her, recalling having the conversation in the cell. "My father works for the UNSC, studying forerunner technology. A few years ago, during visitations, my father would allow me to look at the artifacts and help him translate some of the inscriptions. Since the San 'Shyuum and Sangheili had more experience dealing with the technology, my father thought learning the languages would help understand what they did." Her eyes darts off to the side a smile tugs at the edge of her mouth. "It didn't work as he'd planned but it did help push the war more to the humans favor."

She does it again, singling herself out from the rest of her race. I did not ask her of why she did it, only to continue our conversation. I will ask the female about that some other time, my want of understanding human society gets the better of me. "So your father is a translator. What's your place in all of this?"

Her blood eyes looks to me, body more relax. "How about we play a game?"

Is she changing the subject? "Why must we play a game?"

"This conversation is leading to...personal territory." She hesitates slightly, taking a deep breath. "I feel more comfortable if you would tell me parts of your past."

Interesting. "What benefit would this game have?"

She says something to the female guard. The guard nods and leaves the table. After the guard left, the female faces me once more. "To start off, lets go over the rules. We both take turns asking one question, and the other answers. If the person doesn't want to answer then they have to eat a slice of _lemon,_ or something really spicy." That seems simple enough. "You must answer honestly -no lying." Fair. "If you can't answer the question, like -say, you can't recall an event. Then just answer to the best of your knowledge." That's fine by me. "And above all -no holding back on details."

"That is fair."

"Okay, I will start off." The female gives me a sly smile, one that speaks in silence to be wary. I may have fallen for a trap.

The female guard returns with a plate of food and a glass bottle of some red thick liquid. The plate had tiny yellow pieces of sliced vegetation, the scent quite sweet. The bottle with the red liquid had a picture on the front of what seems a green vegetable on fire. The substance within the bottle must be made of the vegetable depicted on the front. I have a sense I would not enjoying tasting from the bottle. 

 

"What's my name?" The female asks me.

Her name? I remember her telling me once in the cell. It's a human name. . .

. . .I can not seem to recall. The female also caught on I could not remember her name, for she slides the red bottle closer to me. "You seem like your the spicy kind of person."

This definitely was a trap.

"This was a set up." I grab the bottle, not enjoying I could not remember the human female's name.

"It's only a set up if couldn't remember my name." She smiles knowing she was right.

I grumble, feeling my mandibles press against one another as my teeth clicked in irritation. I open the bottle, noticing the mechanic was similar to our own. I take the cap off and the scent slaughters my sense of smell. I can feel the tears welling up the side of my eyes, my throat dry in the air. I can nearly taste the liquid on my tongue, the substance. . .death. 

What is this made of!?! 

I place the cap on the table and look at the female, glaring. "I don't appreciate this." I flip the bottle in my mouth and take a swallow.

*Cough, cough, cough*

"No one does. That's why it's fun." The female laughs, the guard not far after.

I set the bottle down, tears falling down my face. My body feels as though it was on fire, the temperature forcing me to pant. The taste was salt, pure salt! So much salt! I could smell nothing, but the drool from my mouth leaks between my mandibles. I must look like a mess. 

I gasps for air, wanting to get back at the little demon. "My turn..." I cough several more times, trying to get myself under control. "What's my name?"

"J'kar 'Vadam." That smile is never going to leave. Now it was her turn, and I regret falling for such a trap. "Isn't J'kar a female name?"

"Yes, my mother given it to me out of spite of never having any daughters and my father never there to comfort her." I think back to the time I asked the same question myself. The name was given to me out of hatred, but my mother came to adore it. She would take her time saying my name with much love and effort, I need not a new name for I too love it as she did. "It's means 'to take one's breath away'."

"Wow, that's beautiful." The female takes a deep breath, " _J'kar_." Her breath flows like gentle wind, her syllables like music, and emotion indescribably deeply yearning. Just as my mother would say my name. "I can see why your mother loves the name."

"What is your name?"

" _Muriel_." Her eyes were a bit sad, the smile now was a mere fake. "My birth mother was an artist and wanted to name me after a painting she did. The actual name I guess didn't sound right, so she named me after the type of art - _mural_. Which is art done to an entire wall." The female -- _Muriel_ pushes the plate full of sliced vegetation closer to me. "What is your favorite color?"

I look down at the yellow slices and knew she wanted me to pass on the answer. Taunting me in action, but not this time. I was the one smiling now. "I don't have one, but I had always admire the colorful gowns the females wore at the festivals." _Murieal-Mureal?_ nods in acceptance. It was my turn to ask, "How old are you?"

The female was silent, her face contorted with emotion. _Mu-rale_ looks to the food and spice, "Pass."

"It's a simple question-

"PASS." Clearly she doesn't want to speak upon it. I wonder if all females, regardless of species, are sensitive to their age.

I pass over the bottle, grinning like a fool. "Here you go. Drink up." I wanted pay back, and I was finally going to get it.

 _Mure-lia..?_ doesn't hesitate nor takes her time sniffing the bottle. She presses her lips against the rim of the bottle, reminding me I had drank from the same bottle and she was now getting a taste of my saliva. She flicks the bottle up in her mouth, the red liquid casting bubbles through the glass. However, she doesn't swallow. Instead she puts the bottle down and opens her mouth showing me the red liquid bathing her tongue, twirling the organ around in a taunt. 

The female was immune to the fire liquid.

She swallows the liquid and smiles, "I had worse."

I felt my mandibles drop open, pure disbelief that any creature can withstand such force of heat. I shake my head --but of course! The humans invented such things, it would make sense they would become resistant. "Not fair."

"You should've handed me the the lemons." She points to the sweet scented yellow pieces. 

I look down to the vegetation and then turn to look at her. "Your turn."

She laughs at me, my displeasure was surely the main amusement. "What's sex like for your species?"

WHAT? 

I jerk back, not believing the words leaving her mouth. Are humans so curious they forget their surroundings? "What sex is like?"

"Is that not what I said?" She mocks me.

I don't want to the bright yellow food, which I know is a trap. So I answer, no a doubt a blush has shone upon my face. "I am not if age..." _Mural_ made a sound, her mouth in a circular shape. "I have heard from my blood brothers that the sacred acts was unlike any feeling one would experience by themselves." I grow uncomfortable, talking about such sacred acts with a female. "I was told the action tires the body but excites the mind and soul." I know my face must be a ravenous blue by now, I can already hear the blood in my earbuds. "I-I have been told by my mother the sacred acts hurts at first, but one would get use to it after the first time an-and..."

 _Mulera_ places her hand on mine laughing at me, "Don't- you don't have to continue."

I sigh in relief, "Thank you." I can feel my temperature return to normal, the heat in my face fading away. "If you don't mind me asking. What is the sacred acts like for your kind?"

The female scoffs, rolling her eyes. "If you understood the common tongue, you can hear them now." She indicates with her head pointing to the loud group of young males sitting in the middle of the room. "Males rally with one another trying to lay with any female to establish some pride in themselves. Females are no different. Always talking what techniques to use to pleasure their partner, different positions to take for better experience, and...whether or not they did it with some one of the same sex or a party more than two." The female was not proud when those were said, her head hanging low in boredom. "It's exciting one point part of your life, then it becomes everything you know. Once you learn much about sex it gets . . . " she tilts her head back and forth, her hand following the motions as well. "Boring."

"Boring?"

"Don't get me wrong. The excitement is still there, it's just not the same."

"I'm guessing your first time wasn't grand."

"I'm guessing that's your next question." She's good.

"Fine, then what's your question?"

The female smiles a grand smile. "Would you like it if I teach you how to speak, read and write the common tongue?"

I debate on the question. Not a few weeks ago, I had always avoided learning the common language and thought it foolish to learn something I will never use. Now...Now, I have a reason and a purpose. I do not wish to continuously dwell in silence wondering what the other human is speaking. Most of all, it would be helpful to learn something that will later help me survive in later outcomes. "Yes, I will love to."

"Great! Now to answer your earlier question." She grabs the bottle filled with red liquid and twists the cap back on. "My first time wasn't with anybody. I had taken my own virginity."

How is that even possible?

"I guess Sangheili don't know what  _masturbation_  is." I'm not familiar with the word. "It is when one takes it upon themselves to pleasure themselves without the need of another." I still don't understand, and I'm quite sure it shows on my face. She holds out her hand then slowly lowers it down below her waist. It stops just above the-

Oh

OH!

AH! I see...

"I'm beginning to understand."

"Your turn."

Time went on, asking and answering questions I get to freely ask. I learn humans are more open to ideas and have creative decision making. Comparing our two different societies was no competition but an aspect in sharing wisdom. Humans may not have hold honor as we do, but they once had an entire culture and history based around it. Their acts of chivalry turned into declarations of compassion and heart. It was not their religion or lifestyle that made them 'human', but individuality and for them acknowledging such existence. It would also explain why so many of their kind were different yet carry the same air around them.

I just wish the others would learn about them as I did.

It wasn't long into our 'game' the male Spartan came back with a large bowl filled with meat. We continued as I ate, wanting to learn more of the humans. The Spartans even joined in, asking me odd yet simple questions of how our society works, Muriel being our translator. 

I also learned a few _English_ words as well; such as _fuck_ , _shit_ , _bitch_ , _whore_ , _slut_ , and many other insults and vulgar vocabulary. The Spartans wanted me to learn them first before any word to identify what words should and should not be used when around others. Oddly enough _fuck_ and _shit_ is highly more accepted than _bitch_ and the words alike. It was explain to me that females take the words offensively towards their gender as males are questioned about their masculinity. _Ass_ seems more like a vulgar term meant only for jokes and low angered arguments. Of course I told Muriel and the Spartans which words in Sangheili were insults and how to use them.

I know the Spartans may use this to their advantage when on the field. However, Muriel is keen set on not using them in her vocabulary. From what I understand, she only uses vulgar words when highly upset or pissed. That will be the day, to see some pour soul become victim to the female's wrath. Rumor has it she was a _spitfire_ , a person once angered can ruin your whole life by saying only a few words.

The day comes to an end, when Muriel yawns. She needed sleep, and we would both pick on our conversation tomorrow beginning with _English_ lessons. Human's sense of time was much faster than a Sangheili's, our planet being much bigger with two suns. We walk down the corridors once more, heading back down to the cell they held me in.

I stand before it now, not wanting to go inside.

Muriel opens the door and walks in before I do. I follow her in and to my surprise the room was bigger than I last seen it. I look around and see a pile of blankets stacked in the left side of the room along with a few questionable items. To the right the toilet as reinstalled, oddly shaped yet I knew the facility when I see one. 

"They knocked down the wall between the two cells and put the toilet back in just so the males wouldn't have to dump a bucket every hour." She laughs at the last part. I too was amused. "There's your bed." She points to the pile of fabrics."They're still working on a room for you and clothes for you to wear, so this will have to make do until . . .then." She yawns, her hand barely coming up to cover her mouth. "I have to meet up with my dad's boss before I sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." She yawns again, this time lasting much longer. "Good night."

"Muriel..." The name comes naturally to me.

She turns around and looks tiredly at me.

"My name is J'kar. Please do remember it." I joke.

She smiles that infamous smile, her eyes go slant. "Have pleasant dreams J'kar. Good night."

"Good night Muriel, let the divines watch over you." 

She chuckles, "You too, J'kar." 

She leaves, the door sliding to a close. "Tell the Spartans I said good night as well!" I call out to her beyond the metal door, hoping she heard me.

"I will!" I hear her yell in answer. "Good night, J'kar!"

"Good night. . .Muriel." It is in this moment of silence I wish to keep calling out to her, to speak hours on into the far days. She has shone light to me I have never seen before and had taken care of me when she could have just left me to myself. Muriel was unlike any human I've met; weak yet brave, a kind heart made of gold, and honorable in her own way.

I walk over to the pile of blankets and other assortments of fabrics, making myself something close to a pallet. The long fabric that has served as my robe for the day becomes my blanket. I shift long hours in the night, a single question is left unanswered keeps me awake in the dark. It questions my morals, the beliefs I was taught since I was a hatch-ling, the prophets themselves, and understanding of what an enemy truly is:

Is it bad that I want to keep talking to her? 


	3. I am grateful of her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned: for there has been a HUUUUUUGE (can't express this enough) debate on the Sangheili phenotype and ranking system. I too was confused and knew 343 Industries (tm) weren't exactly keen on telling us fans why they kept changing certain parts within the Halo universe. So for the sake of fanfiction readers and [die hard] Halo fans everywhere, I'm going to keep certain parts as brief as possible. I'll let your imaginations take over for you.
> 
> Another thing to keep in mind are dates; I hate them! I also suck at keeping track of them. So I'm keeping notes and portfolio (literally) about everyone/-thing I introduce into the story. So don't be afraid to correct me on certain items or things and/or dates. Leave a comment if you find something wrong because writing this story in particular is NOT easy. NO matter how much of a fan I am.
> 
> Thank you and enjoy!

Morning comes around, and I barely had any sleep.

Or, I think it is morning..? I can't tell in this cell. I hope the humans provide me a room with a window.

I get up from my pallet and look at the fabric that served as my blanket, feeling the heavy weight and rough texture. The pattern on the fabric reminds me of Thel's cape, made of doamir-fur. The underside is gold, with tassels attached to trimmings stitched of gold, hanging off opposite sides in royal like design. The outside is a forest green with a near visible design only to be seen in reflections of light. This fabric is to be worn by the the members of the council or any Kaidon worthy in such refinery. Yet, the color is wrong.

Green fabrics are usually reserved during the mating season and grand festivities, forcing others to turn eye away from those already taken. The gold is meant for the highest of ranks such as the Prophets, Supreme Commander, Honor Guard, and anything that is the Hierarchs' hand. Whether it be a mere cape, gown, headdress, or armor; only those of highest regard are allowed to wear such a color. However, I do not know...or understand the human custom nor beliefs. So I know nothing of this fabric's true symbolism nor its meaning. All I understand is that the female, Muriel, had given me this for clothing. Something in much detail is treated like common cloth. 

Maybe humans don't use color in rankings. Perhaps something else?

Someone -no doubt a human, knocks on the cell door. "Are you covered?" It's Muriel, "I have some clothes for you! I'm sending one of the guards in!"

The cell door opens and the male guard, the same Spartan from yesterday comes in with my robes. The fabrics neatly folded and pressed, drenched in a scent of flora. He walks up to me and said something in the common tongue. I don't understand...

"He said that your clothes reminds him of a _Kimono._ " Muriel translated for me, the cell door still wide open. The guard says something and Muriel translates once more. "He's asking if your had any _underwear -_ or undergarments. He can't seem to find them."

"No..." I wonder, "What are the _u'der_ - _we'r_?" I take the robes from the Spartan and commence to dress. The Spartan stares at me with his yellow visor, obviously not sensitive about my nudity.

"It's...something you wear underneath the clothes." That's odd why do you need such things. "Your kind don't have a word for it. Humans wear them to protect their... _uh_ , reproductive organs for hygienic purposes and privacy. Sangheili don't need them because your sex organs are...How do I explain? They don't show. They're...hidden? Pocketed? Layered?" She seems to be struggling with her explanation. This also confuses me, hearing Muriel saying a Sangheili male's extremities basically doesn't exist. We piss and _shit_ just as much as any living creature does. We have sex to make young or for pleasure when needed. We eat and drink nearly the same way. How are human's sex organs that much different from a Sangheili?

I tie my belt around my waist, careful not to trap my claws inside the folds. I hear Muriel curse the words _shit_ and _fuck_ out of anger. "I'll be blunt. Human sex organs hang out all the time and Sangheili sex organs goes back into the body once they had their fun. It's the best way I can tell you without showing pictures."

WAIT--WHAT?

"How is that even possible? Won't your intestines fall out?" I heard rumor from those of the 'Sraom clan, that one of their members experienced a horrid death when the warrior couldn't return their sex organ back into their body. Said the organ had fallen off and the intestines spilling along with it.

I heard her chuckle. "No, our bodies hold our intestines in." Muriel says something in the common tongue, earning snickers and chuckles from the Spartans. After another comment, the male guard falls over to his knees, shoulders shaking, and gasping for breath as he laughs. His female companion laughs lightheartedly, I can see her helmet slowly moving back and forth just at the edge of the door. 

I couldn't help but feel like an outsider. I do not understand what was so funny. Such a death is grotesque and anguishing. Or maybe I have it wrong, and just don't understand. I can not understand no matter how much I try. "Why are they laughing?"

"What you said before," Muriel was trying hard not to laugh, "It's not true. About...about the insides falling out." she gives up holding it in and laughs.

I shake my head still not understanding. "You humans are a wonder." I finish dressing, feeling comfortable in my own garments once more. My sandals are missing, but I am fine walking around bare as long as we don't walk on concrete; the rough surface tends to dig into the sole of my hooves and chafe. 

I walk to the door as the Spartans comes to a calm after the fits of laughter. Muriel was leaning against the opposite side of the wall, arms crossed and face slightly pink. I come to realize she wore blue and red clothing, her red tunic big enough that one of her sleeves had fallen to show a naked shoulder. I'm guessing the red strap was there to hold up that side of the tunic. Her long fur tied back into a tail with a few stands resting at both sides of her face. 

Her blood eyes catch my attention. "You ready to go?"

"Go where?" I had not heard of this.

She smiles her famous smile; squint eyes, white teeth showing, and slightly hunched shoulders. All with a mysterious glow about her. "Outside!"

Outside? "What's...outside?"

She moves her eyes in a circular motion. "You've been locked up over a week. Now, you're getting fresh air and sunlight." She does the odd gesture holding her hand upside down towards me. I still don't get its meaning but I take her hand anyway, curious of where she will lead me.

We travel down white hall after white hall, bypassing a few humans on the way. I always receive odd stares and curious glances from them, most of them from Muriel holding my hand. I guess the gesture of our hands connecting is a sign friendship. Or at least that is what I am understanding. Since Muriel's coming, the other humans were no longer hostile towards me. Instead, they've just kept their distance and stare from afar; not once willing to get close.

I look behind and was surprised not to see the Spartans following us. It was odd not to see the overshadowing guards protecting us from the rear as they did yesterday. Their missing large forms makes their absence all that more noticeable. When did they leave? Where did they go? Then again it's not like the warriors would just watch us all day and sit off on the sidelines. The warriors are _Spartans_ , so they must have other duties to attend. However, without them, that just leaves-!

I don't know how, but I felt the earth shift and turn, the air still and silent. Both of my hearts beats deeply once and my senses tingle like electricity. I take one calming breath and look back down to Muriel.

Muriel and I. . . Just the two of us -alone?

I look down back at our hands. She wasn't gripping me hard, just a gentle pull with her long fingers. I could just let go and our hands will untie. I could run away and escape if I wanted. I can overpower her -use her as a hostage and get a ship -fly back to Sanghelios. I know the other humans wouldn't risk harming one of their own, especially the Spartans. As much a plan that would be, why does the thought of it feel wrong?

Maybe because I will be betraying her? Turning my back on the only human willing be to take care of me. For what reason than to return to the place I had always wanted to escape for the longest of time. What if I fail? Would the humans just kill me? Or would they leave me trapped in the cell forever to my lonesome, forbidding me to ever to see Muriel again. Alone without any means to communicate with others outside my race. If those are the outcomes, I rather hold hands in friendship than commit betrayal to the only being willing to care for me.

Most of all, it will hurt to lose a friend.

"Are you feeling well J'kar?" Muriel's voice catches my attention. "You started to slow down and squeezed my hand." I look down to our joined hands and notice there were red welts on her hands. Any harder and my claws would've torn through her flesh. She should be in pain and yet she did not speak about it, not once complaining or notifying what harm I had done to her soft hide. Instead she holds only concern for me. 

Muriel...She may be the only friend I have.

No, she is the only friend I have.

"I'm..." My throat chokes, I strain to get the words out. "I'm grateful. . ." I can feel water on my mandibles, my body tenses and convulses. I try again to speak, my voice...Am I crying? No, I shouldn't be crying. "I'm grateful to have a friend...like you." As soon the words left my mouth, I felt a slight pressure leaving my body. 

And yet at the same time, I feel like I am punishing myself.

"Here," Muriel holds up a white cloth to me, wiping my tears away. "It's okay to cry. I'm here for you." She comes closer to my body and rubs my lower back in smooth circular motions.  "Let it all out." Her blood eyes give me reassurance and I did something I hadn't done since I was a hatch-ling.

I cried without resistance.

Crying is only for the weak, never for warriors. Then again I'm not a warrior, and will become an adult within the next orbit. I can cry because of my age, yet I have been raised in a society where tears are not allowed. Such a state is only seen as a weakness. Those caught seen in a state of weakness will be ridiculed and lose all respect from others, especially their superiors. But I can cry, for tears are not a weakness but a way to display an intense emotion and. . .

And I need this feeling. 

I recounted the days my mother held me in comfort, telling me to cry whenever we were alone and out of father's presence. I recall the time my blood brothers had hurt my feelings and shunned me for crying. I recollect the times my mother told me never to cry again whenever my eyes fill with tears. I reminisce about how broken I felt every time I wanted to cry, only to hold back the tears and felt even more destroyed. Finally I remember the last time I cried, after father told me I wasn't allowed to join the Elites. 

Just those memories had my throat loosen and loud sobs shakes from my being. I know I must look like a mess and somewhat odd to be crying in the long white corridor. But at this point I just don't care. I just wanted this...this horrid feeling to go away. And away it went with every tear, with every sob, with every second I stand here with Muriel to comfort me. I feel the pressure go away, the dark emotions fall off my shoulders like silk clothing. It almost feels like that time Muriel unchained me from that wall - free!

I feel free!

I can't help but laugh, the weight completely gone. I feel very light on my hooves and my chest fills with fresh air. I take a deep breath and the air fills me with renewed energy. I never seem to remember when taking a breath filled me with such great joy and strength. I breath once more, getting a deeper satisfaction of the oxygen filling my lunges. I seem to become addicted to the taste and my mind tingles with -with...I don't know what to call this feeling. . . The best way to describe it would be a cool wind blowing on my hide, reducing my temperature to a point of where I feel neither heat nor cold.

"Feeling better?" I look at Muriel and her eyes smile, burning with an emotion I can't quite place. "I bet you had a lot of stress just building up." She wipes the last of my tears away, gentle and careful. "Crying is one of the best ways to relieve stress. Sometimes, you just got to let go." 

Stress? Is this what this was?

"Still feel like going outside?" She is encouraging me to continue. Patiently waiting for me.

I nod to her, "Yes, lets'. I have been inside for too long." Muriel holds out her hand in that signature position. I grab her hand once more, both of us walking down the corridors. 

The outside is beautiful.

Our journey to the outside took longer than I expected. White wall next to more white wall with only the color coded signs to tell us the which direction we take and walled maps to tell us where we were. Muriel tried her best to teach me how to read the maps, adding a few more words of the English language to my knowledge; _you are here_ , _exit_ , and _floor_ with their number. I also greeted the few humans we passed by, waving at them in a kind manner. Some were distant, others friendly and talkative. Humans I come to learn are colorful in both form and personality. But nothing can compare to the outside.

There is so much green!

I never seen so much green in my life! The tall trees, the far fields, the thick bushes, the machinery and weapons. Just lushes of green! My experience with the outside only stretches as far as Vadam keep and its people. Harsh military standards, deep caverns, and endless large mountainous deserts stretching far as the eyes can see. In a way where humans have endless amount of green, back home- there is brown dirt and high advance machinery.

We made our way to the open field passing large groups of humans. All of them wearing matching uniforms, warriors without a doubt. There are human warriors jogging in order, more humans striking weird different posses in unified rhythmic patterns, and humans practicing their combat skills with metal knives. So many humans!

I feel intimidated by so many in one place.

"We'll sit over there, okay?" Muriel points to the far end of the field, another large white and grey building rests on the high hills. A large oval dirt pathway marked with white separates the field from the two buildings.

The area was isolated with the warriors on this side of the field. "That is fine."

She guides me to the other side of the field, crossing over the dirt pathway and onto the soft grass. It feels cool to the touch underneath my hooves. I can't help but drag my toes across the fine greenery. Gazing over the greenery, I come to see a large patch of red and white fabric resting in the grass. A pile of odd boxes, various in color, lays on top of the patch.

We stop before the patch, Muriel release my hand to sit on it. I follow her pattern, slowly placing my rear on the -fabric? It's a large cloth, the patterns of red crossing over white, or is it white over red? It's soft yet thick, such a weird texture but I quickly turn my attention else where. My interest was on the grass, how the fine greenery sends a tingle to my hooves and sticks to my hide in a soothing way. I touch the grass with my hands, a new feeling to the touch sends my mind reeling. The wind picks up and the sea of green starts a dance, their movements give a gentle melody like music. This is all new to me, all this grass! I brush my hand deeper in the grass, my claws sinking into the cool earth. I'm starting to feel light headed...

A beeping sound!

I look to Muriel, catching her touching a metal contraption on her wrist. She was quiet, her face in a slight frown. I look over the device on her wrist, the small holographic interface quickly switching and shifting as she moves her finger and thumb. The blue, red, yellow, and green highlights shows on a graph. A human body displayed beside it with one of the hands glowing red. The top right corner displays time at 09:13. The bottom has three bars with symbols labeling each one differently.

Such an odd thing. "What is that?"

"My regulator." She touches the interface once and the device beeps. "It helps me stay alive."

Keep her alive? Don't tell me..."Are you dying?"

" _Huh_?" She looks up to me, " _Oh_ -no!" She presses a button on the side of the device and it shuts off. "I'm not dying it's just I was born with a rare condition where I can't feel pain." Sounds like a blessing. "And since I can't feel pain I can't feel much of anything." 

"How can you feel nothing when you're born unable to feel pain?" What does the absence of pain have to do with your other senses?

Muriel looks at me with slight confusion. Her face changes to realization, I guess she didn't understood my question quite well. "Well, I can't tell what is cold or hot. So if I get sick I won't be able to tell." She changes her sitting position with one leg bending towards me and holds out her hand. The welts had darken, formed into bruises. "See, I can't feel the pain." She pushes on the markings, the coloration changing from a dark purple to red. "It's not bleeding so it's nothing to worry about. I was using my regulator to make sure my body was still healthy." She points to the device on her wrist. "The beeping sound tells me if there was something wrong with my body and should check how serious it is."

I think I understand. Unable to tell how far your body has been pushed can lead to severe consequences. Even lead you to a quick death. Curious, "Can you feel my hide?"

"No." She shakes her head, a sad look on her face. "I can't sweat. I can't feel the heat of the sun, the grass, the blanket. Not even the wind -even though I can hear it."

This is...something else, different wouldn't be the word of choice for this situation. Here before me, is a human that can't feel much of anything because the absence of pain. "May I...try something?"

"Okay."

I reach out to her face and gently brush my knuckles against her cheeks, careful with my claws. "Do you feel this?"

"No."

I rub a little harder. "How about now?"

"No."

I grab her hand and rub against her fingers, her tiny claws are laughable in size. Her hand is different from mine with her extra digit in the far end where the second thumb should be. The color of her flesh nearly the same as mine. Then again, I am pale in comparison to my brothers. I can see her tiny hairs on her arm, all thin and point. Nothing like a Jiralhanae. "You can't feel me...ever?"

"I can feel you staring at my arm and moving my fingers." I look up at her and see her face flush. She's embarrassed again.

Why is she embarrassed?

"What do you feel?" Her blood eyes kept to the grass, avoiding contact of mine.

Such an odd question. "What do you mean?"

Muriel meets my eyes. The light of the sun makes the blue her eyes glow, the brown in her eyes makes it all that unique. "Is my skin soft?"

"Very much so."

"Do I feel warm?"

"Yes."

"How about my hair?"

I reach up to the mass of fur on top of her head. I pat her as a pet, getting a good feel to the texture. For something for so long and curly, it is amazingly soft and smooth to the touch. I drag my claws into the long fur hanging loosely at the side of her face. The dark color seemingly black comes to a light brown and red in the light of the sun. "It's softer than I thought and quite thick."

"I take care of my hair. I used to spend hours in front of a mirror just to make it shine." She changes her sitting position once more, pulling her legs up to her chest. A very odd position to sit, yet she seem use to it. "Since I can't feel or smell anything, I had to rely on sight and hearing. When I was younger, past the age of hatch-ling by your terms, all I did was made sure my hair was at its best." She leans closer to my hand, her cheek touching my finger. "So many hours just to hear from other humans how soft and wonderful my hair is."

I brush her fur once more, twisting the smooth hairs between my fingers and thumbs. "I know not much about fur, yet I can say it is far from a Jiralhanae's. In a good way."

She smiles at me, happy to receive my compliment. "Thank you." She grabs one of the weird boxes and flip open the lid. The box shifts as it opens, becoming a more pyramid like structure. A holographic interface of a sphere appears before me, odd hieroglyphics rotates around the sphere. "Time to learn the common language!"

I sigh, "I guess."

Muriel's smile grow bigger, her teeth showing. "Don't worry, it'll guide you the entire way." She touches the sphere, the interface changing into multiple panels. "We will start with the beginners lesson and work our way up. First are introductions, colors, and the alphabet." She selects one of the panels and a list of hieroglyphics appears. Three of the symbols I recognize.

I am nervous and a bit lost. "What do I do?"

"It's going to teach you a few things every session. After each session I will test you afterwards to see how far you're understanding goes. If you fail the test, we will start over and try to change the pace. If you pass the test, you will continue onto the next session and add onto the knowledge you previously gain. Once you reach the intermediate level we will start speaking in the common tongue and correct your pronunciation along the way. If you have any questions, just ask."

Sounds simple and easy to go by. "Have you done this before, teaching that is?"

Muriel's face had an odd look. I can not quite place the look. "Not really, I helped my younger sister with her homework sometimes. It's a nice learning experience." She changes her sitting position, her legs cross in front of her. "You ready?"

"Yes, I am."

I'm not sure if it was her excitement or my own, yet now I want to learn. Ironically it's something I have been trying to avoid the past years. It's a bit funny now I think about it. Back home I would deny the elder's aid to teach me different languages, but here with Muriel I am more willing to learn. And I know by the end of this, I will appreciate it even more.

"Lets' get started!"

 

"We're done for today." I look up from the hologram, my claw an inch away from the interface. Muriel grabs the odd box and opens the lid. "You hungry?"

My stomach answers for me and my hand goes to my midsection on instinct. Quite embarrassing actually.

She laughs, "I guess so." Muriel swipes her hand on the interface and the images disappears, shutting off the machine. "Lets' pack up for now, eat, and then we can continue on the lessons."

I stand up from the blanket and wait in the grass. I watch her pack the machinery away back into the odd box and places it back with the others. My mind goes back to our earlier lessons. "I have a few questions."

"Yes?" She is quite patient with me, her blood eyes still holding that bright reflection. By her lead, we start to walk back towards the building we came from. I match my walking pace with hers, I have still yet to learn of the buildings interior.

"If I am to understand," Now that I think of it, the acknowledgement is quite humorous. "In terms of literature, both of our languages carry the same alphabet."

Muriel was a bit hesitant. "In a way..."

"However in tongue, they are pronounced differently and have singularity in meaning. To say blue in Sangheili and _blue_ in the common tongue mean the same yet different. They are also seen differently in cultures. Blue to my kind is seen as the blood of my brothers, as for you it is seen as an expression of sadness."

"Correct." She was still a bit hesitant.

There is something I just can not understand. "Would you care to go into deeper detail for me? How did you come to understand the Sangheili tongue?"

"Well most languages have a basis, or a starting ground of some kind. Not everything is written the same, _nor-_ I mean, not are they seen the same. They are grouped together." She bits her lips, a sign I have lately discovered to mean she was in deep thought. "The Sangheili written language has many meanings for a single word, more than the _English_ language." Ah, yes. The common tongue is called _English_. I must remember that. "An example would be **brother**. For you to mean a blood relative, you have to put the word  **blood** in front of **brother** if you don't want say **friend** , **comrade** , or **subordinate**. Which, of course, each are emphasized with a different pronunciation for each but written all the same."

"Yes, I can understand that." It confuses me at times as well.

"As for your second question. I came to learning the language after learning _Chinese_." Her body shudders with a shake of her head. Is she shivering? No, she can't feel cold temperature. "Now, that language is a nightmare. For me at least."

"How so?"

"Try saying this with me." She says something in a language I never heard of. The pronunciation sounded stern and to the point, each syllable clear and precise. She speaks again, this time slower.

So tried at the tongue, " _Nei howl ma.._?" She laughs and I try again. " _Nee hao mah.._?"

"You got close, but not close enough." She laughs.

"What did I say?"

"Nothing, you couldn't pronounce it right. Try this one..." She says something in English this time. I can make out a few words from today's earlier lesson.

" _Red_..." This was harder Than I thought. "... _as a roze_..?"

" _Rose_." She corrects me.

" _Rose_." I try again at the word. My tongue tingles as the word leaves my mouth. "I think I can get the hang of this."

"From what I seen earlier, you can read some _English_ but you have trouble speaking it." She bits her lip again, "Try thinking of the sentence first before you speak it."

I think of a sentence, trying to translate the words from Sangheili to _English._ I try something simple to not push myself too hard. I didn't want to embarrass myself. "I eat meat." The written sentences of both languages come to mind. I can see the words in _English_ , keeping it in thought, I try to speak the words. " _I ate...mate_."

Muriel just laughs. She hugs her sides as she curls in herself, her head bent down towards the floor.

"What-What is it that I said?" What did say that was wrong?

She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. "It's pronounced, _I eat meat_. You said, **I ate mate**."

By the Forerunners! I said that? I have embarrassed myself! I can feel by cheeks heat up, a blush forming on my face. I want to hide it and cover my face with my hands. "I did not mean that."

Muriel rubs my arm, reassuring me. "It's okay, everyone makes mistakes. It helps us learn." She wipes away her tears and sniffs with her nose. "Try again, but this time put the letter ' _E'_ in front of the letter ' _A'_." I don't know when we had stopped, but we start to walk. Muriel leads the way as I walk beside her.

Removing my hands from my face, I try again. This time taking Muriel's advice and switching the alphabet in my head. I feel like such a fool. "I can understand and see where I had went wrong." I try again, this time with more confidence. " _I eat meat_."

"There you go, _good job_!" She congratulates me like a child. However, instead of feeling put down, I feel proud. I made a mistake and simply corrected it. "At this rate, you might start speaking _English_ in just a couple of weeks!" She was really excited, full with energy.

I might be just a little too confident, yet I try again at the language. " _I want...practice...the tongue...and learn to speak_."

" _OOooh..._ " She had this look of fascination on her face, a smile at the corners of her mouth. "That was very good! A bit slow, but I can help you with that." Her eyes widen for some reason and looks straight into my eyes. "Lets skip a few steps and try a short cut. You try speaking English and I'll just correct you if there's something wrong." She clears her throat, the words leaving her mouth came out slow. It was in a form of a question I think. The word _how_ has become very familiar to me as of late.

" _I am...nice._ " I think that is correct.

Muriel pouts, or I think it is a pout. She tries again, this time changing the sentence into a longer one. I catch the words _how_  and  _feeling_.

Oh! " _I am..._ " What is an emotion in English...Ah. " _...happy._ "

She gives me an odd look, her gaze questioning. "You studied  _English_ before?"

"A little...My father wanted me to learn the common tong-- _English_ , so I could fill in my position as breeder. I did not agree with father's demands and went against his orders." I think back on my past actions, recalling the days I had became rebellious. "I did everything within my power to avoid learning the language. It came to the point where my father had me chained to a chair and the teacher beaten the lessons into me. I..." The next words falls from me like water down my throat. "...had given in at some point and learned little."

"I can relate." She had this distant look in her eyes. 

We made it to the... _caf-et-eria_ , as it was labeled by the door, and went inside. I see the room filled with humans, all of them eating and drinking with other humans. With Muriel in the lead, we make our way to the same table as before from yesterday. The two familiar guards seemingly waiting for us. As we got closer, I realize they had their helmets off and three trays of food with a bowl of raw meat sitting in front and across from them. The food were left untouched.

Standing here before them, I couldn't help but stare at the guards.

They are human.

Well, not entirely. Their eyes are bright and deeply rimmed in color. Their faces are shapely, full of youth with various battle scars. The male's fur was short and thick as the female's was pulled back into a tiny tail, not one strand out of place. Both of their skins are ridiculously pale. I guess being around Muriel has helped me see the physical difference in humans.

The males looks me in the eyes. We stare for a while at each other. He says something to me, the words _seat_ and _food_ I catch, but have no real understanding of them. 

Something taps me on the arm. It was Muriel. "He said, why don't you take a seat and eat your food?" She smirks at me, "You are staring."

Oh! "I apologize, I do not mean to come off being rude." Muriel translates for me and the male nods. He seems to not care.

I take my place next to Muriel and eat, once more enjoying the taste of succulent meat. However during the entire meal, no matter how much I try, I can't seem to look away from the warriors. Something about them attracts my attention and curiosity. I can't help but ask, "Are all humans like them?"

" _Huh_?" She stops the leaves from entering her mouth, pierced with the metal utensil in her hand. "What do you mean?"

"I mean your warriors. Are all of them like your... _Spartans_?" The word feels weird on my tongue. Upon saying the word, the guards look up from their food and look at me. 

"Do the other warriors look like the _Spartans_?"

"No." How do I say this? "There is something about them that attracts me."

Muriel looks at the Spartans and then back at me. "You're attracted to them...?" The way she phrases it sounds as though I wanted to mate with them, as I was attracted to them in sense of courtship. " _Oh_ , you meant with the staring!" 

"Yes."

She shrugs, "I don't know." She thinks about something, that far off distant look on her face. "I guess it's because of how they look. They do seem different from other humans."

I guess that's as good of an answer I could get. The female warrior speaks, hearing the words **Sangheili** and _staring_ coming out of her mouth. My eyes once more go to the Spartans, curious of what they had to say. Muriel talks back to them, the English language rolls off her tongue smoothly. I hear the words in English, understanding the words they speak the longer I listen. Even if the tongue is foreign to me, I can at least guess what they were talking about. 

The female guard speaks, with the words _Covenant_ and _Elites_. I'm guessing she is talking about the Elites within the Covenant, or it may have to do with the relation of how I am of the same species as my brothers.

The male guard speaks the words _time_ and _Spartans_ in a single sentence, I believe. The sentence after that held the words _Com-man-der_ and _Covenant_. My guess of what he says is in correlation of what the female said earlier. Again I remind myself they are warriors. They will face off against my brothers in battle, fighting to the death until a victor comes out of either side.

To believe I wanted to join this war, and become an _Elite_ to fight alongside my brothers. Now. . .

Now, I don't know what to do. 

Muriel speaks, " _When are you leav-ing?_ " Her sentencing I understand the most. I'm not sure of why. May it be of the way she speaks, or it may have to do with how I spend my time with her. I can understand the words easier as it come from her mouth.

The male warrior replies in two syllables and Muriel makes a weird noise with her teeth. She has a look of disappointment on her face, her brows furrowed slightly in what I assume is anger. She hums and takes a bite of her leaves.

Is she really angry? I am not used to human emotions and their ways of display. This will be my first time seeing a human angry. Will she throw a fit like a Jiralhanae and throw stuff around, destroying everything around her? Will she just speak in harsh tones like the San 'Shyuum? Or address how angry she is through words and threats much like my own kind?

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head, the anger leaving her body with the air she breathed out. She reclaims her calm easily and her brows straighten, no longer angry. A smile returns to her face, genuine and true as her blood eyes glow with merit. She goes back to eating her food, her shoulders more relaxed than before. The Spartans go back to eating as well, the discussion at an end.

Wait, that's it? What just happened?

I'm completely at a lost. I look to Muriel, wanting to get an answer. "What were you humans talking about?"

She looks to me, "The Spartans will be leaving next month. It will be just us two until my father comes back from...wherever he is."

"You seemed upset."

"I am...and I can not do anything about it." She stabs her utensil on a leave in a much harsh manner.

I am not comfortable with this angry Muriel. The silence was piercing and her attitude speaks of death. If her stabbing of leaves was anything to go by, I can say that a change of topics is in order. "You said something in the hall, before we entered. Something about relation..?"

She perks up, her behavior changes into curiosity. "I said, I can relate."

"What do you mean by that?" She smiles, her happiness reaches her eyes.

This happy Muriel I like much better.

"I used to get in a lot of trouble." I wait for her to continue. "Well it's a long story and it can take up the rest of the day."

"I would not mind." I am very curious.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you." She turns toward me, her body twisting in angle that has my whole attention. "I'll start from the beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing a story based on first person...FYI.


	4. I want to know her...

"I guess the best place to start is when things started to change..." Muriel had position herself to face me, both body and chair are facing me. "My parents died when I was -in your terms, a hatch-ling."

"Was this by the Covenant?"

"No, not entirely. It's mostly the humans' fault." She was sad. "My parents were... _insurrectionists -_ rebels, or free folk..."

* * *

_"I said no!" A female was shouting in the background to two other people._

_"It's too late Charlotte! David and I had already made our decision!" The other female shouts back, her angry voice echoes throughout the home._

_"You're risking your lives -for what? This-this...ideal you have over freedom!" Stomps can be heard, moving fast across the floor. "God dammit-! And what about your daughter?"_

_"WHAT ABOUT HER?"_

_"You're leaving her behind!"_

_Silence and still air was all that was heard. There was no feet moving or shouts coming from the lower floor._

_A small sound had broken the silence. "C'mon, we're gonna be late." This voice was a man's._

_The female named Charlotte speaks again, this time much calmer, "Don't do this Carol. You don't have to go. Please, I don't want you to die. Not like papa."_

_The other female's voice was cracking. Carol's voice still holding that harsh tone,"That's why you're her god-mother. If anything happens to us, I know you will take good care of her." The steps were rushing._

_"STOP --CAROL!" She was crying._

_The female in question stops in front of the hallway, looking up at the balcony on the second floor. Her husband stops behind her following her line of sight. There not far from the stair case was little Muriel. She was looking down at her mother, her hazel-blue eyes staring into the woman's brown ones. But that didn't stop Carol, as she continues to march out of the house with her husband in tow and slams the door behind them._

_"Damn it -damn it to hell!" Charlotte was still shouting._

* * *

I can't believe... "Your parents abandoned you?"

"Abandoned is a strong word. I like to use the words **carelessly forgotten** , or **bad parenting**." She sighs, "But I guess either way if you look at it, they did leave me behind." She takes a drink from her cup, the next words a bit obstructed by the liquid. "For that I am grateful."

"You're not angry of their leave?" I know I would have. The only reason for my kind to abandon their child would be of dishonor. An action they had committed that has brought shame to the family name and status. The elders of the keep would then have to relinquished them of all possessions, leaving them with nothing but the mark of shame. Excommunicated is to be executed. Not even their name would their own, it would be wiped from all records. Never to have existed.

However, to leave a child without reason would bring dishonor to the parent, and have them thrown out of the keep. The parent would be forced to survive in the wilderness alone. One of the elders of the keep would then take the child under their name, changing it entirely and leave no recognition of the true parent. It is not until the parent's death that all possessions and wealth from status will belong to the child.

Humans clearly do not know such discipline, otherwise Muriel wouldn't talk about those that given her life.

"I was. Now, I'm just glad they didn't bring me along. It turns out they were spec ops, spies for the UNSC. Their task was to unravel the rebels and destroy their organization from the inside out. If they brought me along, I would have been dead." She look up to me and smiles, "And I wouldn't had gotten the chance to meet you, J'kar."

I love how she said my name. "And I you, Muriel."

Ah, there's that smile. "So to continue..."

* * *

_A ten year old Muriel walks in the front door and takes off her shoes. She walks down the hallway and round the second door on the left, leading to the kitchen "I'm home!" She stops, seeing a large armored man and two normal sized officers in uniform. Charlotte was sitting across from them. "What's going on?"_

_"Come sit down darling." Charlotte pats the stool next to her._

_Muriel walks around the men and sits down next to the woman, unsure of herself and the people in their home. She looks to Charlotte, seeing the mascara running down her face and her rubbing her nose with tissue._

_"These men have something important to say."_

_"Miss Hendrickson?" The oldest man in uniform addressed to Muriel._

_"It's Gu-Zheng." Charlotte corrected. "Her surname didn't change when my sister remarried."_

_"My apologizes," The older man tries again. "Miss Gu-Zheng."_

_Muriel was unsure of herself on how to answer, "Yes?"_

_The older man stands from his stool and walks around the island. He stands in attention at Muriel. "I am Captain Richard Siemion of the United Nations Space Command, I like to give you my sympathies." He takes a light pause, "The Secretary of the UNSC regrets to inform you that your parents were killed in action yesterday on planet Arcadia, outer colony Procyon System ...the cause currently is unknown." His eyes flickers between Charlotte and the large soldier in armor. His eyes then look back at Muriel. "There is an ongoing investigation. Once the investigation is complete, you and your guardian will have full access to the report."_

_Captain Siemion remains silent. Charlotte rubs Muriel's shoulder, trying to comfort the young girl._

_Muriel slaps Charlotte's hand away, shocking everyone with the loud action. The girl did not cry, she wasn't upset, she was stoic. She was completely emotionless. "I have homework." She hops off the chair and walks to the second floor._

* * *

Muriel takes another drink from her cup, "The first thought that came to mind was, **they lied to me**." She takes a bite of salad, holding her free hand over her mouth as she talk and chew at the same time. "The last thing I heard from them was..." She chews a little bit and swallows, placing her hand down from her face. "...they were coming back home the week before the _soldier_ -human warrior came to the house. As a hatching, I didn't understand the entire concept of death and didn't know how to deal with my parents gone."

"Then how did you deal with it?" I take another bite of my my meat, liking my mandibles.

"I didn't."

* * *

_"I don't want to talk about it."_

_"You have to at some time." The man was a psychiatrist, dressed in the latest fashion with thick square framed matching glasses. "It's not healthy to hold all of your emotions inside." He talks with a soft voice, trying to coax the young teen._

_"Can we end our session?"_

_"It's may Muriel, and no we may not." The man sighs and leans in closer to look Muriel in her eyes. "At least tell me how your day was."_

_Muriel looks up to the ceiling, her eyes avoiding the psychiatrist. "Tedious."_

_"Muriel..." He spoke in a scolding tone._

_"You want to know how my day was -fine!" She sits upright from the chair and looks at the man. "All I did today was go to school, do school work, eat, drink, shit and piss. Just like every other living organism in this god forsaken universe! And -yes, I hated it, but it doesn't stop me from trying to live a life I never dreamed of having! Like the good little girl that I am!"_

_The man's clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable. "I think we should end our session for today. Please Kindly get your mother-_

_"Guardian." She corrected._

_"Guardian -inside. I wish to speak to her privately."_

_Muriel walks outside the room. Not a moment longer Charlotte walks inside, closing the door behind her. She walks over to the comforter in the room and takes a seat._

* * *

"I didn't know what the  _psychiatrist_  -healer said to her, but I know he convinced her to get me meet other people. Changed my entire life really. She transferred me to another school, located much farther from home. I came from a high ranking educational standing and down graded to a low standard schooling." Muriel takes a sip of her drink, "At first I thought my care taker couldn't continue to pay for my education. Until she explained to me that a different and more **chaotic** environment for me would be far more educational than an **orderly** one..."

So the humans ranking system in education is similar to our own then? Where those from a high ranking family or clan name receives the most out of our education, as those from lower status gain very little. Now I think about it, I do not know if I have seen a brother of lower status. I guess our species are more alike than I thought. I wonder if the humans are also trained in the art of war as much as my kind is, or is their a difference comparing our education? Muriel is an intelligent being after all.

"I'm guessing you want to know what the new school was like?" 

"Am I that obvious?"

"It's clear on your face..."

* * *

 _This_ _was all new to the young Muriel. The clothes, the smell, the people displayed around the school grounds. Even where the location of the school she wasn't familiar with._

_She was a complete stranger here._

_"Hey-new kid!" Muriel looks at the one calling our to her. "What'chu packin?"_

_Muriel answered honestly, "School supplies."_

_The group of boys laughed at her, making the young Muriel feel more uncomfortable. "You got smokes?"_

_"I don't smoke, and isn't smoking illegal for minors?" Muriel keeps her distance but doesn't move form her position._

_"Only if ya get caught." The boy leaves the group and walks up to her, a smirk playing on his face. "Wanna try?" The boy holds out his hand, revealing name branded cigarettes._

_Muriel shakes her head, "No thank you."_

_"Ya sure?" The boy tilts his head to the side._

_"Yes."_

_"'Ight." The boy shrugs, "No snitchin' though. You don't wanna end up with stitches."_

_Muriel was lost and confused of the boy's attitude and gestures, even more so with his words._

_The bell rings, and every child in the vicinity moves quickly from the school yard to the building. They were all students heading to class. Muriel, though is was her first day, already knew what class to go to. Her homeroom located on the other side of the building. She followed the flow of bodies in the school, like traffic during rush hours, Muriel just wanted to get to her destination as fast as she could._

_She reaches her classroom and stands in the front, not knowing where she will be sitting. The other students walk to their seats chatting up in the room, becoming a chaotic mess of noises and colors. Clearly there wasn't any real organization here, otherwise two of the boys in the room wouldn't be arguing over the seat that was closest to the window. The teacher walks in just when the second bell rings._

_"Alright, class has started. Get to your seats!" The teacher was a fat male with a lanyard and card key around his neck. "Jamar! To your desk now!"_

_The boy that started an argument, sucked on his teeth and walks to the back of the class. He sits in one of the three empty seats unceremoniously, jerking the chair slightly out of position. He was pissed._

_"You must be Muriel." The teacher looks at her._

_"Yes."_

_"Class this is Muriel! She is a new student, so be nice. That includes you too Stacy." He addressed a girl dressed in black and red, her face caked with black make-up, rolls her eyes. The teacher looks back at Muriel, "Go ahead and take a seat Muriel." The teacher opens his holographic pad._

_This threw Muriel through a loop._

_She wasn't used to being blown off so easily. She rushed to the back of the room and sits down next to Jamar._

_As the lessons continued on in class, Muriel couldn't help but compare the changes that happens so quickly in her life. In her previous school, teachers had taken the time to introduce students to the rest of the class as much as possible to get them comfortable. The seats were organized and assigned, clean not a scratch on the surface. The students were polite and caring wanting to get to know her in a kind manner. Everyone wore pristine uniforms, the academy's badge always stitched over the left breast. But this..._

_This was madness!_

_The students here are so different, always angry, clothes different and varies from one person to the next. The teachers always seem they were in a rush for something. Desks were decorated with filth and carving, varying in size and color. What threw her more into the loop was the teachers. She was much used to the teachers moving class to class rather than the students themselves, and timing for break periods were even weirder._

_"Hey." Muriel turns the boy next to her. "Name's Jamar."_

_Was that even a sentence? "I'm Muriel."_

_"Wur ya from?"_

_What's with everyone's accent? "Vanilla Hills."_

_"Oh, ya one-na doz rich peeps." He leans closer to Muriel, "Ya wanna know somethin'?"_

_"What is it?"_

_"Stick wit me. An' nobody wanna mess wit ya." He looks around and points at the front. "Stace' is one of those sadistic bitches dat will cut ya up if ya don't list-n. Last new kid had his shit stolen and got shank'd the next day."_

_Muriel looks at the female in black clothing leaning back in her seat. Fear starts to ebb around the edges of her mind._

_Lunch comes around and Muriel decides to eat outside away from prying eyes. She takes out her lunch pack and starts on her vegetables and fruit. It wasn't until she was halfway into her yogurt she sees Jamar coming around the corner. He sits down next to her._

_"Wats sup." He tilts his head in a quick up and down motion, eyes stuck on her. "Yo, I'm starvin'. Got anytin' to eat?"_

_"You didn't eat?"_

_"Yea, but Imma still hungry dough." He rubs his stomach._

_Muriel looks at the boy's action and realize he was thinner than he seemed. The clothes were large on his frame, hiding his true weight. With this new perspective, she can see that the clothes hung off of him like curtains. "You must have a high metabolism."_

_"A wut?"_

_Muriel reaches inside her pack and hands the boy her sandwich. "Here I don't eat meat that much."_

_They boy unwraps the sandwich and wolfs down on the food, two big bites had taken half the sandwich. "Why not?" He said with his mouth open._

_Muriel grimaces at the action. "I don't know. It always tastes funny to me. I can eat fish just fine, but not the other kinds."_

_"You vegan?"_

_"No." It surprises Muriel that the boy even knew what a vegan was._

_The boys shrugs, "Mor for me." He eats his sandwich again._

_"HEY!" Both Muriel and Jamar looks up and see a group of girls with Stacy leading them. She swiftly walks up to them, the other females swarming around her like she was the queen bee. "You got something I want." She takes out a switch knife, the blade clicking in place, pointing the end at Muriel._

_Muriel looks at her as though she was stupid. "No, I don't."_

_"Daisy." The girl named Daisy grabs Muriel by her hair and yanks hard. Stacy comes close with her blade._

* * *

"That's how the school was like." Muriel had already finished eating, placing her fork down on her tray. "After that I started to hang around Jamar-"

"Wait-!" You can't just skip over something so dramatic like that. "What happened after the female grabbed you? Did you fight back? Where you hurt?"

Muriel chuckles, her teeth showing. I guess I got a little too excited. "Well if you want to know."

* * *

_"YO BACK THE FUCK UP STACY!" Jamar steps between Muriel and her offender._

_"Stay out of this queer! Or I'll cut off your dick!" Two girls beside Stacy took a stand up to the boy, three against one wasn't good odds._

_Muriel stands up, Daisy still having a grip on her hair. "Leave us alone. We did nothing to you." Daisy yanks on her hair again, trying to pull her down, but Muriel stood still._

_"This bitch." One of the other females commented._

_A click of a blade was heard and Muriel felt something coming down her hand. She looks down her right arm and sees the blood dripping from her upper arm. When had that happen?_

_The wristband starts beeping loudly._

_"What the fuck?" Daisy commented._

_A girl comes running from around the corner, "They're over here!" She was wearing a yellow band around her body, signifying her as one of the students that helps monitors the school grounds._

_"Hall monitor! Scatter!" The girls go running, all running in different directions. Some of them jumping over fences and others ran around the corner._

_The teachers come running around the corner and chases the students down. The principle jogs up to Muriel and sees the blood. "Becky, go get an ambulance!" She addressed the hall monitor. She turns back around and checks up on Muriel, hissing at the deep cut. "Is there any others?" The woman looks in her eyes with fear and worry._

_"No, I don't think so." Muriel checks her wristband. A few seconds after checking, "No, just the cut on my arm."_

_Muriel was receiving odd looks from the principle and Jamar. "Are you okay?" The principle looks between Muriel and her cut._

_Muriel understood their distress and simply answers, "I have congenital analgesia. I can't feel pain." Muriel looks down at her arm and saw how deep the cut was. This was going to need some serious stitches. "I don't-_

_"Jamar, can you please escort Muriel to the nurse's office." The principle interrupts._

_"Yea, sure thing." He stares at the wound, "You really can't feel it?"_

_"No."_

_"Dats sick yo." He starts off walking, "C'mon."_

_Muriel follows Jamar, rumor went around about Muriel getting into a fight spread like wild fire before she was even picked by the ambulance._

* * *

"The girls got caught and was sent to _Juv_ -uh, child prison, but Stacy had went to prison for attempted murder." Muriel shows me her right arm. "You can still see the cut."

I look down upon her upper right arm and saw the light protruding scar, the mark far darker than her skin.

"It didn't heal right because I kept being reckless. The things that held the gash closed kept breaking off. It wasn't until the third time my care taker decided I get a _cast_...I guess you would call it a healing armor, to stop moving my arm." Muriel chuckles. " _Jamar_ kept asking how it was possible for someone not to feel pain."

"I still can not believe it myself." I spoke without thinking.

"You and Jamar both." Muriel hums, "After that I started to stay by Jamar's side and be there whenever we needed each other. I helped him study with school work and he helps me on streets, keeping me safe whenever I needed him. Next thing you know we are best friends. Us two trouble makers against the whole world. He became my addiction...a bad influence my care taker would call him."

* * *

_"Muriel what are these?" Charlotte was yelling, her voice can be heard echoing down the hall way. She was marching up the stairs, anger portrayed with every step. "MURIEL DA VINCI GU-ZHENG!"_

_The teen walks from her room. "What?"_

_"These grades! What are these?" Charlotte hold up the paper in the teens face._

_All you can see are red bold letter F's going down a straight line. Muriel scoffs, "You don't have to be so dramatic about it."_

_"Dramatic?" Charlotte's face was red now. "You listen here young lady. I raised you out of care for you and your mother -God rest her soul. I will not see your future tarnished over some boy. Do you understand me young lady?"_

_Muriel rolls her eyes, clearly not caring for what her guardian was saying._

_Charlotte seen this and was ready to explode with fury, but with a quick hesitance she takes a deep breath. "Don't listen to me -fine. But I will take you out of that school-_

_"You can't do that!"_

_-and will be home school until these grades go back to the way they were." She calmly folds the paper and tucks it in Muriel's black vest. "Think of the repercussions before you make bad decisions, otherwise you will only fail." She walks away, her dress spinning with the sass its wearer was showing. She walks down the stairwell and into the kitchen. "Your father will know of this!"_

_Muriel leans over the railing. "He's not my father and he's never even here!" She runs back to her room and slams the door._

_Charlotte opens a wine bottle and pours in the wine glass. "Carol darling, why is your daughter such a imp." She foregoes the glass cup and drinks out of the bottle. "I was never ready to be a parent."_

_Within a week Muriel had started her home schooling._

* * *

"I will admit, I was a horrible child..." Muriel sips her water.

"Someone as good as you?" That's hard to believe.

"For one to know what good is, one has to be bad first."

More words of wisdom. "How bad were you?"

* * *

_Two weeks into home schooling and Muriel was more then a rebellious teen, but a demon in disguise. She had been sneaking out of the house during the day only to come back late at night either to lay around the house or sleep. Not once has she touched her homework or even study for the tests. Charlotte even hired a professional K-12 home school teacher, but nothing good came out of it. If anything, it made things worse._

_It wasn't until Charlotte's husband came home, that things began to shift. The man had the patience of a Buddhist monk as he waited for Muriel to return home._

_The front door opens and then closes. "Muriel." She looks to the man's voice and froze. "Come sit down." His voice was authoritative._

_If there was a force that made Muriel feel, it was this man. She felt her body grow cold, shivering and shaking at his voice. The man's body from the sofa demanded respect. She hesitantly sits down across from him in the living room, unsure of how to deal with a force she was unfamiliar with._

_"Charlotte told me everything." Though his accent was still there, his English did not falter. If anything the accent made him more intimidating. "You will begin your lessons tomorrow and study. I will be here for the remaining month and keep a close eye on you. If you do not follow our rules, I will take full responsibility to discipline you. Do we have an understanding?"_

_Muriel can feel her throat dry, the saliva somehow turn to salt in her esophagus. She answered to the best of her ability, her throat choking, "Yes, sir."_

_"Go to bed."_

_She runs, skipping steps up the stairwell, and quietly closed the door with fear of angering the devil in the living room. She dressed for bed and lays down with the chill down her spine. "Fucking scary." She mumbles before she closes her eyes._

_The next morning Muriel dresses and starts on her homework, quickly picking up on the subject. She was half way done until a rock came bouncing off her window. She smiles, knowing it was Jamar._

_She opens the window and looks down the street, her friend standing on the other side of the road with pebbles in his hand. "Muriel!" He waves._

_She waves back, and then holds up a finger. "Hold on a sec." She grabs her backpack, phone, and skate board. "Come catch this!" Jamar runs across the road and catches the board and back pack. Soon enough Muriel climbs out the window and smoothly makes her way down the pipe line with practiced ease. "Lets' go."_

_They ran off..._

_Two bus rides and a single transit later, the two teens made their destination: The Downtown Park. Muriel was the first to greet the people at the basketball park, Jamar not far behind doing the same._

_"Wat's up my homies!" She complete secret handshakes with all the males and two females._

_"Wat's up Da Vinci!"_

_"Hey girl!"_

_"Wat took ya so long, man?"_

_"Had some work to finish." Muriel easily lies between her teeth, so believable it sounds as though is was truth. "But I'm here and ready to whoop yall's ass!"_

_"Please, not this time." One of the females retorted._

_Jamar comes up defending Muriel. "I'm sorry, what was the tally last time. Zero-to wat now? Zero-to wat now?" The other players scoff at them, sucking in between their teeth shaking their heads. "That's what I thought. That's..." He breaks into a little dance, "...what I thought." He shakes his head much like a bubble head. "-Nigga."_

_Muriel wouldn't touch that word with her life. "So we ready to play some ball, or what?"_

_The oldest of them, people call him Boots, sets up the teams. "Da Vinci, Sweet tooth, and Jordan is one team. Sour cream, Nike, and I one the other. Pepsi is ref today." Pepsi was the silent Asian college student sitting off to the side._

_Sweet Tooth smiles and pops her gum, "Macs verses Fems today, huh, Boots?"_

_"Bitch, shut up and go back to the kitchen." Jamar, usually called Nike when on the court, jokes at Sweet Tooth. "Go make me some sandwiches!" He waves his hand, shooing her off to go somewhere._

_"Nigga- I will, after you get a job and start paying some bills." She snaps her fingers. "Wit'cho broke ass." The others laughed._

_"Man whatever lets just play some ball man." Jamar couldn't come with a come back._

_Muriel just shakes her head. She stands in the middle against Boots, they both were team leaders. Pepsi held the ball in hand, whistle ready to blow. "Yall ready?" They just nod, no longer joking around and all serious. Pepsi tosses the ball and whistles, quickly backing away from the high jumpers but keeping his eye on the ball._

_The game begins._

* * *

"Why won't you tell me about this game you played?"

"It will take too long to explain." Muriel takes another sip from her drink.

"Who won then?"

"Jamar and his team did, but that didn't matter once I got home..."

* * *

_Muriel was laughing next to Jamar as they walked toward her home. They were half way down the street when Muriel noticed her bedroom window was closed. "Oh, shit..."_

_Jamar looks up and also notice the window. "You is busted."_

_"He's going to kill me."_

_"Who?"_

_"Her husband..."_

_"What's so bad about him?"_

_Speak of the devil and he will show, and show he did when the window reopen to reveal the man's face. "Inside."_

_Muriel didn't need to see Jamar shake, when she herself had felt frozen in place. As though the man had control over her will, she walks automatically toward the front door._

_"Good luck." She hears her friend's voice whisper, afraid the devil will overhear. Jamar walks away, his foot steps faster the farther he got._

_Muriel steps inside the house, shoes kicked off at the front door, and stops dead silent as she saw Charlotte's husband standing in the middle of the railway on the second floor. Charlotte herself was leaning against the kitchen doorway, her eyes judging Muriel._

_She has been put on trail and now she was going to to receive her sentence._

_"Your discipline will start at dawn." The man's grip was hard on the railing. "You disappoint me."_

_Muriel felt her inside empty and her shoulders fall. Her mind numb and weak. Just those three words destroyed her, both mind and body. Her shoulders sag, no longer hunching in fear. She can feel pain, pain that hurts more than anything she ever felt, and she never felt pain in her life. It hurts inside and all over. So this was what shame felt like? She feels disgusted with herself._

_"Go to your room. There will be no dinner for you." He continues to stare her down._

_Muriel kept her eyes to the floor and slowly makes her way to her room._

_How can one man she barely know have such an impact?_

* * *

"You are crying." 

She rubs her eyes, wiping away her tears. "Yeah, the memory can still hurt. I never...I never felt that way before, and thinking about it now...I realize..." She couldn't stop crying. "I can't help but think _Charlotte_ was right, and that I failed -badly."

"The first pain you felt was shame?" She didn't reply, still occupied with drying her tears. "You must have held some honor to feel such shame."

"In a way I did. I was the best in all my classes. I clean record, with no mishaps or accidents. I was one to be an idol to all the other students, but I couldn't take the pressure much longer and gave up on almost everything. I stopped studying, I stopped being the good student, and just got lazy. It felt good, so much I couldn't stop. It became my new addiction." She sniffs one last time, her eye lids red and puffy.

"I never felt shame. However, I can understand the hardships you were going through. My father wanted me to be just like our Kaidon, if not better." The memory still stings. "He told me I can never be like my blood brothers and sent me on my way to become Breeder of The Keep." The sting only makes me angry, I can feel my mandibles clicking together. "I was left behind, only left with my blood brothers' legacy overshadowing me constantly...day after day. It's why I left..."

Again I spoke without thinking.

"Aren't we _two peas in a pod_ -uh, alike."

Yes, "We are very similar." I smile and so does she. We started out with a chuckles then went into a full out laugh. "Why are we laughing?"

Muriel calms herself, a smile still on her face. "Stress relief."

"Laughing helps with stress?" I thought crying helps with stress.

"Yes, publicly displaying emotion helps relief any kind of stress when the moment calls for it. Laughter being the healthiest." She takes her water and sips some more. "Oh...bad idea."

"What was a bad idea?"

Muriel gets up from her seat, her movements odd and hesitant. "I have to use the -facilities. I'll be right back!" She runs, breaking off to a sprint. Or what I believe is a sprint for her kind.

I guess I'll just wait patiently.

I look around and again I notice the Spartans had disappeared. Their trays long ago disposed of. I guess I was engaged so much in Muriel's life story that I forgotten my surroundings. I peer around the room and notice the room to be nearly deserted, a few human groups sitting around and talking. The food guarded by glass was gone as well. Where it all gone, I have no clue.

The door to the _cafe-tea...cafe_...assembly room for eating, opens and closes. A man in white uniform followed by two different Spartans walks inside the room. He looks around and the human warriors stood in -what I guess, a solute.

" _Attention on deck!_ " One of the humans shout.

Two other humans run out from behind the glass barrier and solute the man in uniform.

What's going on? This man must be of a very high rank for the warriors to be saluting as they are. Where's Muriel when I need her? The man soon lays his eyes on me, we share a gaze. By the prophets and all that is holy! Where's Muriel?!

The man doesn't break eye contact, but he says something that allows the warriors in the room go back to what they were doing. However, all of the warriors' eyes pointedly connects with me. 

Has time frozen? I could nothing but stare as the man in white walks in my direction, his presence demanding high respect and authority. Is this how Muriel felt around that female's husband? If so, I truly do not envy her, for this is a far more frightening experience I have ever felt. He is so close now...What do I do? What do I do?

Where is Muriel?

The man in white stops before me, his gaze looks me up and down with expectance. His green eyes pierces mine with fire.  "J'kar 'Vadamee?" He takes off his cap, his head short of fur.

"Yes?" 


	5. I am unlucky...

"Yes?"

The human raises an eyebrow, clearly he doesn't understand what I had just said. He looks over his right shoulder to one of the _Spartans_ and spoke in the comm- _English_. The warrior speaks, his voice comes off with a semblance of annoyance, or I think it is. The warrior then takes one hand off his weapon and reaches for one of the brown packets around his waist. He takes out weird technology, a tiny thing shaped into a weird curve. He hands the device to the human.

The human places the device onto his left ear and a projection a appears between the two of us. "J'Kar Vadamee?" The projection comes up with the same words, my name written in Sangheili.

"That is my name." Again the projection writes out the words spoken in Sangheili. Then the words change resembling those of _English_. Interesting. That tiny device is a personal translator.

The human gives me a tiny smile, just a simple one that tugs at the edges. His green eyes stares at me, keeping me at attention. He speaks again, the projector translating the words, **'I am Colonel Herzog of the Office of Naval Intelligence. I wish to speak with you on a personal matter.'**

I don't know rankings when it comes to human forces. Given that this single human is guarded by two well armed _Spartans_ shows his importance. A high ranking officer with much experience yet not of those that could stand next to my blood brother Thel. Why would a high ranking warrior wish to speak with me? Odd and suspicious, yet I can't brush off the feeling that I'm in trouble. Trouble from what, I have no clue. "I do not believe I can be of much conversation."

Sangheili words appear on the projector as I spoke, then changes the words I've spoken into _English_. The male reads the words as I have. He continues,  **'Do you know what this is?'**  The male takes something out of his clothing. That device -it's familiar.

He holds the device for me to take.

I take the device in my hands, spinning it around and knew exactly what it was. It was a Secret Coder. When I was a hatchling, my blood brothers and I would play puzzling games, challenging our intellect, as we seek treasure and family artifacts around the keep to bring back. It was the former Kaidon who created these little devices. He would type in a sequence of coding, usually in pattern following years and words, tasking us young-lings to decipher the secret message by rearranging both the numbers and name with code. There are three ways to go about this. The first would be following the secret message in beats, counting the spaces and words in an order. The second way, would be to place a number between a certain set of letters, eliminating any two letters to make sense of the message. The third is the hardest, for one must do both ways in reverse order. Mother would always reward the victor with sweetened meat for solving the puzzle. Of course Thel would always win, he being the oldest and most intelligent out of us three. 

Usually the Secret Coder allows one to rearrange the letters and numbers as they see fit, but this doesn't have that feature. Yet, with the experience I've had, I can figure out the message without so much as touching the hologram.

I press the the button on the side and a hologram of a Covenant Assault Carrier comes up. I too recognize the ship, it is the _Seeker of Truth_. A Covenant Capital Ship and Flagship of the _Covenant Fleet of Particular Justice_ , the one my brother Thel 'Vadamee commands. A pattern of beats comes up- seven beats, a pause, two beats, a pause, four beats, another pause, and then twelve. The sequence of seven-two-four-and twelve. A double digit wasn't unusual, it just means you had to continue counting backwards once you reach the end. Looking at the hologram carefully, I spot the words **'Splendid Intention'** in Sangheili at the bottom. That's not the name of the Assault Carrier, so it's an obvious hint. The numbers- a year **'2100'** and clan name **'Vadamee'** were on the right side of the ship. That's not right, the clan existed before that year -before the San'Shyuum even existed to us. OH! Ah. You are a tricky one Thel...very clever. Only those who know the history between the Sangehili and San'Shyuum would know of the mistake in the year. That age was a time before the covenant, just when the two races meet. In other words **'Vadamee'** should be **'Vadam'**. 

Now, to decipher the message. Knowing the correct words- _Seeker of Truth_ and Vadam, in Sangheili. The sequence 7-2-4-12 and year 2100. I arrange the numbers between the lettering of the words, eliminating six pairs of unneeded letters. That would give me -coordinates and time. How far did I travel? I don't even recognize half the numbers. I must be beyond the system...uncharted territory. No- don't get off track. Focus-! Now again, using the beats and the corrected words **'Splendid Intention'** and **'Vadamee'** -no, that's not right...it's not in Sangheili, but _English_ -maybe?

 _H-U-M-A-N. . .Hu-man? P-L-A-N-E-T...Pl-an-et? Plan-et? Human Planet?_  The words _Hu-man Planet_ and a set of coordinates I don't recognize. Odd.

The male said something. I was so engage with the Secret Coder that I forgot I was with company. The words, **'Are you well?'** is displayed on the projector. He speaks again, **'Is something wrong?'**

That look on his face...He knows something... He has that look in his eyes. Just like that time when my blood brother Ripa had tricked me into fighting Lak. How Thel ever survived under that madness he called training is beyond I. However it was the trickery in that had hurt the most. I was too young to know I was being swindle into something I shouldn't have eagerly challenged. I learned the hard way to never trust that look. Now that I look back upon this meeting with this human before me...

I know what's going on. The human wishes to use me against my brothers.

I. . . I can't. . .

"I'm sorry I took so long." That's Muriel. I see her running up to me, her face a bit red -I guess from the exercise. "I had to find another facility to use. They were too busy cleaning the other one." She quickly turns to the human male and nods in his direction. Was that the human's way of a solute?

The human puts his finger against the device in his ear, turning the projector off. He starts to talk to Muriel in _English_.

Muriel glares, her shoulders hunched and defensive. Her tone held something heavy as she spoke, but doesn't yell. The male smirks and begins to speak but was rudely interrupted by Muriel, the words **Sangheili** , _oni_ , letters  _U-N-S-C_ , and _com-man-der_ I catch. These words made the male frown, I can see his jaw clench -he's irritable.

He says a few words and sticks out his hand towards me.

"He wants the device back." Muriel was very upset.

I hand over the Secret Coder and the male tucks it back into his clothing. He quickly turns around and marches off, the Spartans following after and leaving the _cafe-cafe...ter-iea?_ Why am I even trying?

I feel Muriel squeezing my arm and she turns to look at me in the eyes. For some reason they seem more brown then blue. "What did you tell them." She seems to panic.

"I told nothing. We merely gave greetings. " My guess is that the male wasn't someone to be trusted. "He showed me the device. I-

"Stop." She places her hand on my snout. Her scent is a bit different, not he warm milk and fruit I acquainted myself with, but a more musky scent. I've come to not like it. Not a moment longer she removes her hand. "Lets go somewhere more private." She grabs my hand and we once more make our way through the building.

We've reach the familiar crossing halls. I thought we were heading back towards my cell, however she takes another turn and I explore unknown territory. This section has a red tag line going across its wall. The further we go the more the scents change. The air becomes stale with hints of certain types of metal. The floor changes in texture and patterns, from linear to square like patterns. This section of the entire building was white and pristine, labels in human writing at almost every wall, the air thick with stale scents, and ongoing sounds of different beats. We turn another corner and I am faced with an entire assembly of humans. These humans were in uniform of white and grey -the majority of them were female- all of them moving quickly around the room. Only three remain stationary and sitting behind a work station with human data pads, eyes glued to the fluorescent blue hue. In the distance, I can hear machines at work, a constant humming with rhythmic beeping.

Muriel stops before a human female, she was taller with much darker hide. Muriel had said something that made the taller female shake her head.

A loud bang catches my attention and I look left. Two doors next to one another opens and a female with short yellow fur runs through, guiding three other humans dressed in green not far behind her. The three humans were running with a table of some sort, a human laying upon it and not moving. As they come closer, I realize the human on the portable table was bleeding, fabrics of white blotched in red.

I don't know what force got me to shift my eyes, but I left them drift up catching one of the three human's eyes. His skin pale and sweating, dirt and grime covering his entire face. The white parts in his eyes are tainted with red, the eye lids darken with color and puffy. His eyes a bright brown, only to look lifeless. I feel this...tightness in my chest, my breathing intense as my body is still and frozen, my mind rushes to find an understanding.

Though it was on a different face, I recognize that look. I can't place the emotion, yet I can understand what the male had gone through. 

They disappear through another set of doors behind the work station. We held sight at the last second, before doors severed our connection. The tight feeling goes away and tightening of breath eases. 

Now there was a taste in the air I couldn't identify, like it was tickling the back of my mouth and making it dry. The scent, a metal?

I feel something patting my stomach. I forgotten I was with Muriel. She and the tall female were still speaking. The tall female turns her eyes to me and gives me an odd look, I believe she's afraid of me. She nods to Muriel and waves her hand, a universal sign I've come to understand as 'to follow'. We take a different direction from when I saw those passing humans, going through another set of doors. We walk through a long hall with walls made of foggy glass and large windows, each with either a human or two caring for the ones laying down. I come to the conclusion that these were their healing chambers, or a place to ease one's suffering.

I wonder if they perform ritual healing or -what's the word- _medi-sin_? I doubt they would leave their own to die or fend on their own, as my brothers would do with our own kin if wounded in battle.

I wonder what human's do with their dead?

Muriel squeezes my hand to remind me of our present. We had came to a stop. I look forward to see a door. This door was different from the rest we've past. It's not white or grey but brown with the marking matching those of trees and a metal knob with a silver box beside it. The tall female takes out a tiny thin rectangle -a _card_! I learned that earlier from today's lesson- and swipes it over the silver box. A buzz goes off and the door opens. The tall female leans forward and opens the door to a small room. She speaks a few words, waving her hand in different motions. I caught _wait_ and _back_ coming from her mouth.

Muriel nods and says, " _Thank You_ ", to the human. As the tall female leaves Muriel tugs me into the small room, closing the door the moment we are both inside. I can tell she was nervous, scared maybe, yet definitely cautious.

"What's going on?"

Muriel takes a seat in one of the small chairs, her eyes not leaving me once. "Tell me what happened when I was away."

She ignores my question completely. It makes me uneasy. "Is there trouble? Have I done something wrong?"

She takes a deep breath. Her hands goes to mess with her fur, her fingers clenches in the long strands. She puts her hands on her face, dragging them down, then lets her hands fall to her legs with a loud slap. I don't think it hurts, but it was pretty loud. Then again she can't feel pain. I need to keep that in mind. "That man is trouble." Her tone is serious -direct. "He works with an organization of spies. They are called _Oni_ , or  _Office of Naval Intelligence_." She speaks the _English_ words slow enough for me to understand.

"Like Spec Ops-?"

"No-well, yes-but worse." Worse? "Think how Spec Ops work and how Zealots have power over lower ranking warriors. Even though _Oni_ work separately from the main body, they can keep information to themselves and only report to higher ranking -uh, warriors and other important humans. It even means they can betray one of their own, lie to us, sacrifice others, and...pretty much play dirty if it benefits them."

This is...a lot to take in. "Which warfare group do you work for?" I need to know my allies from the enemies if I am to make it out of here. Once more -this is survival.

"I don't work with either group -part of being a citizen, but my father is part of the _U-N-S-C_. So I am allied with them, not _Oni_." 

"Yet they both work for the same goal, do they not? Why the aggression?"

"No one but the people of this building, on this planet, knows about you." She leans back more into her seat, the gravity of her words tells me more than what she is hinting. "For the _colonel_  of _Oni_ to know about you, means someone here -in this building- told _Oni_  superiors. In other words, there is a spy."

Oh, that's bad.

I have no experience with spies, but I have heard enough to never trust them. An uncle of mine was a spy and try to be rid of our Kaidon. However their efforts were for nothing as Thel had caught on quick and ended his life. It had turned out our rival clan, the 'Panom clan, tried to frame our Kaidon by placing the death of sister Su'lavu 'Mdama upon his hands. She was to be married to my blood brother to help unite the two clans, but that hope ended when Koida 'Vadam had sent his assassins once Thel became Kaidon. Su'lavu 'Mdama died by needler to the back. She died the most honorable of deaths, to sacrifice their life for a young one. She would've been a beautiful mother and a wonderful sister to have. Thel loved her as she did with him. It was as though they already had been married for years. 

If only...I wasn't there...

I am so sorry...

It should have been me...

I shouldn't dwell on the past. "What am I to do?" I cross my arms over my chest. It's a habit I developed when I contemplate something on a deep personal matter. Or so my grandfather had told me many times...

"Just don't talk to them. Act like you don't know anything." She adjusts her seating and pulls her feet onto the chair, once more getting into that awkward position. She hugs her legs and sighs into her knees, her eyes close. "I need to get into contact with another person. Someone of a higher rank, but with enough time on their hands." She looks up to me, her eyes more blue than brown. "What did he want from you?"

I think about the decoder before I answer. I don't know if I should tell her what I found, but I wish to keep this to myself. Revealing the contents of the decoder would place my brothers in danger. The humans would lead a counter measure against their plans and tear through forces. Their deaths would be on my hands. But this is Muriel, surely she wouldn't tell the other humans -would she? No. She can be trusted. I do trust Muriel, but do I trust her with something this sensitive? 

I do not.

Behind enemy lines, this information is not safe. If I were to reveal the contents of the decoder, then the other humans -the _Oni_ \- would use me to their advantage and turn the war in their favor. I would betray my people, my kind, and...what would become of me? I would be dishonored -banished! My name scratched and erased from the records. I would become no one and nothing. I can't live like that. I can't let it get to that. I can't- I can't-

I won't tell her.

"The male wanted to know about the toy." The lie taste sour on my mandibles, my muscles tighten with every word.

"A...toy?" She must not believe me.

"Yes," Now to come up with a explanation. By the creators, I hate lying. "The device they shown me was a simple schematic model for young ones to learn about Covenant ships and their history. Fathers would secretly send them as gifts to their young ones and mothers would be the ones the give it to them." It's not a complete lie. "I used to have one."

"What happened to it?"

"My other blood brother, Ripa 'Vadamee, destroyed it after he...learned of my exploit." She gives me a questioning look. The one look when ask you to continue, but in silence. "I braved a journey where he had failed, and multiple times at that." Again this isn't a total lie as our games would always force us to explore the enter keep from top to bottom. "It's not my fault Ripa can't handle heights."

"He sounds like a sore loser."

"Only when it comes to his pride, otherwise he is quite level headed and lazy."

"Lazy?"

"He sleeps a lot." I chuckle, "You can have him settled on any surface and he would sleep there without question. There were times Thel and I would drag him out of bed and leave him sleeping on one the monuments just outside of the keep." We both laugh lightly at the thought. "Any time someone would comment on his hide color, he would blame us."

She laughs and I chuckle. This tranquility lasts only for a few moments, then silence taken over. We don't have much to say after that. Why silence always made things awkward, I may never come to understand. 

"You might want to keep to yourself."

What?

"From now on...try to act as though you only received combat training and everything else is just...meaningless to you." She looks to the floor, but still carry on the conversation. "Anything Covenant related -anything war related, you keep to yourself. You can speak about family but don't relate it to the war. Some humans already know about your bloodline and your relation to Thel 'Vadamee, but don't tell them of what he done during his campaign. From now on, you barely know your brother and just the breeder of the clan." 

"Can I not tell you?"

"No." She shakes her head and looks up to me. "We don't know who the spy is, and I don't want to risk it."

I guess I am to keep the secret to myself and remain silent about the decoder. This may just work in my favor, but it's going to bother me for a long time.

I feel something smooth touch my hands and ease my arms apart. Muriel is standing in front of me grabbing both my hands, her eyes gazing deep into mine. She has a small sad smile, "I can understand your conflict of being on two different sides." She caught that much, has she? "You know what the message said."

How did she-? 

"Don't say anything." Her eyes seem to become more blue.

The door opens to our room and we are interrupted by another human, a male with a yellowish hide. He seem surprise and halts in the doorway. Words falls from his mouth in rapid motions, his hands keeps pointing beyond the edge of the door.

Muriel laughs and waves at the male, she speaks politely to him.

The male smiles and waves. He leaves a second later, the door closing behind him.

"What was that about?"

She hasn't stopped smiling. "Wrong room."

"Why were you laughing?"

"Wrong room." She states it as though it was the most obvious thing to understand. One of her brows rises higher than the other, a smirk plays off her face. "Have you never been in an awkward moment when someone walks inside a room and catches you in an embarrassing position?"

Well...There was that one time mother caught me staring at my sex organ in the mirror. Another would be when I walked into the birthing room by accident. Oh yes, and that other time I caught my blood brother Ripa with another male. Now that I think about it, I seem to be accident prone to embarrassing moments. I wonder if this is healthy behavior or something that should be rectified. If I can fix it, that is. "I can say I had more than my fair share."

"The male joked about us finding a private place for...nuzzling."

Nuzzling? Now why would that be embarrassing? "What's embarrassing about nuzzling?"

"Well, how humans do it can be very...intimate." Her face shines a bit red. "A human would call it _making out_. It involves a lot of touching and bodes rubbing."

"I don't get it." I really don't.

"Good, because you don't need to." She turns around and heads for the door. It seems like she's trying to avoid the subject.

"I am curious." I follow her out of the room, the door slides close behind me. "Tell me."

"It's not important. It's a human thing --you wouldn't understand." She is avoiding the subject.

"I really would like to know."

"Hey, let's get back to studying!" She's rushing in her steps.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"It's not important." We're almost to the crossing halls.

"Just tell me." 

"No."

"I will not stop pestering you until you tell me."

She quickly turns around and hisses her words at me, "I'mnotgoingtodiscusssexualrelationswithyou!" Her face is completely red.

My eyes narrow, "Nuzzling isn't sex." I can feel my cheeks warming up a bit.

"Human nuzzling is close enough." She's flustered. I don't think she knows how red her face is.

"You didn't seem so embarrassed by discussing sex earlier."

"That's because I was speaking about myself. The human from earlier was talking about us being together -alone...in a room." She turns around and continues to walk, but I can tell she was completely embarrassed.

Wait...did she meant-? Oh my. I don't think that's physically possible. Unless we have similar physical forms, then... "Muriel, how does your kind reproduce?"

Why is she running down the hall?

"Wait -Muriel!" I chase after her.

 

We are, once more, sitting outside in the middle of the grass. I didn't get my answer about human reproduction. Instead, I continue my study in the common tongue. I am just about finish the starter level and now understanding the reading aspect of _English_ , but it is the pronunciations I have a hard time dealing. The _gh-_ lettering and pronounce confuses me, for the two simple letters can switch between a _F-_ sound and its original _gh-_ sound depending on the spelling of the word and placement of vowels. Then there were the ones of vowel-consonant-vowel. A few examples would be _finish_ , _page_ , and...what in ancestors' name is a _radio_? I feel a headache coming on as I struggle with this one word...It has a double vowel and a vowel-consonant-vowel. So does the double vowel take priority over the vowel-consonant, or is it the other way?

What's the progression beyond a headache? I think I just develop one.

"Having trouble?" Muriel sits next to me.

"This word is the bane of my existence." I scratch at my mandibles, the sensation of my claws against my hide calms me little.

I don't have to look over to know Muriel was smiling. I can hear it in her voice. "Well, your not the only one." She touches the projection and highlights the vowels. "Most of the time, us humans had to learn these bigger words the hard way." She then splits the word apart in fractions. "Try it now..."

It makes sense now, " _Hi-er-ar-chy_..?" A definition of the word appears after I pronounce it correctly...And I feel like a fool. I should know this word -blast it all! "What's worse than a headache?"

"A _my-grain_." She types in the word in the search box. The word along with its definition appears. 

 

**Mi*graine  /ˈmīˌɡrān/**

**_noun_**

**A recurrent throbbing headache that typically affects one side of the head and is often accompanied by nausea and disturbed vision.**

 

"Oh...lovely." I rub my brows, the affirmative throb just echos through my head.

"Was that _sarcasm_?" 

" _Sar_ -what now?"

Muriel once more searches another word.

 

**Sar*casm  /ˈsärˌkazəm/**

_**  noun ** _

** The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.**

 

"What's _ir-ony_?" 

" _I-ro-ny_." She corrects me and searches the word.

 

**I*ro*ny /ˈīrənē/**

_**noun**_

**The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.**

 

"What's-

"Look it up yourself!" She points to the search box. "It's the whole point of learning." She opens her data pad and goes back to doing what she had previously, but this time I can feel her leaning against my side. 

She's so warm.

"Fine." I'm not upset at her, just this raging in my head, or _mi-graine_ , beating against my brow. "I think it has gotten worse." I can't help but to keep rubbing at it, though I cannot touch it.

Muriel kneels before me and pulls my hand away. She stares into my eyes, the light reflecting off her makes me squint. "Yes, I think it's time to call it a day." She takes my left hand puts it on my face, covering my eyes. "Keep your eyes close, it will help with the pain." I can hear her shuffling, moving about on the red and white fabric. "I would give you care for the _migraine_ , but I don't know if you can take the stuff without getting sick." 

"Why would it make me sick?"

"It's a healing - _uh_ , substance that is purposely meant for humans. I'm not sure if you can take it without getting sick, or worse."

"Worse?"

"Death." Well, she didn't hesitate.

She grabs a hold of my arm. "Not to worry, I know a few home remedies that can help. I just need to get you somewhere dark. Let us go."

The walk wasn't long, shorter than the time it takes to get to either my cell or...I'm just going to call the _'food room'_. Just thinking about the correct pronunciation makes the throbbing worse.

We stop shortly before what I assume was the door. I can hear the familiar movement of sliding and machinery in the walls. We walk inside and she releases my arm. "Wait a moment." I peek through my fingers and saw her moving quickly around the room. She was tossing fabrics -clothing I assume, tossing them off to the side and fixing the oddly shaped bed. "Lay down." I did as she told. The bed fairly small as my hooves hang off the end. She rushes off the side and turns the lighting to a dimmer setting. "Don't leave, I'll be back." She leaves, the sliding door closing behind her.

I remove my hand, feeling the throbbing slowing down. I lay back further into the bed, the odd fluff cushioning supports my neck. I know Muriel said to rest, but the pain...I don't think I'll be able to get any rest.

Looking around the room, I notice all the bright colors. Is this what a human's bed chamber is like? Messy? Bright? Unorganizted? Odd decoratives? 

What caught my attention most was the energy weapon resting on a mantle upon the desk. With my training and experience, I know a plasma sword when I see one. It's a bit off -different, the silver handle had a guard with weird additional technology around he edges. I get off the bed for a closer inspection and notice the handle far more wider than the original weapons. I take the handle off the stand, feeling the weight...my thumb brushing the battery slot.

I wonder...

I activate the weapon-

"J'KAR-NO!"


	6. I lost myself...

I hear beeping... sounds of whispers. They are gathered somewhere... in the distance. The beeping, so close to my ear.

I start to open my eyes, barely catching a glimpse of a person as the bright light blinds me. "Muriel?"

"J'kar. Are you alright?" There's worry in her voice.

"What happened?" My eyes start to adjust to the bright light. Thank the Prophets that the painful throbbing had disappeared.

Muriel was sitting next to me, her hands caressing my left hand as her eyes wondered my face. I can see her blood eyes filled with tears. Her reassuring smile doesn't reach the worry in her eyes. "You fainted...from blood loss."

Oh, what? "I don't...I lost blood?" The last thing I recall was the throbbing pain in my head. Then a room, messy and colorful -Muriel's. Yes, there was a plasma weapon on a desk and I activated it...

Muriel gently guides my face with her hands to meet with her eyes. "I had to make a decision." What? "The healers had cleaned out your wounds as best as they could and used a numbing substance to stop the pain. You activated a unstable energy sword and it..." She takes a deep breath, her eyes quickly shifting between my face and what's on the other side of the bed. "You lost your sword hand."

My-?!

I look to my right and slowly lift my arm, the covers slide off as I see the bandages. 

"The plasma ate through your hide and...the healers had no choice but to severe your hand, or you would've died from toxins."

I remember now. Once I activated the sword, the blade had form then fell apart. The energy field that held the plasma encased shattered, resulting the substance to erupt. I recall the burning and Muriel yelling as she quickly dumped something -water I believe- onto my arm. There was blood everywhere. Blood on tile, blood on my robes, blood on her hair, blood on both our hands -just everywhere. My vision was fading when one of the Spartans had lifted me in their arms and rushed -running down white corridors. So much white.

"Parts of the arm is damage beyond repair. Some pieces of your flesh cooked and they need to remove it before it rots." My arm is rotting-? By my blood and that is holy, I'm losing my arm. "J'kar..?"

"Leave me..." I can feel the growl echoing in my chest.

"J'kar?"

"I said leave me!" She topples back and onto the floor with fear, tears falling from her face. She stands back up, but her eyes were down cast. "I'm sorry." She runs, the door sliding close interrupts her running steps.

She doesn't understand. I have lost my honor, my blood, my redemption...lost. My right was my dominant hand. True, I can duel wield but none of it matters if I returned home with such a scar. And father...he will hate me more for being such a failure. The elders would soon be rid of me than acknowledge I as one of their own, much less a Breeder. No, I would be forced to survive in the wilderness -alone, by myself and die to the forces of nature than rather in battle.

My name stripped off records.

I would be...nothing.

* * *

_He was back on Sangheilios..._

_Young and filled with energy, but old enough to start his training. He was eager to join his brothers and fight in battle._

_"No, J'kar!" His father Nul 'Vadamee shouts at him with a grunt, voice nearly echoing off the stone walls._

_"Why not? Ripa and Thel had already taken up the blade! Why not I?"_

_"You are not gifted in such terms as your brothers are. You are to be a Breeder and that is final!" He marches off only to stop for a short while to look over his shoulder. "If I ever hear you had taken up arms again, I will personally strike you down." He marches off again, this time not looking back._

_J'kar hisses and nonetheless obeys. He cast down his training sword, the metal clanking loudly against the stone. His brothers are at war, while he himself was home -useless. He feel the need to cry, but he can't do it here. He leaves for a more private area._

_He now sits at the edge of the plateau, his hooves dangling through the air as he stare into the river below. The rushing winds threatening to push him off, deafening to the ear._

_"Hello there little one." J'kar quickly turns around to see a large Jiralhanae. His gravity hammer taller than him and his face covered in white battle paint. "You planning to fall? Would be a waste of good meat."_

_J'kar hunches his shoulders, unsure of himself. "No."_

_The brute frowns."You cry?"_

_J'kar wipes his tears. "What concern is it to you?"_

_The brute laughs. "You got fire. I like that. Fit for a warrior." The brute trudges closer, he uses is gravity hammer as a staff. "Tell me, why is it you are not taking arms?"_

_J'kar opens his mandibles, only to close them. He looks back over the plateau, "One of the elders wishes for me to become Breeder of the Keep."_

_The brute laughs, "You-? Breeder of the Keep?" He continues to laugh, "A Savage Blood, Breeder of the Keep?"_

_J'kar was confused. "What's savage blood?"_

_The brute calms down. "You don't know? They are your ancestors boy. The one's that be no better than my kind, and far more dangerous than any warrior. They were known to even match the greatest of Arbiters and to kill those that stood in there way. Said to be mindless beasts when angered, and admired warriors when calm. It be a shame to waste such potential." The brute was smirking, smiling almost._

_"Why are you telling me this?"_

_"Hm?" He brushes his beard. "You are a smart one. You will be a force to reckoned with." He takes a seat next to J'kar, careful not to fall off the edge himself. "Your mother contacted me to train you in secrecy."_

_"Mother?" J'kar looks over his shoulder, hoping to at least see if she was there._

_"Yes," He grins. "She wanted me to ensure your happiness. And seeing what I had witnessed earlier, I'd say she was right."_

_"You saw..."_

_"Everything. Come." The brute gets from his spot and walks with his hammer. "We have a lot of catching up to do."_

_J'kar, excited and without questioning, follows the brute._

_"We will start with the basics."_

* * *

I open my eyes and look around the room. It was night, that much was evident of the stars and moon outside the window. When had I fallen asleep? I cannot recall.

I shouldn't have gotten angry at Muriel. She doesn't know of my Savage Blood. Of what I am capable of...

It would be best if she didn't come back...

* * *

_"We are done with basics. Now what do you wish to learn little one?"_

_J'kar had finally passed his master's test, having to know what it means to_ _survive and what it encounters. He was proud and was ready to take on the next challenge. "I wish to master the art of two swords!"_

_The brute laughs, "Is that so?" He reaches behind his waist and takes out a real plasma sword. "Here!" He tosses the weapon low enough for J'kar to catch. "You are to learn everything that makes the sword as it is. From the handle to the blade itself."_

_J'kar activates the sword purring at its magnificence._

_"But first..." He slams his hammer down, sending J'kar back on his rump and the plasma sword far from him. "You have to learn how to fight without it."_

_J'kar gets up, his legs feeling slightly numb from the impact. "Yes, teacher!"_

* * *

I wake this time to food. There is meat on a tray not far from me. I reach over-oh, right....

I lost my right hand.

I will have to use my left then...

* * *

" _Good-! Keep it up!"_

_J'kar goes for another punch, the brute blocks it and goes for a strike of his own. J'kar dodges, knowing well from previous experiences how hard his teacher can hit. J'kar then kicks the brute in the stomach, his hoof meeting solid muscles that was the brute's abdomen. The brute laughs and back hands J'kar, sending the young-ling skidding across the stone._

_The brute grunts, "That's enough for now!" He turns his back to hear a deep bellowing snarl. It wasn't the kind of normal snarl, but a life threatening one. A signal of a predator ready to kill. The brute turns around in time to see J'kar leap at him, aiming for his throat. His mandibles and claws bared out to sink into flesh. His eyes maddening wide, as his pupils were almost non-existent. The brute easily grabs the young-ling by his throat and squeezes gently, causing the young Sangheili to freeze in fear. "You're better than this little one. Learn to control your urges before it manifests."_

_J'kar starts to calm, his eyes re-dilating and his mandibles coming to a close. "Teacher..? What just-I didn't mean to -I..."_

_The brute releases his student crossing his arms. Crossing his arms he looks to his student, "This will not be the last time this will happen. That was your Savage Blood calling to you. Whenever you feel excited in battle or blind in anger, do not lose yourself. Focus your mind and know your surroundings. This was one of the many reasons why your mother wanted me to teach you. Now, do you understand?"_

_"Yes, but...What if I can't-_

_"Control it?" J'kar nods. "Then utilize it and allow your blood to flow rampant through you. But...DO.NOT.LOSE.YOURSELF. Or you will be a true savage."_

_"As you say teacher."_

_"Good, now go back to your studies before that old lizard finds us."_

_"Yes, sir!" J'kar runs back to his studies, sneaking past guards and silently traversing the Keep grounds._

* * *

It's been two days...

I haven't heard from Muriel. 

I wonder if she will ever come back. I miss her company.

I want to apologize, but I don't know if I am allowed to leave.

I'll just wait until one of the healers come back, then I'll ask.

* * *

  _J'Kar was struggling again with his Savage Blood. The need to feed, the hunger for battle, the desire to tear into flesh, and the calling. Just voiceless sounds echoes throughout his mind, blood rushing, overriding his senses, forcing him to forget. "Teacher-!"_

_"Keep fighting little one, you must learn how to do this on your own." The brute was slowly munching on a piece of meat, teasing the young one's savage side to come out._

_It was all part of the training._

_J'kar's claws digs into the stone, his body hunches over as his mandibles clicks and grinds against each other as the young-ling struggles to fight his opposing side. "Teacher-it's..." He snarls deeply, glaring at the flesh in the brute's hands. "No!" He was panting, fighting. "I can't-teacher!"_

_The brute grunts in disappointment and walks over the the Sangheili. He places gentle pressure, pinching on the back of J'kar's neck and lifting him off the ground. J'kar freezes on instinct, his body to return to calm. Once calm, the brute drops J'kar. "It is not that you can't, but you won't."_

_J'kar stands up, rubbing his rump from the abuse. "I'm sorry-_

_SLAP!_

_The brute leans forward, glaring. "Never apologize for who or what you are. Accept it! Embrace it...the only thing that keeps you alive is yourself. What was the first lesson I taught you?"_

_"Survive."_

_"And who do you rely upon your survival?"_

_"Myself."_

_"Never forget it. Especially when you are alone." The brute munches once more on his meat. "Now...again."_

* * *

There's a knock on my door, or at least the edges of it, for the Spartan had already made his way inside the room. 

It's been three weeks since I last seen Muriel...

I have been keeping up with my studies, learning more English as time went on. It has gotten to a point where I can make small conversations with a few humans. Not all of them like to talk to me however.

 _"How you feeling?"_ Isn't there suppose to an _are_ in that sentence?

I frown, " _Nothing has changed. Did she reply?_ " The words come out a bit harsh. I have to open my mandibles more to pronounce the words correctly. Otherwise the _Spartan_ would laugh at me and point out I sound like I was drowning.

The spartan sighs, " _No, sorry_."

" _I see._ " I sigh as well. " _Maybe it is best..._ "

The Spartan rubs my shoulder, a sign I come to learn as 'comfort' and 'ease'. " _Try not to beat yourself too hard. I'm sure she'll come around._ " The _Spartan_ gets up to leave, a somber look on his face. " _My partner and I are leaving tomorrow for our next mission. You want something before we head out?_ "

I think upon the man's offer. " _I would like some more chocolate, if you don't mind?_ "

" _Sure thing. Just...hang in there._ "

I just nod.

I watch him leave my room in silence. This used to be Muriel's room. Her scent no longer lingers here...

All except of the sweet scent of milk and flora, which I had come to learn came from her _lotion_.

* * *

_The brute grumbles, rubbing his face._

_They had tried, tried, tried, and tried again. Yet they were no closer than where they had started. Day after day became the same routine; J'kar would tease his Savage Blood calling it out to harness it, only to fail once more in the end. The blood being too strong in the young Sangheili._

_"Teacher...maybe it's something I'm not seeing...or understanding." J'kar fiddles with his claws, his head lowered._

_"You need a mate." He mumbles._

_"Huh?"_

_The brute drops his hand and shakes his head. "We will continue this another time. Let us start on the next lesson." He picks up the plasma sword and hands it over to J'kar. "We will now start your sword lessons."_

_"What of my Savage Blood?"_

_The brute hesitates. "Old tales told of the savage ones only able to control their blood once they mated. You're not old enough and I fear that might be the case for you."_

_J'kar frowns but nods in acceptance. "I will try my best."_

_"Not try, do." He picks up a plasma sword of his own. "Now, get into stance."_

* * *

I have found myself in a comfortable routine. I would study first thing in the morning, learning much on English on the first few hours. When afternoon comes around, I would meet with the _doctors_ that wished to understand my _physiology_ -quite a mouth full- and _psychology_ -another mouth full- most of which like to strike a conversation with. Afterwards, I would be given a break to eat in the _cafeteria_ -that is right! I know how to say it now!- but most call it the _mess hall_. Quite understandable for how messy it gets at times. I would try the different assortments of food the humans would hand out, from _mac 'n cheese_ to _biscuits and gravy_. Mmm... _biscuits_. Of course there would always be a guard or a _doctor_ of some sort ensuring I don't get food poisoning. I also mastered using my left hand, so no worries there...

After eating, I would work out in the training rooms. Some of the humans in there took a liking to me when I told them about my name and what it meant. I'm starting to understand their sense of humor. _Washington_ even more so, as the _man_ was more open about his opinions than most. _Angela_ hated me for obvious reasons, but she gotten used to my presence over time. Their group were called _ODST_ s, or _Orbital Drop Shock Troopers._ They made it obvious they had their fair share of the frontal lines.

It wouldn't be long until the doctors would call me back and started their examinations once more. They seem to be more fascinated by the _whiskers_ , or _spines_ on my back and shoulders. I wonder if there are any humans with Savage Blood?

After all the _ogling_ , I would be sent back into my room and remain there until I start over the next day. I usually would end my day with _chocolate_ treats and human _fantasy_ _books_. The Spartans advised I read something called _Jurassic Park_ by _Micheal Crichton_ and _Grimm's Fairy Tales_. To say I did not like the first story I read from the _Grimm_ book. It left me wondering how dark and evil one's mind can become. That was until I read _Jurassic Park_ part way through, and had to go for the _dictionary_ every once in a while. Call me lazy, but I'd rather read the book of horror than _repetitively_ go back to the _dictionary_.

I'm sure Muriel would mocking me about it being the process of learning.

It's been five weeks...

* * *

  _J'kar swings his blades, the plasma swords moving gracefully through the air. His steps more precise than ever before, hoof after hoof, swing after swing, all of it was a dance._

_"Lift your elbow, unless you wish to cut off your own head." Of course his brute teacher was always there to correct his mistakes. "Strides-! Not steps-! You have to get closer to the enemy!" Always..._

_J'kar lifts his elbows and extended his legs further, the movement still feeling a bit off._

_"Raise your head, don't slouch!" J'kar did as he was told. "Lift your knees-! What did I tell you about your elbows?!" J'kar did as he was told, correcting himself with each step and keeping in mind of his mistakes. "That's it! Keep at it!"_

_J'kar can see them, his enemies. There was one on his left two on his right, and three behind him. He had to act fast! He spins around going for the three behind, kicking the middle as he simultaneously stabbed the other two. He quickly decapitates the one he kicked and head for the two. They had guns aiming for his head. He holds his blades blocking the shots, then with swiftness he leaps over them and slices through both of them ending their lives. Now, there was one left._

_His teacher nods in approval. "You ready little one?"_

_"Yes, teacher." J'kar gets into his stance._

_The brute takes out his own plasma swords. "Good. Don't disappoint." He made the first move stepping forward with a slash._

_J'kar saw it coming and steps to the side. The brute saw to this and thrust with the other. J'kar parries with his left and slashes with his right. The brute blocks the strike and steps back, grinning. They walk in a circle watching their opponent, their blades at the ready. They stopped, this time J'kar making the first move. He steps forward, feigning a left strike from is right. The brute saw the strike and steps out of the way. As planned J'kar twist his wrist and changes the angle of the blade to a horizontal strike, followed soon by a vertical from his left. The brute was still grinning, blocking both and kicking the youth in his chest. J'kar stumbles but he doesn't fall, his blades still gripped tightly in his hands._

_"You're getting sloppy."_

_J'kar get back into his stance. "No, you're just smarter."_

_"Very perceptive of you little one." He changes his stance slightly. "Now, what would you do then in this situation?"_

_Good question._

_Then J'kar gotten an idea._

_He runs up to the brute and swings wildly, forcing his teacher to takes a few steps backwards. J'kar then places more pressure to the left side, forcing the brute to go right. He then drops his swords, turns to his left and grabs the gravity hammer._

_"Oh, you clever-_

_J'kar smashes the hammer down sending his teacher on his rump and disarmed. The brute slowly gets up, rubbing his own rear end. J'kar was grinning, large gravity hammer threatening to tip the wrong way._

_Smiling, the brute walks over to the young Sangheili and patted his head. "That's enough for today. You passed, yet you still have much to learn." He grabs the weapons, tucking the energy weapons away from sight, and grabbing firm of his gravity hammer._

_"What's there to learn?"_

_The brute frowns. "Truth."_

* * *

I have to say, a human's fashion sense is not far off from our own. Their cotton jackets I find most comfortable and warm, especially in this _God-forsaken_ weather. The greenery I can understand, but rainstorms? All that water makes me wonder how long it will take to flood this place. Definitely not that long given how the _street_ was flooded minutes after it started. Ugh. I miss the sun.

" _Sup there Godzilla_!" And there's _Washington_. It took me a few days and a bit of questioning of what a _Godzilla_ was. I'm kind of flattered honestly.

" _It's raining._ " I frown. He knows I'm not fond of the cold.

" _Not your type, huh?_ " 

 _Washington_ has this habit of turning everything into a sex joke. " _Coming from a planet of two suns, no._ "

" _You're lucky, this is all you get. The North is much worse._ "

" _Worse?_ "

 _"Yeah, Typhoons_ ," He ticks them off his fingers, " _earthquakes, blizzards, tsunamis, tornadoes. All the catastrophes you can think of."_

Right..." _On second thought, this is the most loveliest weather -ever._ "

He laughs, " _Yeah anyway. I came here to give you this._ " He holds out a large pile of letters with stamps, all wrapped in a single rubber band. " _Turns out your female friend decided to write back._ " I reach for it, but he snatches it away just as quickly. " _What's the magic word?_ "

I sigh, " _Please?_ "

He hands it over, grinning. " _Let me know if there are any juicy parts._ " He winks, " _Later_."

" _Pervert._ " 

It's been two months...Muriel.

* * *

 _Thel has returned. A short break from his campaign against the humans was rewarded to him after receiving the title of Supreme Commander, the greatest of honor bestowed to him by the Prophets. He walks through the Keep, adorned in his new armor as guards left and right bow to him. As much as loved the attention and audience, there were only a select few he truly wanted to see._ _Only he didn't expect this..._

_"Now, cut a slice of cheese -and not too much." J'kar severs a small amount. There was a female next to him, overlooking his shoulder as she prepared the rest of the meal. "That's good. Now place it on top of the meat."_

_Thel walks into the kitchen with a smile. "You living up to your name, J'kar."_

_J'kar glares. "I'm putting poison in yours." Thel just laughs as he reaches over and steals a piece of meat. "HEY! Food's not ready!" J'kar swats at him._

_"I'm Kaidon. I'll do as I please."_

_"I'm Breeder of the Keep."_

_"And?"_

_J'kar grins. "Your not allowed to see your wife."_

_Thel frowns, "That's not nice."_

_"Stealing's not nice."_

_"Hn." Thel smiles, "You've picked up the sword, how's your arm?" J'kar frowns and turns back to the cutting board. "J'kar?"_

_The female answers for him. "No one wishes to train him, Kaidon."_

_"Why?"_

_"Everyone is afraid of me." J'kar pouts. "All because of some superstition."_

_"Well, it's not entirely superstition if there's truth." Thel leans over his sibling, "Give me one." He opens his mandibles._

_J'kar puts a piece of meat in his brothers mouth. "No more, or you'll spoil your stomach."_

_"Who told you such lies." Thel mocks him, slyly reaching over..._

_"There no lies if there's truth." J'kar grins._

_Thel pokes J'kar. "You're too smart to be J'kar. You must be an impostor." Thel slips his arm around J'kar and grabs a plate._

_"No, I'm-HEY!" Thel rushes out of the kitchen. J'kar not far behind._

_After a bit of chasing and tussle, both brothers sit over the plateau, gazing over the horizon. A plate of meat was shared between the two. Thel had taken off his helmet in favor in feeling the suns on his hide. "So, you going to tell me where you got those bruises? Or do I have to use rank?"_

_J'kar slows his eating pace and looks to the side. "Father had the teacher beat me."_

_"J'kar..." Thel warned._

_"I'm sorry-I'm sorry." He finishes his treat, "I forget you don't know who's our father." He takes off his top, the suns' rays highlighting the dark bumps on his flesh. "I skipped out on my lessons again."_

_"J'kar..." Thel shakes his head._

_"I don't want to learn the common tongue." He pouts crossing his arms. "I see no use of it."_

_"What if you were stranded alone. How would you know what others would say? What would you do then?"_

_"I'm never leaving Sangheilios, not to mention the Keep itself."_

_Thel could see a frown on his face, their eyes not meeting as J'kar always preferred to avoid eye contact when speaking. Thel could tell J'kar was depressed, his emotions will force him to do things he normally wouldn't. Or was it already too late? Thel didn't want his sibling to suffer, especially...after their uncle, Arbiter Ripa 'Moramee, died. How is J'kar going to take it?_

_"Yusew is getting big." Thel hears J'kar speak quietly. "I'm proud of my little nephew. Your wife done wonders into raising him."_

_"J'kar-_

_"I know..." He doesn't look up, his eyes set on keeping on the horizon. "...I know what's going on during the war. What happened with uncle Ripa...and what the Prophets are truly. There are nothing more but liars and thieves."_

_Thel yanks J'kar by his arm harshly. "You will hold your tongue, and never speak of such blasphemy!"_

_"You're no different." J'kar stated his eyes piercing his brother's. "Do you, brother, follow so blindly into death?"_

_"You have a coward's heart." He growls._

_"I'd rather be a coward than a fool!"_

_Thel stands with J'kar in his hand, his grip growing tighter. "Then let me teach you what we do with cowards."_

* * *

I read through all of Muriel's letters in one night. Turns out she kept receiving my letters, just that the _UNSC_ takes its _beautiful_  -sarcasm, love it- time to give clearance. After I shouted at her, she forgave me but had to return to _school_. She felt bad about leaving without notice, but her career was at stake and had the choice of continuing her education or staying behind. She wished I had forgiven her for making the choice.

The next letter spoke much of how she graduated and finally started her work. Something about electricity, flesh, and bone all connected to the brain. I'll admit I didn't understood certain words, but I understood she wanted to be part of the _UNSC_ as a _doctor_. It will take years until she's in a comfortable position in her career, but will be visiting soon by the third month.

The third letter came with pictures. The photos were of her and some of the food she ate, notes on the back gives dates and what had happened during that time. Reading the letter, she learned how to make every dish she took pictures of so I can have a taste of what its like. There were a few others she couldn't take pictures of, the batteries running out forced her to give grand details in the letters. The  _Iki-zu-kuri_ seem delectable. I can't help but lick my mandibles in thought. The humans' different cultures are known for their spices and flavoring. 

The forth and fifth letters are written in _English_ , and wishing I was there to see the sights with her. Even congratulated me on making friends without help.

The sixth one was short for it only had a new address, the approximate date of when she'll arrive, and "with love" at the end. She's off planet, completing her career.

It's been two months and one day...

Just two more weeks...

* * *

_J'kar's entire torso was covered in scars and welts. The healer only cleaning the wounds and leaving him to his fate. The Kaidon was ruthless...His mother more so after she learned what had happened._

_Thel never spoke to him again after J'kar's punishment._

_"So...little one decided to fight? And the Kaidon no less." J'kar turns his head to see his the brute. He was sitting next to the door, arms crossed._

_"Teacher..?"_

_"Remember what I said about survival little one." He stands up from his seat, gravity hammer in hand. "It applies when you're home as well." He leaves the room, "Training begins in a few hours. Don't make me wait."_

_J'kar pushes himself up, his arms shaking as he did so. He kicks his hooves over the edge of the bedding. He walks out of the healing chambers, determined with every limping step._

* * *

" _Well, it's healing just fine._ " The doctor looks at the old wound. 

" _How much longer until it...stops healing?_ " My _English_ still needs work.

" _Hmm...At this rate...I guess another two months._ " He pushes up his glasses, leaning in closer.

My _numb_ -as the _ODSTs_  jokingly called it- needed new stitches. The pain medication helps me sleep at nights, but I no longer need of them. " _That's fine. It amazes me how my body can heal from such a accident._ "

" _You think this is amazing? Just wait...you're in for a surprise._ "

" _What surprise?_ " This can't be good.

The door slides open a man in white uniform enters. He takes off his hat, a gentle smile is directed towards me. "J'kar Vadamee-

" _It's_ Vadam," I grow tire of the Covenant, " _but you can just use my first name._ "

"J'kar, _then_. _I wish to give you an opportunity. One, I'm sure you may be willing to try._ "

" _This entails...what exactly?_ "

" _We can give you your arm back. The process is completely experimental and-_

" _I'll do it._ "

The doctor speaks up this time, a bit concern dances on his face. " _Oh, don't you wish to think about it some more. Give it some thought._ "

" _What is the likelihood of death?_ "

" _None_."

" _Then I'll do it_." I'm not passing this chance.

* * *

_"J'kar the Female!"_

_J'kar turns around. A smile lights up on his face as he saw his second oldest sibling. "RIPA!" He charges and hugs his elder brother, nuzzling into his shoulder._

_"Ugh-! You're fat!" He falls to his knees, over exaggerating upon the young Sangheili's weight._

_"Liar!"_

_"It's what I do best." He sets J'kar down, his smile not once leaving. "Now where's our fearless leader?"_

_J'kar frowns._

_"Hey, why so sad little female." J'kar doesn't speak. "That bad, huh?" He uses a single finger to tip J'kar's head by the mandible. "I brought treats."_

_"You did?" J'kar smiles again._

_"Of course. After all, you're the only female I would ever care for."_

_J'kar crosses his arms. "Did you get another male to mate with?"_

_"I won't tell, if you won't." He holds out the treat. J'kar snatches the brown strip of food. He eats his treat, a few snapping sounds can be heard from his munching. "When did you get scars?"_

_J'kar stops eating. The food in his mouth somehow became bitter. "The...Kaidon."_

_"Anything else I should know?" J'kar doesn't speak. "Bastards." He was growling, his teeth clicking. He takes a deep breath, remembering to stay focus. "Come. I want you to meet a friend of mine. He will be staying with us for a while."_

_They head out to the back of the keep where a lone white brute Chieftain stood, clearly bored. "Chieftain Tartarus, this is J'kar. J'kar meet my friend Tar-_

_"Is he your new mate?"_

_Tartarus laughs, at the stun look on Ripa's face, his grip lessening on his gravity hammer. "The whelp knows of your shame."_

_"It's not shame if I continue to do it."_

_"Then why do you hide?" The brute was clearly teasing._

_"To keep my list of enemies low. It's the smart way to go about it. Speaking of," He gently pushes J'kar up front. "I need you to take a good look at him and tell me what you think."_

_Tartarus sets his hammer off to the side and picks J'kar by the scruff of his neck. "He's tiny."_

_"And..?"_

_Tartarus sniffs, "He smells..." He looks to Ripa. "Is he-?"_

_"He is."_

_"He's tiny."_

_"So were you."_

_He snorts, "You expect the impossible."_

_"I expect possibilities." Ripa shrugs, but grins. "I hoped a chieftain as yourself could teach him. Show him how to...adapt."_

_Tartarus looks at J'kar again, snorting. "I'll do my best. You owe me after this." He throws the young Sangheili over his shoulder and walks to the outer walls of Vadam Keep._

_"Ripa!"_

_"Don't worry J'kar! Be nice to Tartarus! You won't regret it!"_

* * *

" _Time!_ " I look up at _Washington_. " _Two minutes and thirty seconds. Not bad_."

" _That was slower than last time._ " I grab onto the railing, climbing out of the _pool_. The _chlorine_ I hate, but it does serve its purpose of keeping the _pool_ clean. Ever since I heard the humans had a place to swim, I was itching to take a dive. There is something about moving in water that makes me feel comfortable.

" _Well, you have been at it for about an hour._ " He was silent for a while. I could tell he had a question ready to ask. " _So...where did you learn how to swim?_ "

" _I was taught by a brute chieftain back on Sangheilios. My kind isn't known to swim, but my blood brother Ripa thought it would be a good idea to help keep my mind off things_." I look down back at my numb, the end was covered by a _rubber swimming cap_ and it's strap to keep it closed. The doctors thought it would be a good idea, seeing as I will be kept out of water after the...experimental process. " _I'm ready for another._ " I walk over to the edge, positioning myself in a crouch.

" _Don't exert yourself. I can't perform CPR with all those teeth you have._ " He jokes. 

A smirks plays on my face. " _I also don't swing that way._ "

" _You asshole. Go!_ " I hear him start the timer before I hit the water.

* * *

_"J'kar!" A female shouts as she quickly moves about. She was worried, anxious as she searched. "J'kar!"_

_Thel leaves his bedroom in time to stop her. "Mother what's wrong?"_

_"I don't know-I don't know. He missed his lessons again but I can't find him anywhere. I searched the plateaus, the kitchens, the offices -everywhere!" She takes a deep breath, trying to get her panic under control. "He's not even in his favorite hiding spot."_

_"I'll have the guards look for him. You just keep looking." His mother nods as she went back into searching._

_"J'kar! J'kar!"_

_Soon the entire Keep was looking for one Sangheili. Banshees were flying over the buildings to get a better view, guards lifting every item, as their Kaidon was close to panicking himself. Little did they know J'kar was in the lowest of catacombs. His brute teacher holding up a lantern was a few steps ahead of him, guiding his pupil lower and lower, deep into the darkness._

_"_ _We'll train here." He sets his hammer off to the side and takes off his arm guards. "From now on, we will train in darkness. No more light."_ _He turns off the lantern._ _"Allow you eyes to adjust, then we will begin."_

* * *

There's one week left, and two more letters came in.

The first letter mostly was her reaction about my decision upon my _cybernetic_ hand. The implant didn't take long, just the _configuration_. My right side feels heavy, but the _doctors_ ensures me its about the same weight, as I had gotten used to losing my hand. This being the _setting_ of the experiment. The real experiment was placing some sort of _fake flesh_ over the mechanic parts to make it seem real. All of this being a true learning experience. She didn't seem upset, just unexpected. She encouraged me to continue _"as long as I felt comfortable"_ for the _science_ meant helping humans who lost their limbs and wish to live a normal life without judgment.

Her second letter came with three boxes of _chocolates_ and four _Valentines' day cards_. Each of them have a note saying, _"Don't forget White day"_. I had asked the others what _White day_ was, and was told it was a day for males to return gifts to their _counterpart_ females. And _Valentine_ was a time were close relatives and loved ones share affections through gifts.

I've been wondering what kind of gift Muriel would like.

I hope _Angela_ is willing to talk...

* * *

_Lost...in darkness._

_When his teacher said train in the darkness, he didn't think the brute would've abandon him. Though, it is not the first time he did. How the large male left without making a sound was a mystery, with his large hammer gone and dressed in full plated armor. His scent lost among the dead. His own small hoof steps echoes throughout the catacombs, the stone hardy and battle worn. Old metal armor and skeletons of warriors litter the place, as fallen enemies' remains are used to decorate the walls._

_J'kar remembers old tales of the warriors of old. How they take their enemies and feed their flesh to their slaves, as their bones were broken and crushed to commemorate their glory. Made into weapons, armor, jewelry, anything their craftsmen can get their hands on. The larger the catacombs, the greater the glory. The warriors that contribute to the glory had the honor to be buried in coffins, fully adorned in armor with weapons over their hearts. Yet with rivaling clans destroying each other constantly, their graves were destroyed and treasures stolen to aid the killing of others._

_It was also the time when the Savage ones came to be. They were once the slaves forced to eat flesh of the fallen -cannibals, as their masters placed them in holding cells. Farmed for their colorful scales and hide. Before that they were once clans that lived in the forests and ocean coasts, at peace with one another with plenty of resource to go around. Their colors allowed them to blend with their surroundings._

_J'kar stops, staring at the crush skull on one of the warriors. His helmet and battle harness stolen, broken metal weapon pierce his chest. The coffin he lays next to displays his want to protect this place. The coffin open and remains torn apart. Grave robbed. J'kar continues deeper, stepping over the fallen dead and scorned._

* * *

I sit before one of the _doctors_. She was holding a _flashlight_ up to my eyes, "Hm..." She turns off the light and brushes her finger against my hide. " _You...are molting._ "

" _-molting?_ "

" _You are getting rid of old skin -and scales, to make room for new growth._ " She scratches her fingers over a few of my scales, the feeling on my neck gives me great relief. " _Is this your first time?_ "

"Yes." She takes her hand off my neck and make notes of her data pad. _"I seen little about...molting, but heard it was long annoying process._ " I scratch my shoulder, the sound a bit similar to that of my claws against carpet.

" _Hmm...I'm going to get Doctor Schmidt._ " She walks out, data pad in hand.

I scratch my shoulder and leg at the same time. " _I hope this last less than six days._ " It would be embarrassing if Muriel would to see me in such a state.

* * *

_It was getting cold._

_There was no heat, the long dark halls made sure of that. The deeper J'kar went, the more remains of the warriors of old littered the floors. Useless and broken weapons were left behind and impaled in bodies in certain ways, silently telling tales of had happened. A single skeleton still has its helmet and battle harness, an out-dented symbol buried in dust pops out against the smooth armor._

_It was the old 'Vadam clan, long before the covenant. They were the ones who invaded the catacombs. The ones who stopped those of Savage Blood. Before the 'Vadam, there were the 'Moram, then the Varuna, then 'Vadam again, and finally the warriors of old. The Shee'nari._

_There was not much on record of the Shee'nari, but what they had done became legend. The warriors of old used their slaves to fight in their smaller battles and participate in death arenas, betting who would be stronger. After the slaves were plucked of all of their scales or survived the skinning, they would be put into training and forcibly bred to create stronger and loyal warriors. The newborn young would go through the same treatment as their parents; cannibalism, harvesting, breeding, and then training if they survived. A dark cycle that lasted generations, bending the will and inbred of blood made them savages._

_Once the 'Vadam invaded and killed off the Shee'nari, they used the slaves to their advantage. Guards of the keep while the warriors of the clan were away. The female slaves raped and bred, all children fatherless and forgotten. Yet the 'Vadam never harvested them of neither hide nor scale, seeing it as a horrid practice._

_Then the land and keep was sold to the Varuna, who quickly fell to the 'Moram. The 'Moram saw the savages as exotic slaves to be breed for fornication only, mixing and blending the blood with their own. This gave them power. Males, born under 'Moram females, quickly gain strength and power among all Sangheili. Their hunger for blood and instinct to kill never left, and had grown with the freedom they earned._

_The other clans saw the benefit of the savage ones and tried to steal slaves of their own, but they all failed. In retaliation, they begun slaughtering clans. Names once known were destroyed and wiped from records. Along the slaughtering came the devouring their dead. Their actions caused fear to spread, forced clans to unite and joined to fight against such force. They had earn the name Savage Blood when one, Xaral 'Moram, had raped and killed an Arbiter in cold blood, then wore his flesh as an act of disgracing one's honor._

_The 'Vadam clan did not see the Savage Blood as a simple threat, but as demons scorching the earth. With their new alliance with the San'Shyuum and advanced technology in their hands, the 'Vadam clan came to end their reign as Savaged ones were gunned down. Their keep taken and lands claimed. The rest of the 'Moram clan fled with only a few at the time still held Savage Blood in their veins. 'Vadam later became 'Vadamee, and the covenant formed._

_Now here he is, J'kar, a descendant of the Savage Blood and future Breeder of the Keep._

_J'kar frowns._

_His fate is...mysterious._

* * *

" _Were you always blue?_ " 

I stop scratching to look at _Washington_. " _My blood is blue._ "

" _Yeah, but..._ " He leans forward and drags his fingers over my new scales. " _It was light brown three days ago._ "

" _I'm molting_." Shouldn't it be obvious.

" _I guess it's blue, then turns brown?_ " 

" _I'm not sure myself. This is my first time._ " I scratch at my waist. I can feel something loosening under the touch. I look down and see a large patch of hide slightly peeled around the edges. " _I was told to keep moist so dead flesh would fall off easier._ "

" _Yeah, you're also gonna need rough surfaces to get to hard to reach places._ "

" _Doctor Schmidt said rubbing against trees and large rocks would help._ " I look to _Washington_ slyly. " _Or...a helping hand from a friend?_ "

Washington raises a brow, a facial queue of him understanding my hint. " _I'm willing to help, but...nothing below the waist._ " He points to my genital area.

" _Just between my shoulders._ " I reposition myself, my back facing _Washington_. In seconds I feel human claws scratching down my spine, the dead flesh loosening with relative ease.

" _Are you purring?_ " He slows his actions

I check myself and the noise I made. " _So what if I am?_ "

" _Oh, it's nothing_." I can imagine him smiling. " _Little kitty_."

" _What's a kitty?_ "

 _Washington_ just laughs.

* * *

  _J'kar stops and listens._

_There's a whooshing sound._

_The sounds of steps rushing in the distance._

_He rushes closer to the sound, a smile on his face for finding his teacher's hiding spot. Upon inspection, he sees a crack of light in the distance. He rushes over, peeking through the crack as he squats near a corpse. He smells the river and squints past the blinding light._

_"Have you found him?" It was an elder, adorned in robes as the cane in his left held him up._

_"No sir. The child has seem to vanish. The entire keep is looking for him." It was a female dressed in common servant clothing._

_"Then keep looking! Find the Savage Blood before they do."_

_"What if they do find him?"_

_"Then I will send assassins as distraction. You are to kidnap him at night. Be gone!" The elder waves his cane, dismissing the female._

_The female rushes, her hooves picking up pace as she leaves._

_"You see how important you are." J'kar flinches and turns to look behind him._

_He meets a familiar pair of eyes. "Ripa?"_

_"I've been spying on Counsel Elder Dea 'Lavanee for some time now, and you more."  He looks around, checking. "Where's your brute friend?"_

_"Hiding..." J'kar doesn't hesitate, knowing that Ripa knew of his teacher._

_"Why?"_

_"We're in training. I'm suppose to find him before sundown."_

_He hums thinking. "Do you trust him?"_

_"Yes."_

_He hums again. "I'll leave you to it then." He turns to leave, his steps nearly silent against the stone. "Your steps are too loud. He can hear where you're going."_

_Ripa returns to the keep as J'kar continues his hunt...silently._

* * *

" _So pretty..._ "

I sigh. This was the sixth time I heard this. " _You said this._ " I scoop up rice on my spoon. I wonder how this would taste?

" _You're so shiny..._ "

This was the forth time I heard this. " _It is the result from my molting._ " I bite the rice and...it taste really plain with an interesting after taste that makes it a bit sweet.

" _Yes, but-but...do you even look in the mirror?_ " I look over my plate and glare. Washington eyes seem to stay glued to my hide. " _You're like a large shining pearl_."

" _I feel insecure with these words you spout._ " I grab for my water, still feeling parched.

" _It's like looking at a snake._ " My glare hardens.

" _C'mon Wash, leave the kid alone._ " _Angela_ comments, she waves her cup around with a smirk. " _But you are colorful._ "

" _My colors will change by next week. My hide will be much thicker and scales tough. Although...certain patterns may remain._ " I grab the ketchup and pour some on my rice.

" _Oh my God!_ " Washington leans in closer to my face. " _You're keeping the stripes?!_ "

I scoff. " _It is not as though I have a choice._ " Hm...there's something missing for this rice. The ketchup is not helping.

" _Right-right but...Ah!_ " He is a little too excited. " _Can I touch?_ "

" _No_." I growl.

He frowns and shoulders slouch.

" _Does the kid know you have a reptile fetish?_ " _Angela_ was still smirking. Though I am the same age as her she still calls me _kid_.

" _It's not a fetish!_ " He blushes. " _I just loves reptiles._ "

" _This, I know of._ " He told me during the second time we have met. " _His flirtations made it obvious._ " I've caught onto human humor. It's quite...addicting. It has an appealing charm to it.

Washington full out grins. " _Unlike your girlfriend._ "

" _Oh, yeah. She's coming tomorrow isn't she?_ " Angela speaks into her cup.

Muriel...

" _Yes, and I have her gift. Thank you again Angela._ "

" _Don't mention it._ "

" _You finally going to ask her out?_ "

I stop leading my chicken to my mouth. I had this conversation already yesterday. " _Again. What makes you think she's even interested in me. Let alone...in that way._ " This is not mentioning the difference between races.

 _Angela_ and _Washington_ share a look, smirking. What are they thinking..?

 _Washington_ was the first to break eye contact. " _You will see..._ "

I shake my head as I grab the mustard. _Angela_ flinches. " _I recommend putting that down and mixing the chicken with rice and beans._ "

" _Wow...you guys really don't have seasoning?_ "

I glare at _Washington_ , it is becoming a common occurrence. " _We don't eat vegetables._ "

" _Not all seasoning are vegetables._ "

I took Angela's advice and mix the chicken with both beans and rice. " _The majority of your seasonings -to my understanding- are related to vegetation._ " That will shut him up.

" _Doesn't mean you can't experiment._ " 

I open my mouth to reply, but came up empty. " _You have me there._ " I go back to my meal. By the ancestors..! " _So good._ "

 _Washington_ laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do a little researching on the Halo Universe and how plasma/energy sword works. Did you know that plasma is a state beyond gas? Weird right? I mean, think of lightening. So cool!


	7. I found myself...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:  
> I'm making this a thing where I input one part of a single chapter and then come back to extend it. My hands are full, and I barely have enough time to make an entire chapter like I usually do. I haven't received any negative reactions for it when I did the last chapter, so I'm just going to continue to do so for this one.

I couldn't sleep.

I've been wondering around in my room, finding some way to past the time until I tire. Only, my mind never is. To say I'm filled with utmost energy to get rest. That I am _restless_. I read some _books_ , bath, clean my room and had finished reorganizing the entire place. It is cleansed - _spotless_ , to be sure. Only my scent and human cleansing ointment fills this room. All for this...

...because of Muriel.

Muriel is coming...

She's coming back.

Will she be any different? Humans do age fast compared to my kind. I hope not too old. No, her age doesn't matter. Will her color change? ...her eyes?

Blood Blue Eyes...

Her soft skin...smooth... similar to washed stone carved my ancient rivers.

 _Hair_ made of silk, changing beautifully in earthly colors whenever light touches it. It flows like waterfalls during the oncoming warm season. Rich and dark in color...

Gentle...

No. I can't.

Don't be fooled -she's human. A tiny...fragile thing. I'm Breeder of the Keep, the over-looker of both female and young. I am destined to marry a female to unite clans. Start a family on my own. I am not to diverge from my path. The clan needs me.

They need me.

* * *

_"Breeder of the Keep ...requires true loyalty to the clan. You are to ensure every female plays their part in providing young." The old Sangheili looks throughout the room, his movements quite slow. "If a female is not providing, you are to ensure they are. As Breeder, you can take any female of your choosing and breed. You are to protect them. Help them nurture their young and provide where they can't. As you know, we are at war doing the Prophets great honor in preparing for the Great Journey!" He walks slowly across the room. "We are..." he coughs, "...to ensure not to disappoint our Hierarchs with any lack of dedication."_

_J'kar frowns. "Why I?"_

_"You would not have to ask that question if you had tended to your studies." The old male scoffs._

_J'kar frowns further._

_"I'm getting old. And not any younger either." He gives up looking, taking a seat at his desk. "You are..." he coughs again, "...the last of the Savage Blood under the 'Vadam name." He takes a deep breath, his body shivering. "With your blood, our clan will be stronger-than ever. Our warriors strong and fearless."_

_J'kar walks closer to the desk, standing just before the elder Sangheili._

_"It is why the Elders chosen you. You...are what we need. By the time you come of age, Breeder of the Keep will be my former...title. As I will serve a greater purpose teaching you all that I know." He remains silent for a while, clearly thinking. "The clan need you. Not of your blood alone...but of the power you carry. It is why rivaling clans...wouldn't dare trespass our gates, let alone our state knowing there is Savage Blood on our side." The elder sighs, "However that fear goes both ways." He places his hand on J'kar. "The truth is..."_

_J'kar looks up meeting the elder's eyes._

_"...The Kaidon -your blood brother needs you. For when he falls-if he falls, it will be up to you to protect his legacy and your family. By that time, the clan will need you. More than ever. You already know your father's plans for the clan." He releases his hold, slowly nodding to himself._

_"I do and...it is never to be spoken."_

_"Good." He nods his head. "Good. And always remember..."_

* * *

The clan needs me.

Such arrogance.

Father only wanted me for power. Power to feed his greed for more power.

It's why the clan merely accepted me -tolerated me. All for father.

Even here I am under his influence.

Far...from home.

 

I don't want to think about. Such thoughts carry too much emotions. Emotions of hatred...anger.

A snarl escapes me and I am frightened. Scared of letting the blood take hold. I need to calm myself...

I must not lose myself...

I must not lose myself...

I must not lose myself...

I must not...

Ancestors-! I want to...

I must not...

* * *

_"J'kar."_

_The young Sangheili turns around and see the Kaidon -his blood brother, Thel, walk over to him slowly. He was still in uniform, decorated in yellow and black armor from top to bottom, plasma weapons in both hands inactive. He stops shortly before him, his eyes shifting, fidgeting._

_"Yes Kaidon?"_

_Thel frowns as they made eye contact. "I know...I have...I..." He takes a deep breath. "...I am...sorry."_

_J'kar's eyes widen, surprised at his brother's confession._

_"I have stepped out of line...lashing out on you when you didn't deserve it." He kneels down on one knee, getting to J'kar's height. "I have been under stress both from the war and...home." He sets the weapons down and grabs his brother's hands. "You...are what keeps me...steady, in control. You are what inspired me to become..." He takes another deep breath. "Do you remember, when I left for war for the first time?"_

_J'kar blinks, thinking. "I said...to come back...with honor. When yo do, I will follow you as both leader...and blood brother."_

_"That is right." Thel smiles, a playful gleam in his eyes. "And you promised to make me aunt S'lea's special dessert."_

_"I did not!"_

_"Hm." He hums thinking. "I could have sworn you did..?"_

_J'kar takes his hands back. "Well, aunt said it was a secret. I'm only allow to make it during the cold season."_

_"What if I teach you how to use the blade?" Thel holds up one of his plasma swords. "The proper way, as my teacher taught me." He gently places the weapon in J'kar's hand._

_J'kar stares, holding the familiar grip and metal bar. He feels the subtle heat of the battery underneath the cover. "You...are not afraid..? Of me..?"_

_"Why would I be?" J'kar looks up. "You are of my blood. As well as my son, and Ripa, and mother... That makes us all Savage Blood, does it not?"_

_"I never...thought of it that way..."_

_"I always have, and never forgotten it since." Thel stands upright a smile on his mandibles. "Come, I'll teach you."_

_"Uh..." J'kar looks down at his studies. "I need to finish my studies first."_

_"Come meet me when you're done then." Thel leaves smiling. "I will not wait for long."_

_J'kar quickly turns back to his studies, working as quickly as he could._

* * *

Washington and I are rushing through the building, making our way to the landing platform. I can see the doors...the sun's light shining through the glass and its metals frames. The _pelican_ -as Washington informed me- will be landing with Muriel inside. I can see the machine, slowly turning to face the opposite of the door.

" _Godzilla -HEY! WAIT!_ " I slow down looking back at _Washington_. " _You can't go through those doors._ "

" _Why not?_ "

He taps the collar around my neck. " _It'll trigger. Shock you 'til you can't move._ "

I touch the contraption around my neck. The thick long smooth strap circling around my neck. I circle it until my hands reached a single metal box on the back, thick and pronounce compared to the strap. Of the duration of my time here I've gotten used to it. Almost forgotten it entirely. " _I am not to leave?_ " Of course not, I'm still a _prisoner of war_.

" _Not unless the war is over._ " He shrugs, " _Just wait out in the hall. She'll get here._ " He nods his head towards the door, smiling. " _It won't take long I bet._ "

I turn back to the doors. Watching the ramp slowly touch the floor...

* * *

  _J_ _'kar walks through the halls leading to the training room. He slows, seeing his brute teacher leaning against the pillar just outside the room. His hammer no where in sight. "Little one..."_

_"Teacher." J'kar bows a little acknowledging him._

_The brute walks slowly, he steps a bit quiet. He leans down whispering, "No one is to know..." He pats his students shoulder and continues to leave._

_J'kar knew what his teacher meant; his training must be remain a secret. He continues walking into the training room, conflicted. Wondering in, his eyes register the room and allow in familiarity of the room. He sees the weapon racks lined up against the walls, the seats and small chairs on opposing sides for audience to watch, and the large brown mat covering the majority of the floor for warriors to train on. What he didn't expect was the room filled with warriors three times his age as well as his siblings. A few mothers off to the side, their young watching the warriors._

_"That's enough!"_

_The warriors stop fighting, all at attention at both the Kaidon and Swordmaster._

_Thel waves his hand, "J'kar come."_

_He makes his way across the room, passing the warriors. They were all glaring, small whispers heard about his blood. Mothers in the distance take hold of their young in fear. He avoids eye contact, only facing forward as he creeps._

_The Swordmaster speaks loudly, "Clear the floor." He turns to Thel. "It is yours Kaidon." He leaves the floor taking a seat alongside the other warriors._

_J'kar looks up watching his brother. He wasn't wearing anything besides of the garment around his waist, covering his male side. "Let us see where you stand." He picks up a long staff. "Here," he hands it to J'kar, "copy my stance and take your defense." He stands ready, hands up and hooves apart._

_J'kar looks at the weapon in hand, nervous. He copies his brother's stance. He gets into position, then stops...remembering what his teacher told him. He does subtle movements, changing body language to that defining weak._

_Thel frowns but nods, "Come at me."_

_J'kar raises the staff-_

* * *

I see her!

She's waving at me, smiling as she grabs her bags, lifting several straps over her shoulders. I want to help, but I can't leave the building.

The doors slide open, I hear clicking in time with her steps. Closer, I can smell a different fragrance, like _strawberries_ but...smoother and...calm. It fits her. The clothes she wears are more like the  _doctors_ that tend to me, _examine_ me. The air of her is more proud, as though honor were her crown and cape -the very thing she breathes. Like Thel...

She stops before me smiling. Her little teeth a pure white. Fur - _hair_ , clear of her face and pulled into that familiar tail. Her skin still pale, and her eyes...Her blood blue eyes are shining. Happy. "J'kar." Her smile grows. " _You gonna help me with these?_ " She lifts a bag. " _It's really heavy for someone so weak. Just the job for a big strong guy like yourself._ "

Was she always this... _sarcastic_? No, I don't that's the right word. More of...being...deceitfully playful in a harmless way.

" _Is that literal or rhetorical?_ " I answer, grabbing all of her bags.

She nods her head smiling her fullest, " _You mastered the art of English. Nice!_ " Her tone is very playful, not like the way she speaks formally in Sangheili. " _Now I don't have to tumble around, second guessing myself -and feeling stupid._ "

"You're not stupid." I can't help but speak Sangheili to her. It just...clicks when she's around.

" _Hi, I'm Washington._ " Ah, I forgot he was here. Damn. " _But my friends call me Wash, or in Godzilla's case here -Weirdo._ " He sticks out his hand.

Muriel shakes his hand, and nods, " _Muriel Da Vinci Gu-Zheng. Close friends avoid the last name. And Godzilla...really?_ " She lets go laughing a bit. " _Am I to run in fear or praise in awe?_ "

" _Wait_..." He points to her. "... _you're Japanese?_ " 

" _Part Japanese. My mom is every white ethnicity of European and American descendant. Dad was a literal ninja. A uh- Ya'kuza member who she had the one night stand with._ " She frowns a bit. " _ONI stuff._ " She shrugs.

" _Couldn't tell. You look more Mexican or-or Portuguese than Japanese._ " He scratches his head nervous. " _I'm actually Irish-German._ " He indicates to himself, placing a hand on his chest.

" _Half_ _breed_ ," she nods, " _you don't see those anymore._ "

" _Well pure breeds are legendary._ " His tone play on the last word to indicate something. Something of that I don't understand.

They both laugh. Was it a joke?

She turns to me, her smile returning. "Shall we go?" She speaks in Sangheili.

"Do-

" _You know where you are staying?_ " Did _Washington_ interrupt me? -Rude.

His interruption doesn't go unnoticed by Muriel, if her facial expression is anything to go by. Her smile no longer reaches her eyes. " _I'm rooming with Godzilla._ " Oh-no, not the nickname. Not her too.

" _Oh, wait -what?_ "

Wait -what? " _We are sharing a room?_ "

She looks to me. " _I'm not staying long. Just for the summer. Then I have to get back to schooling._ " _Schooling_ isn't a word...Maybe? ...Is it? Is _schooling_ a word?

" _College?_ " Very rude.

" _Yes, I'm concentrating on biological science and chemistry, also psychology. Right now I'm debating on whether I want to get into physics or pre-med, but I'm thinking physics thanks to covenant weaponry, Sangheili Anatomy, and forerunner technology. Which I have more experience in than any other med student._ " She huffs. " _Every professor was lining up to me trying to get information out of me. Practically signed my name in their classes without my permission. Bunch of_ _weirdos_." Agreed. _"Anyway, I might just take the easy route and get my Bachelors. I already have a position waiting for me in UNSC but my father disagrees. he said 'don't be another Halsey, be yourself'. So I just might become a Prosthetist. I even thought about -_ "

 _"Wait- I'm sorry, a what?_ "

He doesn't know..? " _A prosthetist._ " I wave my mechanical hand around. " _They work on prosthetic. Fake limbs in replacement of missing ones._ "

" _You know that word?_ " His face shows of judgement, but I know he means no harm -just a bit jealous.

" _I learn from what I experience._ " I look to Muriel. " _Shall we go?_ "

" _Lead the way._ " She waves her hand.

We walk side by side. _Washington_ trying his hardest to keep conversation with Muriel.

She wasn't interested in the least.

It makes me happy.

* * *

_"STOP!"_

_Elder Nul 'Vadamee marches onto the practice mat heading straight to J'kar. He snatches the weapon out of the youngling's hand and starts the beat him with it. Hitting the poor thing between every word, "What -have -I -told -you -about -bearing -arms!"_

_Thel stops the next swing grabbing the staff. "That is enough Elder!"_

_"Stay out of this Kaidon!" He snatches the weapon back. "This...thing," he points, "knows not to bear arms! I commanded it and instructed every warrior here: Do not not let him handle weapons!"_

_"So you would beat him to death? A defenseless-_

_"You know as well as I do that he is not defenseless."_

_"He is not of age!"_

_"He is Of SAVAGE -BLOOD!" He shouts loud enough to silence the room. He stalks closer to the Kaidon growling, "I see no problems in teaching him a lesson. Do you Kaidon?" He whispers the next words meant for only Thel to hear, "I gave you your position just as easily as I can take you out."_

_J'kar looks up, stunned at what he heard. The Elder -their father- threaten to replace their Kaidon! All because of him? Thel-? He did nothing to receive such dishonor! It was all his fault...Thel wouldn't have need to protect him if he had only listen! It was him at fault, not his brother! He is deserving of punishment. If not of disobeying the Elder's command, then to protect their Kaidon._

_"You dare-_

_"I'm sorry." Both Elder and Kaidon look to J'kar. "I disobeyed and knowing of this I...accept all punishment." J'Kar was shaking. He is afraid. But he has to be strong, brave for his brother. His Kaidon will not take his blame. It was his fault, and his alone. No one else's._

_The Elder smiles at Thel, knowing he'd won. "He knows his place. As should you." He glares at J'kar as he points to the ground. "Bare your back and bow." J'kar did as he was told, shedding his shirt and leaving his torso bare. He gets down on his knees and bend until his chest touched his knees, placing his hands forward and looking only down to the floor. Nul looks from J'kar back to Thel smiling, "Do you still wish to stop me Kaidon?"_

_Thel could only stare, watching. He face blank and emotionless, but his eyes shift quickly over his sibling's form. His mind racing, wondering -where has things gone so wrong? Why was this happening? His hands clench and unclench wanting to do something -to stop this._

_Nul had taken the Kaidon's silence as of acceptance and turns to another warrior, "Get me the whip." Whispers quickly spread as the warrior -just as surpised- went to fetch the weapon._

_Thel growls, "Are you mad? Have you finally gone insane?"_

_"If my words will not reach then wounds will." Nul takes the whip from the warrior and observes the leather rope. "Seems fitting...for Savage Blood."_

_"Then I will take his punishment." The room goes into an uproar as Nul shakes his head. "His hide is still soft and the thickest of scales is only around his neck. He's not even trained! The whip will only destroy him."_

_"Why do you care? He is not your son."_

_"Is he yours?"_

_Nul was silent for a while. "No, yet I am his keeper."_

_"I can take it."_

_"Stand down Thel." Ripa walks up in full uniform, grabbing Thel by his arm. He whispers to his older sibling, "Do not let your emotions cloud your judgement brother. You are Kaidon. Act like it." He turns to Elder Nul, slowly releasing his sibling. "The Elder knows better than to do any permanent damage to a youngling, regardless of background. It is law, is it not Elder Nul?"_

_Nul growls understanding the underlining threat. Any bodily damage that can't be recovered from or outgrown, reasonable or not, is punishable by death in the same act or nature as the young one had experienced. This is according to only 'Vadam state law. "Of course." He gently handles the whip in his hand, getting ready to swing. "May I commence, as I was...interrupted?"_

_"Come brother," Ripa coaxes Thel, "not here."_

_Thel walks off with Ripa, not once making eye contact with anyone else. They exit the training room, made their way down the hall, and even left the building. J'kar seen this, but nothing can distract him from the snapping leather tearing through his flesh. The screams that were forced from his lunges, etched in his mind, and crushed in his hearts, destroys him. It echoes down the hall with every pain he had to endure. The knowledge of his brothers powerless and leaving him to bleed onto the training room's mat, staining its brilliant red with his own deep blue blood from sheer abuse, leaves him cold and empty. It will haunt him. Forever branded into memories._

_He is alone..._

_...and he had enough._

* * *

" _Home sweet home!_ " Muriel looks around as she walks in. " _I can see you haven't change the room. Much._ " She checks the dressers and drawers. The little clothing I have are folded in only the first drawer of the first dresser. The rest were empty. The decor still in place since the day she had left.That included the large pink and orange blanket. By the blood it is the most comfortable thing I had ever felt.

"Colors I do not mind. It is comfort I choose above all else." I set her bags on top of the dresser and the larger ones on the floor before it.

" _So you have a pink room back on Sangheilios?_ " I guess we are sticking to the language we are most comfortable with. I don't mind.

"No..." I recall my room before I had left, flinching at the thought. "I was taken of such luxury."

" _Why?_ "

"Punishment and discipline."

" _Skipping out on studies?_ " She give me a playful smirk.

"No." I cross my arms. I feel a bit uncomfortable, unease. "To show me my place."

" _Wow_..." Her eyes widen, the fur over her eyes raised. " _If that doesn't scream child abuse then I don't know what does._ "

"What's  _A-buse_..?" 

She gives a sad smile. "Abuse." Oh. " _So- what did you have if you didn't have a pink room?_ "

"A solid floor, dried grass for bedding, a desk, a single window, and a chain to keep me from escaping." I recall the cold nights, the constant scratching from the grass, and lack of clothing. I wore the same outfit at least a week before changing into another. "Could've been worse." I shrug.

" _Worse_?"

"My ancestors...were..." I shake my head, sighing.

" _C'mon -tell me_!" She plops on the bed, bouncing before she crosses her legs. " _I want to know_!" She's curious.

It makes me laugh. 

I recall the catacombs... "My ancestors were captured and harvested for their hide and scales... For the beauty in their color and unique patterns. They were caged and treated like beast until they became nothing more than that. Beasts."

She nods her head understanding. She doesn't seem disgusted or shocked. " _At least you had a window. My father had me sleeping on concrete. Just a single door with the only way in or out. Underground._ " She takes off her shoes and tosses them in the far corner. " _The door was made of steal and I was only allowed to leave when he said I was allowed. Otherwise it was training, studies, a scheduled meal, and five minute conversations with lovely dad._ " That was clearly sarcasm.

"All of that for sneaking out?"

" _No. He caught me stabbing myself_."

"Why would you..?"

" _I wanted to feel pain. For once._ " She takes off her coat, tossing that too in the same corner. " _He gave me a choice between the crazy house or the basement. I chose the basement_." She hisses, " _What a decision I made_."

"You regret it?"

" _Sort of...not...really_." She looks me in the eyes. " _It's better than people telling you something is wrong with you when there isn't, and they keep you strapped to a bed and force medicine -that fucks with your head- down your throat on an every day basis._ " She frowns, grinding her teeth. " _The only regret I have in that matter is the duration of how long I stayed in there_."

"How long?"

"A daily cycle."

"So short."

She smirks. " _You try not to go insane for two weeks with nothing to do and five minute conversations with the guy you want to hate._ "

"Want to hate..?"

" _It's been proven that a human being cannot mentally function when in absence of contact. The brain would make things up to help compensate of that lose, forcing the person to believe that there is something there when it isn't._ " She frowns. " _I started talking to myself after day two. It wasn't until after the first week I believed I was having actual conversations with someone else._ "

"You...believed that there was someone else...when you were alone?"

" _Yes_." She lies down, getting comfortable. " _I called him...Mr. Poopybutthole_."

I laugh. "You must have been desperate if you were talking to a _arse_."

She laughs, " _He was an ass. He kept talking shit._ " We both laugh at...such a horrible joke. She looks over to me and pats the bed. " _Come...sleep with me_."

"Is that an invitation?" I shouldn't have said that. I've been around _Washington_ for too long. Thinking of, where did he-

" _The bed is cold_." Well, she doesn't seem to mind.

"You can't feel temperature."

" _I can feel you_."

"No, because I'm over here."

She takes off her monitor and tosses it on the _night stand_. " _Then come over here and be my monitor. I want to sleep for once without that thing on me._ " She is tired and frustrated. " _I promise not to touch below the waist._ "

So tempting. "Fine." I walk over. "The bed might not be big enough." 

" _Don't care_." her voice is lowering, drawling out. " _Just hurry up_."

I ease my way onto the bed, laying more on my back than my side. She moves closer, resting her head on my chest as my right arm went underneath her. Her hair tickling my shoulder as her arm wraps around my torso. As we both settle into position, it felt...as though something deeply yearning within me has been...reached. A storm that has been raging inside of me I had not known, until it had settled and left with a refreshing sense of rest after a long journey. I want to feel this...forever.

I test my boundaries, playing with her hair in my left hand. A though just occur to me, "Why are we sharing a room?"

She rubs her face against my chest. " _It's the only guess room in the entire facility available. And I didn't want to see you go back in that jail cell_." She yawns. " _Also, the guys upstairs don't mind. They see you are a nice guy._ "

"Nice am I?"

"Mm-hm. _You helped Angela when she was naked_." She speaks about the prank someone played on her.

"That -how did you know?"

" _Washington told me while you were day dreaming_."

I growl thinking of ways to kill that little-

 _"Quiet. Go to sleep_."

"As you wish." I do feel quite tired... 

Her scent is... _intoxicating_.

* * *

_He was being treated by the healer..._

_Just like last time._

_He was placed in a different room, away from the others..._

_Just like last time._

_They left him here, bleeding and scarred..._

_Just like last time..._

_How long until there isn't a last time anymore? Before he breathes his last breath? This was torture._

_"Don't allow those thoughts poison your mind. Little one." J'kar looks over to his teacher. He sits in the same spot in the same position..._

_Just like last time._

_"Is there a way to no long be Sangheili? To not be...J'kar the Savage Blood?" His wounds sting with every twitch of muscles... Just like last time. "I want to leave. I don't want to be here any longer." Tears leaves his eyes, just like last time._

_"Hm." The brute leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What if I told you there was a way to leave Sangheilios. Forever." He had the youngling's full attention. "To be rid of all the lies, to fight for what you believe in. To even...go against the Covenant." He's smirks. "Have you heard of the Banished?"_

_"No," he shakes his head. "Who are they?"_

_The brute smiles, revealing all the sharp teeth at his arsenal._

* * *

I stare at her. Admiring her beauty and everything about her. I want her for myself. I want her to want me for herself. I don't want this to end. I want this to last. This feeling of...completion. I feel as though I found where I truly belong. Right here in her arms, close to my hearts, breathing her every little breath as I smell her with every breath I take. The long seconds I take to look at her, inspires me more that life could be this sweet. That it can truthfully be this...divine. I have always been searching, looking for freedom that has me trapped in this...husk. Left in my imprisonment of my own undoing.

But not here...never here...with her.

I've always felt alone, but now...I found my place.

And I am never leaving.

Even if death were to separate us, I will never leave.

This is my calling, my fate.

I have finally found myself...

You have me Muriel.

As I will have you.

Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend of mine requested I do a Sonic fanfiction for his "fan-made comic", since story lines are kind of my "thing". My reaction was: ". . . BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHHAHAHAHaaaa..! *suddenly quiet and serious...* No." He still hasn't left me alone about it. Then he asked me for an Overwatch fanfiction! My reaction: "I'll think about it in the next...mmmmm, how about -Never." He then turns around and tries to convince me to do a Naruto or Boruto one, not co-relating to the one I have on hold. My reaction: "I have too much respect for Naruto to write that kind of bullshit!" Seriously I do. And then my favorite; he asked for Bleach: "I rather gouge my eyes out and write the most horrible Naruto fanfiction ever in world history -misused grammar and punctuation included!"
> 
> He finally asked for one last thing: "A Spiderman fanfiction? Are you kidding me? ...Ha!" But then it had me thinking... Can I do a Spiderman fanfiction? It's more popular than Halo and Danny Phantom. I know more of the Marvel Universe than I let on. Not to mention multiverse theory...
> 
> I'm thinking about doing it...but I'm not sure I'm ready.


	8. I am tired...

I wake to water running. The sink, not shower.

" _Wakey wakey eggs and bake-ey_." Muriel leans out of the door way, a white stick in her mouth with white substance dripping down the side. " _You gonna be late for your physical examine_." She disappears into the bathroom again. I can hear her spitting and something knocking against glass.

Late for my _examine_? I look over to the clock. It is two zero three. I slept for _four hours_? I get up stretching my limbs, feeling a few bones pop and muscles loosen. "I still a bit tired." I yawn.

" _That's because you didn't get any REM sleep_." She comes out. A different outfit from before and quite interesting... The tunic. It was thick and large, green but more grey. It hangs off her body like a coat. The area around the neck bunches, resting more on her shoulders, showing little of the neck. The sleeves barely existent for they were very short. The tunic only covers the majority of her upper torso as the bottom half is cut diagonally off, showing much of her hips. The grey pants..they are baggy -very loose. How do they not fall off. The boots are white with black spots, the black straps sticks out of the sides like thrones. Her hair is in that tail but loose and lower, closer to the neck. Her long hair covers a good portion of her face. How can she see? " _Are you day dreaming again_?"

"Hm." I shake my head "No, I was observing...your clothing. I never seen anything like it." I look away embarrassed for staring. "I like it."

" _Thank you_." She walks around the bed and grabs her _monitor_ , frowning as she puts it on. 

"Your welcome."

She leans close to me and sniffs. She shrugs, " _We are already late. Now -let's go._ " She's rushing out the door.

I follow close behind. She's quite fast for someone so short.

* * *

_The night was calm, a deep welcoming silence._

_J'kar sits in his room staring at the blank wall. So caught up in his thoughts he did not notice the door to his bedroom open and closing softly. He did not notice a large Sangheili walking up behind him armed with a binary rifle. Nor did he paid any attention to the heavy foot steps creeping behind him._

_He did however notice the change of smell in the room. Sniffing, he turns around to face the weapon aimed in his face. The warrior behind the weapon silently glaring. "Say nothing Savage Blood, or your life will end here." He spoke in hushed whispers. He tosses a collar with an attached muzzled next to him on his bed. "Put it on."_

_J'kar looks at the collar indifferent. He then looks up at the warrior glaring, a snarl deep enough to be mistaken for an older Sangheili._

_He had enough!_

* * *

We arrived a bit early.

She pulled the lever underneath the comforter and set the chair high off the floor. She sits kicking her feet and using the momentum to spin in circles. It's amusing watching her kick her feet and twirl in that circular seat. A smile playing on her face. She was clearly enjoying herself. I sit on the chair-table, or the _examination table_ the _doctors_ call it, watching her the entire time.

It does seem a lot of fun.

An old human walks in, _Doctor Schmidt_ I recognize. The same as always he wears his _doctor_ uniform with perfection. Pressed stainless white, head held high, and movements flawless with true confidence. I admire the _man_. If he were my kind, I be willing to bow my head to him.

" _Good evening_ , J'kar." He greets with the usual routine. " _How are you feeling today_?"

" _I am a bit tired. I have not sleep -slept much_." I wonder if I can sleep on the chair-table? It's quite soft.

He walks closer. He touches my face looking at each side separately, tilting his head. The old _man's_ cold hands had always made me shiver upon his touch. I could never get use to it. " _Your eyes are a bit swollen. Blue underneath_." He releases my face. " _You should get some rest after this_."

" _Of course_." I look to Muriel meeting eye to eye. She smiles in return.

"I'd like you to take off your jacket." He turns to leave. I know what he wants from me. A full examination is routine and mandatory before any testing. 

I take off my jacket, baring my entire torso. The doctor returns with the white case and opens to the same data and sticky sensors. The very same ones. The human data pad right next to them. Routine.

" _So doc, what do you usually do_?" Muriel seems a bit restless as her foot kept moving back and forth, no longer spinning.

The _doctor_ smiles, " _Oh, currently I am veterinarian. I had retired from being a nurse for thirty years, after finally getting my Masters degree_." He takes a deep breath as he grabs for a circular white pad to place on my body. " _Harmony's med schools are ridiculous. But don't let that get you down. I also hear you are Doctor Hue's daughter_." He turns to give her a quick smile. " _Lucky girl_." He turns back around continuing the process of placing the white circles on me. " _Already ahead of the race I hear_."

" _Yeah, just one more year then I could get my bachelors_." She goes back to twirling. " _Dad wouldn't let me join the UNSC. He wants me to finish my education outside of military influence_."

" _Good_." He grabs the data pad and runs his thin fingers across it. " _We don't need another Halsey_."

" _I guess we don't need another Master Chief either_?" She mumbles more than she spoke. Yet I heard it, and by the _Doctor Schmidt_ smile so did he.

" _Mas-ter Chi-ef.._?" The name sound familiar. Where have I heard it before?

"He's the green demon. The one that keeps taking down Covenant forces." She smirks, "Supreme-Commander Thel's bane of existence."

"Oh. That one..." Yes, there was not one Sangheili that has not heard of him. Funny how I know the demons are actually Spartans, modified humans, yet the Covenant does not. In fact, I hope they never know.

" _You speak his language_?" _Doctor Schmidt_ points to me as he kooks at Muriel.

" _I was here teaching him English and translating before I left for school_."

" _That is a good head on your shoulders_." The old male's smile grew. " _You could be ambassador_."

" _Pfft -no. I don't do politics_." She leans forward and kicks her feet faster, gaining momentum to spin the chair faster. The tunic is staring to rise, showing her entire back and hips. Soft flesh.

" _That's different...your heart-s are picking up quite fast_." He looks to me a bit worried. He places his cold hands on my face, " _I might need to take your temperature. Make sure you are not sick_." He places his data pad down. " _I will be right back_." He leaves in a rush.

The moment he left, Muriel leaps from her chair and stands in front of me. "So...you shed?"

I growl, " _Washington_."

"No," She taps my face. "Your color. _You used to be a brownish grey_. Now..." She tilts her head side to side. " _You are_...a lot of colors." She's slipping between Sangheili and English. Her accent becoming more apparent. Her _r_ 's are harsh as her _o_ 's slip between quite smoothly. Almost like she is growling. Is she..? " _The stripes are really cool_. A nice brown." She traces the patterns on my arm, her claws seem to have gotten longer the last I saw them.

"Not like I have a choice." I can smell her natural scent, no longer cloaked by scented ointments. "But I thank you...for the compliment." It smells of water and salt, and there is something else...a gentle fragrance. Something I cannot define. She must have showered before we left, but her scent...It's...not repulsive as I have assumed the other warriors spoke of. It is...lovely.

She smiles, her eyes looking down.

Ancestors I love her smile.

One of her brows rises. "You know..." She laughs a bit. "If you want know how to court a female human. _All you have to do is ask them out on a date_."

What?

She lifts the data pad and turns it around for me to see. " _Your hormones are increasing along with both of your heart rates_." She taps her finger on the screen, biting her lip. "It means you are attracted to me."

"I..." ...am caught.

"Stop." She holds her hand up. She then presses her finger on my snout. "Think about it before you speak."

What is there to think about? "Are you not attracted to me?"

Her eyes narrow taking away her finger. She leans back and looks me up and down, gazing my entire form. I feel disrobed, naked to her even with clothing on as she stares. Her silence drags on as she _checks me out_. Maybe this wasn't a good idea... " _Sexually -yes_." Or not..? "However ideally, I can't start a relationship with those who are prisoner of war. Otherwise I'm a traitor to my own kind." Makes sense.

But..."So if we were together... _in theory_?"

"I'd take you on in bed..." She leans in close. Her scent, it fills my mind...intoxicating, refreshing. It gives me a need to smell her more, to just know what her scent is like if I were to taste it. I want to smother myself in it. "-After you are an adult." No... "You are still a minor." No..! "So two years, and then you can get more than just my answer." NO!

" _Cock tease_."

" _You definitely have been hanging around Washington for too long_."

" _Cock blocked by my own age_..." Such defeat.

"It's just two more years and - _woah_!"

"What?" I follow her line of sight and look down...ah. This is very embarrassing.

" _Okay, so- Jesus_!" It seems Doctor Schmidt has returned with another _doctor_. Fantastic! " _I guess we know why your heart rate went up_." The female doctor gives a reassuring smile, or as I am understanding it. " _Ahem- do you need some time alone_?"

" _For what_?"

Muriel laughs, " _You're such a virgin_."

"A what?"

She just laughs more.

I am absolutely sure a blush has covered my face.

* * *

_J'kar licks the blood from his claws._

_The Sangheili, once intruder, now lay dead at his hooves._

_There is a loud ruckus outside the room down the halls. It's even louder outside in the court yard. J'kar doesn't mind._

_He just goes back to his meal._

_Such a feast..._

* * *

" _Now...you know how to reproduce_?" The female doctor asks.

" _Not entirely. I was just told to follow...to let my instincts take over_." I think a little of what I had heard and learned from my brothers. " _Just enough of how children are born, not...how they came to being_."

" _So you don't know about your own body, or how to-_ " She motions with her hands. " _-release yourself._ "

" _I do not_."

Muriel giggles. "Tell them you want the short version." She mumbles quietly under her breath.

I look between the doctors and Muriel in confusion. They too seem to wonder what she had said. " _She suggested a -short version_?"

The doctors smile. I guess they understood what Muriel had meant.

* * *

_J'kar was full. He doesn't feel like eating anymore._

_He drops whatever flesh he was feasting on and goes to the bathroom._

_He was quite thirsty..._

* * *

I learn about _masturbation_ and what it can do. Amongst other things...

All the while, Muriel is still in the room, helping me into understanding how the...motions should go.

It turns out I am as innocent as they come. Completely inexperienced and uneducated in the area I should be as Breeder of the Keep. Which comes to question... How do humans know so much about sex, even of those different from them?

A question I'm curious to know, but willing to not have answered. For I fear for it.

No. It is best I just go through the motions as they instructed and test it out later... Or soon if it doesn't go away.

This is so uncomfortable...

I want to cry...

* * *

_J'kar has a full belly._

_He was well fed and thirst quench._

_Sleep. Such a nice thought. Sleep is what he need to pass the time._

_He got quite comfortable in bed. So soft._

* * *

The door closes.

They left me alone. That was after they handed me the _lubricant_ and a box of _tissues_.

I don't want to do this... _masturbating_. However, it is either this or a very cold shower.

I'll pass on the shower.

So...take my clothes off and use the _lubricant_ to... _get off_ and the _tissues_ to prevent the... _semen_ from spilling everywhere. I can't help but just stare.

Do I really have to do this? Yes.

Am I afraid? Surprisingly yes.

Ugh...Let's get this over with.

My _erection_ , as the _doctors_ called it, is different from what I expected. It feels different.

I can feel it, but not like I can feel my fingers or hooves. It is sort of...just there.

I grab the lubricant and pour onto my hands. I set the bottle aside and start to rub my hands together as I was instructed. Now, for the touching. I lean farther against the chair-table and touch the t- BY THE ANCESTORS! That sent a shock to my brain -to my whole body. It felt...good. And that was just a touch?

What happens if I... go for the bottom? ...around the sides?

I rub around the base not quite touching. . . it . . . oh . . . that's. . . ah . . . more . . . I want -uh . . . more -ah . . .

. . . something is . . . nuh . . . tight . . . more -oh- more . . .

"AH!"

. . . Well . . . that was --so good!

To believe such a simple task can leave me breathless...

 _Oops_...I forgot to use the _tissues_.

I hope they don't notice it on the roof.

* * *

_J'kar wakes the next day and stands over the same dead Sangheili he had killed yesterday._

_It seems no one came to check up on him. Leaving him once more alone._

_He is tired of it and he has enough._

_The room is starting to stink._

_J'kar used his strength and tossed the body over the balcony. He looks over, watching the body land in the middle of the court yard. The dead leaves a nice blue pattern on the beige floor. One of the guards will take care of it._

_Now, J'kar is hungry again._

_He feels like hunting..._

* * *

I redressed and cleansed the room as much as possible. Spare for the marking on the roof.

I yawn.

I hear the door opening. " _Tired already, huh?_ " Muriel walks in, not bothering to knock. Rude.

" _There's a sex joke in there_."

" _It's okay, you're just getting started_."

"Another sex joke." I yawn again. "I am really tired."

" _It happens to the best of us_."

"Stop."

" _But I'm pretty sure you can get it back up_."

" _Keep going and I'll start calling you Washington._ " I threatened.

" _One more_...?" I turn to glare. " _Please_?"

How can I say no to a face like that? "One."

" _I see you left a mistletoe for everyone to know_."

" _Mist-le-toe_..?" She points to the roof. I need not to look up to know what she was indicating.

Damn it.

* * *

  _J'kar walks down the hall, prowling in the shadows._

_So far he seen nothing and heard nothing. It's all too silent. But he knows one place where even a single Sangheili would visit._

_The training hall._

* * *

I don't feel like getting up. 

I don't want to leave my comforts. The temperature is perfect, the sheets are soft, the atmosphere is just... right. The fluffy pillow. Muriel's scent. Her warm body pressed against mine. My arms around her. My hands touching her smooth  _skin_  -soft hide. Her leg around mine. Her hands on my chest. The jacket long removed for less heat between us. The padding underneath us cradles together. The soft sheet holds in that comforting warmth, feeling neither hot _nor_ cold.

Just.

Perfect.

I know I should get up.

But I don't want to. It feels too good.

Every time I open my eyes, something in the comforts of my thoughts tells me to go back to sleep. To rest easy as I fall into it in a slow slumber... My thoughts. My Body. Energize, but I don't feel like moving.

I feel safe here.

Comfortable.

I don't want to move.

It's quite apparent Muriel doesn't either.

It should be almost dark outside, a bit past sunset.

...Maybe it's best I believe that. That it's already night. The city lights in the lower valley. The trees in the darkness, like shadows dancing in the wind. The creatures. Only to be heard in those dancing shadows. The cool breeze against my hot hide. The soft grass speaking whispers in the night. as everything else is just. Quiet. Resting.

Today is my lazy day.

And I can't seem to stop smiling.

* * *

_Night._

_It was night._

_That's when it happened._

_The Savage Blood._

_It's why he's here. Chained to the floor. The Elders sitting all around him in their chairs up on the stalls with looks of anger and fear. Only one had the look of neutrality._

_"All rise for Kaidon Thel 'Vadamee. Supreme-Commander of Covenant's Fleet of Particular Justice!" An announcer. He stands by the throne just below the stairs. The guards close to him with spears in hand as the Kaidon walks past._

_He's in full armor, yellow and black to state his rank among both kin and kind, long damur cape dragging behind him as he walks to his chair. The armor clinks with each step. And yet something new... A limp with each step. A wince of his eyes._

_He was in pain. And yet he hides it._

_Carefully he sits in his chair, the cape adjusted to hang off one side as his boots don't stain the delicate fabric. He leans back with a sigh, a groan barely heard as he carefully moves his leg. He waves his hand. "All may seat!" The council members sit. The room goes silent with tension._

_The Kaidon looks off to the side nodding to the announcer. "As we all well know of the events that has happened week prior, with the assault on our keep, another event had happened. J'kar 'Vadam, son of Kie'dei 'Vadam and future Breeder of the Keep, has attacked our Kaidon in the middle of his training nearly two days after." The council speaks in harsh whispers and scolding remarks. Those who didn't know had looks of surprise of their faces. "He was enraged with blood lust, aiming to kill. As of evidence, guards had found blood of one of the invaders spread across his room as though he was..." The adviser sneers, his shoulders hunch in disgust. "...eaten." The council was in louder. Elders pointing to J'kar._

_J'kar was on his knees in the middle of the room. The chains on his neck and hands as the muzzle ran tightly over his mandibles. Guards at his sides points their weapons in his direction, their anger and fear flows off of them like a scent in the wind. His head was downcast, not daring to look at anyone. Not even himself in the reflective metal. He was stripped of his clothing, naked before them. But the blood... They dare not to wash the blood staining his hands or his chest, let alone his mouth._

_They wanted to see him as this monster._

_The Savage._

_"Once your thoughts are gathered," The announcer continues, "You may speak."_

_An Elder doesn't hesitate to stand. "We should have killed him when we had the chance!"_

_Another Elder stands. "It's not too late to do so!"_

_The council comes to an uproar in disagreement._

_As the first Elder sit, another Elder stands. "Such actions are against tradition! And by tradition --Law!" The councils' voices lowers as they listen. "We are not to kill young as they have time to improve and grow!"_

_The Second Elder growls. "He is not our own! He is of Savage Blood! And as he grows so does his blood in strength!" A few council member agree, nodding and huffing._

_Another Elder, a forth, stands. "You forget Elder Azok that with his blood we can breed stronger warriors. A generation that can lead us -our clan -and the Covenant- to glory!" Other members cheer for him, agreeing._

_"All the same he can kill our kind! He can kill our females!"_

_"That won't be a problem if he were to restrained." A different council member spoke. "All we need is he seed. Nothing more."_

_"Who is to say he won't brood more Savage Blood?" This was another member._

_"Who is to say he won't succeed in killing the Kaidon the second time?"_

_"Are you saying the Kaidon can't defend himself?"_

_"I'm saying the Kaidon respects our laws --our traditions! He would not dare bring harm to any young!"_

_"Not because he is of the child's blood?_

_"What?" A few Elders said at the same time._

_"He is the Kaidon's younger blood brother."_

_"So the Kaidon is too Savage Blood?"_

_The council goes into an uproar after the statement. Council members shouts an growls over one another, arguing nonstop as they try to speak of their disapproval. As the shouting gets louder, the tension within the air gets thicker, all members of the council starts standing from their seats as they yell at each across the room. All spare for one, whom sits in his chair neutrally, as others speak out of turn._

_The Kaidon listens, silently waiting patiently for the Elders._

_It wasn't long until Thel's eyes looks down at J'kar. He frowns as he sees no reaction from the young Sangheili. No fear. No anger. Just nothing. Whether his silence was that of guilt or regret, he did not know. By sight he understood, that no matter in the end, J'kar will accept his path and punishment without struggle. This got Thel to think. If J'kar was so willing to give in, who is say he won't learn from his actions and do better by the clan? If he were to take training, be taught by teacher that's willing to listen and provide like their mother, then maybe... But there was still the chance of J'kar leaving without a word. Like what he did with his studies, he would leave and go missing, sneaking off to do whatever he felt. He doesn't want to sentence him to death. He needs to persuade the Council to see that J'kar is willing to learn -to serve the clan as he is meant to._

_"If I may have the floor Kaidon?" A Sangheili, not quite an Elder as he was new to the council. He stands from his seat, his voice deep and commanding, grabbing every member of the council's attention._

_Thel waves his hand. "You may."_

_The room goes silent as the Sangheili walks from the stand. The guards back away from J'kar as the male walks closer. Soon, he stands in the middle of the floor before J'kar. They made eye contact before the older male turn to face the Kaidon. "I like to make a proposal." He looks around ensure he had the Council's attention. "I wish for J'kar 'Vadam to be my ward." The room is filled with loud whispers._

_The Kaidon rubs his mandible in thought. "What reason do you have for this?"_

_"I know how to control the Savage Blood."_

* * *

I feel movement. Muriel.

She pulls herself from me, groaning as she moves. "How long was I out?"

I open an eye peeking at her as she rubs her  _hair_. I look past her and read the clock. " _More than_ _five hours_."

She falls back onto the bed. " _Forget it. I might as well go back to sleep._ "

I smile, wrapping my arms around once more in comfort. She holds me back, rubbing her face under my neck.

I have another reason not to leave the bed.

* * *

_J'kar sits in his cell._

_He stares at the force field separating him from the rest of the keep. The council had decided to decide his fate the next day. A break for the confident Sangheili who calmed he knew how control J'kar._

_Needless to say it left the court in a stand still._

_"Ah!"_

_J'kar blinks hearing--_

_"Ugh!"_

_A guard goes flying pass his door. J'kar quickly rushes to the transparent wall, watching as what had went on. It was a brute, black in fur. Tall in height and larger in scale. Two others were with him, dressed in red armor, gravity hammers in hand. Their bodies painted in white. "Die! Covenant scum!" The hammer slams down, the guard's blood splatters against walls. The Brute turns to look at him, smiling. "Hello there."_

_The Banished!_

_J'kar backs away, his back quickly meeting the wall. He was trapped!_

_The brute walks up to the force field. "Open it." He commands his underlings. "We've been looking for you." He changes his grip on his hammer, holding it in one hand. The wall vanishes and the brute walks inside._

_J'kar snarls._

_The brute corners him, his smiling turns into a full out grin._

* * *

It's cold.

Why is it cold?

Opening my eyes, I see the reason.

Muriel left. There's a white square in the space she left. A note?

I pick the paper and read the handwriting. It's in Sangheili. The words written:

Went to the store.

Will be back before midnight.

\- Mr'eiel

She spelled her name in Sangheili?

The name, it attracts much of my attention... Mr'eiel. Though it is male, it brings about its own beauty. It holds quite some truth to it. Ever since she first spoke, I felt at ease with her presence. I still do. Even the times she wasn't by my side, I would always come to think of her. And whenever we are alone, I feel... like... myself. Like it was how I was suppose to be --how everything is suppose to be. That I am actually part of something... whole. Something that I am truly a part of, and without me it is nothing. So small but meaningful. A purpose.

I trace the name with my thumb, loving the name the more I look at it. I know there are simpler ways to spell her name in Sangheili, but why this one..?

I found myself smiling. I just understood the implication she meant for this name.

"A voice without words." Because I took her breath away...

Muriel. You certainly have way with words. 

* * *

_J'kar fights._

_But try as he might, he couldn't get the muzzle and cuffs off. He tries kicking the Brute, but he just holds him at arms length, laughing. "Atriox will enjoy the gift I grace him. Then I, Utaleus, shall lead the Banished as his right hand!" The other Banished warriors cheered for him._

_J'kar fights harder._

_"Stop it you brat!" He squeezes around the young Sangheili's neck, forcing his body to go lax. "Much better. It helps that your species can't move when grabbed on the neck. Makes kidnapping a lot easier." He chuckles, walking down the halls with J'kar gripped tightly around the neck._

_J'kar begins to feel himself panic. He doesn't want this! He doesn't want to go with them! If the Elders mistreated him, whose to say the Banished won't do worse._

_They stop. "Quiet. Let them pass." Utaleus orders. They leans against the wall silently. Seconds pass..._

_J'kar can hear boots. The guards!_

_The Sangheili guards pass. Two of them side by side with spears in their hands, guns on their hips. Their heads facing forward and eyes focused on the front. Once they passed, the Jiralhanae continues down the hall in the opposite direction. "We only a few moments before the next guards come. Don't fall behind." It was quite clear these Brutes knew the 'Vadam Keep both inside and out as they pass and sneak by several guards without once alerting them. They were getting close to the transports. J'kar began to lose hope. He couldn't move with the brute's grip around his neck so tight. His mouth muzzled and hands bind. He needed someone -anyone to help him!_

_"You know..."_

_The Banished stop. J'kar can see out of the corner of his eye. It was Ripa! His brother came to rescue him!_

_"...I hate it when I'm right." He takes out his plasma rifle and aims. "Let him go!"_

_The Brute huffs, mocking the Elite. "You against seven of us? You should be the one to-_

_He fires._

_The brute laughs. "You missed!"_

_Ripa laughs himself. "No, I didn't." He lowers his gun and tosses a device._

_J'kar catches the device. With a swing he activates the plasma sword._

_The Brute frowns._

* * *

I watch Muriel entering the room. She was carrying something in her hand. A bag with made of white fabric. The English words  _Bernie's Pet Shop_  on one side in bold blue lettering. There's also sounds coming from the bag. Chirping I believe. Like the birds I hear during the day, but more frantic. I think the creatures are frightened. She places the bag on the dresser, pulling the item out. The first was a transparent bag with yellow...seeds? The next was a transparent box with yellow furry creatures. They are many in that box, small and yellow in size. Tiny little panicking things.

They very are cute.

Then she takes something else out before she rolls the bag into a ball. A large cylinder, white, with no words on it. Strange...

She opens the box full of those cute little panicking things and grabs three. They are chirping louder. Very scared. She then sprinkles white powder the cylinder held onto the fuzzy yellow creatures. What is she doing? She walks over to -when did that get there? It's a large box container, but made of glass. She opens the side panel and dumps the creatures inside.

The things were still chirping.

Curious. "What are you doing?"

She doesn't turn to look at me. Her eyes are stuck on that glass container. " _Feeding Richard_."

I sit up from the bed and try to peer at what she was seeing. I don't see anything. Just chips of wood, rock, dirt, flora, and broken branches with leaves on them. There's also a small rock in the corner holding water. "Who's  _Rich-ard_?" That's when I saw it. The movement was slow, but I saw the thing.

It camouflage so well against the backdrop and leaves. It's eyes were as green as it's hide. White markings going down its spine and underbelly being pure white. Something came out of its mouth then quickly retreated, a tongue perhaps? It was facing the fuzzy creature...

Wait.

Muriel said  _feeding_...

* * *

_"J'kar." Ripa spoke, steeping over dead bodies of the Banished. "J'kar?" His voice was wavering. He was beginning to worry. "Are you alright?"_

_"Do you think of me as a bad person Ripa?"_

_Ripa was stunned to say the least. "No." He walks closer, placing his plasma rifle back on his side. He leans down and hugs J'kar, nuzzling against his neck in show of comforting affection. "My little female." He silently takes the plasma sword from J'kar's hand, easing the weapons from his claws. "Tell me, did you really wanted to kill Thel?"_

_J'kar stills._

_There was a shared silence between the both of them._

_Ripa nips J'kar's mandible, "I want an answer."_

_J'kar turns his head away, still not willing to answer._

_"You fight even me?"_

_"I fight no one."_

_"Then why do you not answer?"_

_J'kar looks up at the wall, his arms relax at his sides. "You're the only one I'm willing to protect."_

_Ripa pulls his head back, looking at his sibling carefully. He didn't have to say a word, it was in his body language. The direction he was facing told him of the answer. There was only one building in that direction, and only one person within that building he knew that want to cause harm to his family. J'kar knew who that person was, but can't say without paying the price. That price obviously begin Ripa's life. "Say no more." He affectionately nuzzles J'kar once more. "When you return to your trial, let me do the talking."_

_As Ripa spoke, Sangheili warriors off all kinds come running toward them._

* * *

I was still laying in bed, watching _Rich-ard_ with Muriel. She sits on the edge, legs cross underneath her as her hands hold up her head. A intriguing posture, the way she hunches over. Her concentration never strays from the slow moving creature in the glass box. I myself am finding this a bit amusing. I recognize a hunt when I see one. The predator making its way toward it prey, keeping its movements slow and steady to not spook its meal into running. Though I never did participate in the hunt back on Sangheilios. I was only allowed to watch from the upper balconies, away from sight so the other younger ones didn't fear me as I spectated. So I was told. I did practice such prowess when I wish to sneak away from guards and creep on Ripa.

It was because of him I learned the skill and mastered it. He was the only one to speak to me as an equal. The only one to see me as blood and not some beast that needed to be chained. His respect for me was as strong as his love. As his lessons were thorough as were his intentions. He was destined to become Kaidon before Thel. If it were not for his preference of the same sex. He would've made a great leader -an excellent one. Just like Uncle...

But his hatred for the Elders spoke louder than his want for the title Kaidon. He gave the position to Thel, not out of respect, but for freedom. He had always told me 'responsibility is the absence of freedom'. I had once always thought he was lazy, but then that time... He showed me what he truly meant. How his words strike me to the core with such wisdom.

I am proud to look up to him.

* * *

" _I will take J'kar as my ward." The Elder claims. "As I have proven to the council, and of my lineage. Am I not most acceptable for the position?" Few of the Elders were in agreement. "If not, then please my brothers speak. Tell me of your thoughts if you do not wish to... subject the young one under my control?"_

_"I will like to challenge that!" Ripa walks to the center of the room. He goes to stand next to J'kar. "I believe I should be the one to take him as my ward."_

_The Elder laughs. "Please Ripa, you are Spec Ops. Nothing about you is honorable!" More Elders agreed. "What makes you convince us that the Savage Blood will obey you?"_

_"Because I know he won't kill me."_

_"Your his blood-_

_"A greater reason for me to have him."_

_"You seek the pleasure of other males!"_

_"And you committed treason!"_

_The room goes into an uproar. The Elders and audience speak to one another, looking around the room as gossip spread fast. The Elder remain standing, glaring at Ripa. "You dare? I am Baron Nuk'jya 'Vadamee! Elder of the 'Vadam council! Member of the High Council!"_

_"Funny coming from a coward who never held a weapon, nor fought alongside his brothers. It seems you're more inclined to buy out your competitors than fight far!" The members slowly look to the proclaimed Baron, their eyes judging. "That's not mentioning your attempt to kill our Kaidon."_

_Voices climb in volumes. The Kaidon stands from his throne, flinching a bit in pain. "Ripa 'Vadamee, you accuse an Elder of treason but you show no proof." The room quiets down, listening closely._

_"But I do." He looks to the guards."Let her in!" The doors opens to a female, she walks to the center of the room, her head bowed in respect and fear. "This is lady Vr'una 'Moramee, a cleaning servant who was present at the time. Please, tell the council what you've told me."_

_The female bows, "My Kaidon." The room lowers in volume listening to the soft spoken female. "I heard the Baron threatening to take the life of a warrior named Ripa 'Vadamee. He said for the young one to kill the Kaidon --you my Kaidon- if he wishes to spare the life of his older blood brother."_

_The Kaidon walks from his chair and stands just before the female. "Do you know of what you speak servant?"_

_"No-not entirely." She glances up to look back down to the floor._

_"Do you know who stands beside you?"_

_"No -my Kaidon." She lowers her head._

_"The one that stands beside you is Ripa 'Vadamee." Her eyes widen, slowly looking to the warrior beside her. "They are both my younger siblings." The female holds her breath. She just understood the relationship -the truth of the words she spoke and how much they weigh. "You are admitting that my youngest blood brother chose the second youngest over his Kaidon. Over me."_

_The female Sangheili was remorseful of her words. "Yes."_

_The Kaidon takes a deep breath, letting the words sink in. The members of the council rose in anger at the female's words, calling her a liar. Others went to cursing the young Sangheili, all shouting in mixes of emotions. He was a traitor, a blasphemer! They no longer wanted him -to see him! He should have died at birth! He, who chose an dishonorable Sangheili over their righteous leader, shouldn't been seen as one of their own._

_They called for his death!_

_As the council shouted, Thel looks at Ripa in search for an answer. To see the extent... of what has become of his family. He was saddened, broken on the inside. Even if he questions it, he had always known the answer. "Ripa?"_

_Ripa frowns, "I would have done the same Thel."_

* * *

The predator was that much closer. It was rubbing its snout against one of the little yellow creatures. They had gone silent after a while, seeming to calm or grow tired of chirping. They were huddled together against the glass. Small bodies curled up into little yellow fluffy balls. The creature had yet to blink, it's eyes -quite similar to mine, are concentrating on its soon to be meal. It mouth is slowly opening...

 _"Here it comes!_ " Muriel whispers in excitement.

I stare, watching small rows of teeth uncurling from the white compound. If I had blinked I would've missed it, as the predator strikes the little creature, wrapping its large long body around the now wildly chirping thing. I can only see its little leg sticking out, trying to escape from the predator's grasps. The chirps slowly lowers in volume, then pitch, until it was silenced altogether. 

 _"Poor Richard. Must've been starving."_   She leans a bit back, hands going to her sides for support. _"Been caged in a small container for almost two days. Couldn't feed him until I get here."_

"You relish in the death of others?" The predator, it unwinds...

She hums. _"Never thought of it in that way. I just enjoy watching him eat. Makes me feel like I accomplished something."_

So it's male. "What do you mean by accomplish?" The male predator was now fitting its mouth around the head of its prey. Can it really swallow that thing whole?

She shrugs. _"Kind of how a mother would feel after she takes care of her kids."_ She looks at me. _"It's the same reason I make sure you eat."_

"Then you relish responsibility." I guess it can swallow the thing whole. It's mouth is certainly making its way down. 

 _"Definitely._ "

"Then we found something uncommon." Muriel likes taking care of others. I surely don't. The clan can fend for themselves.

She hums some more, kicking her legs out over the edge of the bed. _"No... I think you're just not ready yet."_

"Ready for what?" Responsibility?

 _"To go that extra mile."_   She smiles at me. I think she caught onto my confusion as I looked at her. _"Don't worry you'll see what I mean."_

 _Whatever._ "I'm going back to sleep." I make myself comfortable underneath the blanket, both Muriel and I watch the creature in the cage devour its prey in... I yawn... silence.


	9. I answer questions...

Morning.

Muriel was giving _Richard_ a bath. Just a mere bowl full of water for the _snake_  -as I come to learn its species- to soak in. The _serpent_ was peaceful, quite tame. I even find myself petting the creature on the head. Careful not to poke its eyes with my claws, for the creature had no eye lids. Or  _Richard_ , I should say. _He_ has a name, as Muriel kept reminding me.

After Muriel places him back in his cage, we had enough time to get food. _Breakfast_ as humans call their morning meal. I don't believe I eaten yesterday, not that I can remember. Just the soft comforts of the bed. Muriel's warmth... She mocks me for being like _Richard_. Always seeking her body warmth. 

It was down the halls as we walked that I learn of her pet. The more I hear of about _Richard_ , the more I wanted a _snake_ for pet as well. "You call him a _reptile_?"

 _"Yes,"_ she smiles, _"Snake is the general name for his species. Serpent is the type of animal he is. And Reptile tells of what class, or group, of animals he comes from."_

"I don't think --I'm... trying to understand. So what of your kind? How would you describe yourself as if you were describing _Richard_."

_"Human is the type of species I am. Though some would disagree, we are apes -the type of animal. The class of animals we are is mammal."_

"And my kind?"

She makes a face. Her mouth tilting a bit to the side. _"Debatable. Your kind are definitely reptiles, but the missing tail and type of vertebrae you kind has mixes you with aquatic and land bass animals -that's including the hooves. Which, technically speaking makes you a bird -sort of but... It's best if you ask Doctor Schmidt about this, because honestly I have no idea."_

"But I am... _reptile_?"

_"Absolutely."_

"Hm." I give this conversation some thought. Humans have the tendency to name and categorize everything, even go as far as giving them shorter or familiar names to remember by. As _apples_ are _fruits_ so are _oranges_ , but the coloration and size gives off the type of _fruits_ they are. As _green_ _apple_ from a _red apple_. An _apple_ that is plump and round might be what they call a _fee-gee apple_ as a smaller and with less color might be a _Court-land apple_. I guess such labels have there uses. To tell which apple is perfered to be eaten and others to keep away. Or maybe they carry different nutrients compared to others. I myself enjoy the _red delicious apples_ -an obvious name- as they juicy and quite delectable. But what of the seedless ones? Do they alter the size? Change flavor? And what of these _or-gaenix_? Do they too alter the fruit? Is it for better or for worse?

"Something wrong?" I snap to attention, realizing Muriel had a worried expression on her face. "You stopped walking half way with a zoned out expression."

I continue our walk. "I was thinking of what you told me. I come to a conclusion that I need to learn more of... your human ways." Yes labels are important. I need to know and understand everything in case I come upon something that needs to be either addressed or avoided. "I still feel... unprepared. As though the knowledge I now retain still means nothing in comparison to the knowledge I will learn next."

Muriel smiles. She is amused. "I think the word you're looking for is _overwhelmed._ " She thinks for a while. "Or maybe... _Unversed_..?"

" _Unversed_ sounds right." Doesn't seem to insult my intelligence. " _I am unversed in the way of humans_."

She laughs, holding her stomach. "Wow. We humans won't feel offended what so ever!" She laughs a bit more, showing off her white teeth. " _You meant you are unversed in our cultur_ e. Not the human way. Saying it this way makes you sound less... _racist_."

" _You mean speicist_." I correct her. " _Racist is more of insulting one's culture as being speciest is objecting another species entirely_." 

She nudges my arm, smiling as she did so. " _Look at you! The student has finally became the the teacher. Well done_!"

I feel quite proud. However I can't get ahead of myself. " _I still have much to learn_." English is still bit hard on my throat and tongue. But it will become easier, with practice and time.

Muriel grabs my arm, whipping her eyes as though there were tears falling down her face. But I know this trick, she was faking. " _I feel so proud_."

If there was a perfect moment to practice my eye rolling technique, then it was now. I do so shaking my head. The motion still felt a bit off but I think I got my point across.

" _And he rolls his eyes at me_!" She grips her chest looking a bit shocked. But that smile...Her smile tells me the exact opposite and she was more proud of my... _theateractics_. " _You may just be human yet._ "

This I smile at.

We make our way in the  _mess hall_. The doors sliding open as we walk. Already there are humans inside.  _UNSC soldiers_  as I recall, are in abundance around the liquid dispensing machines. A particular one labeled  _coffee_ had the warriors standing around it and refilling their  _cups_  constantly. My guess is that the dark substance carries a certain nutrition that keeps them healthy, or a craving addiction that satisfies their needs. Other warriors are sitting at tables, eating food and conversing with others nearby. It wasn't as nearly as crowded as it is during the midday, so of my understanding  _breakfast_  isn't much of a requirement but more of a satisfaction to know food is in one's belly. Voices are definitely low and calm compared to the usual blunder of voices I am used to hearing. Looking closer, I see not all are  _soldiers_. Some are wearing white clothing - _nurses_  and others with a hint of grey - _doctors_. Two -no three of them are in black uniforms isolated from the rest of the humans.  _ONI._  

They were speaking in hushed tones until one of them spotted me. It wasn't long until the other two followed his sights. One had a curious look, the other two glared. They had weapons, small metal blasters resting on their waist. Not like the weapons the Covenant use. The female in their group... I can tell she wants to kill me...

Something bashes into my side, catching me off-guard. I look down, instantly feeling hot liquid soak through my clothing. " _Hey, watch where you're go- oh? ...shit._ " A human.  _UNSC_ clan symbol on his breast. He seems a bit frighten. " _I'll just get out your way_." He moves around me, careful to keep the tray as far away from me.

No, he's terrified.

"J'kar?" Muriel speaks. I feel her touch my arm. It grabs my attention. "You okay?" I look her in her eyes. She is concerned.

"I'm fine." I look back to the human before, wondering where he had went. I'm developing a curiosity of why he was scared -terrified. I wish to ask, but I do not know if I will be stepping over boundaries. 

"He's scared because of what you are." I look to Muriel. Can she read minds? "No, I can't read minds. You just have that look." She releases my arm as we walk once more.

"What look would that be?"

"You stare at the subject in mind with a blank look." She smiles. "When you want to ask something you have this habit of tilting your head to the side." She points to her head and rotates it by a fraction. "When you're invested in getting answers, you stare off into the abyss and make faces." She starts making faces, each one different from the one before. "And... when you're stuck in a bind, you tilt your head down and think for answers." She rotates her head to the other side and stares at the floor.

She's replicating the actions I do when I am in deep thought. That's no good. I shouldn't let my curiosity get the better of me. It will be my undoing if I continue these actions. I should be more like Thel. Emotionless, unpredictable, and in full control. He doesn't reveal his emotions to others. Besides anger of course.

"You're doing it again." Of course I am. "I'm not saying there's something wrong. It's kind of kind of cute." She smiles.

"It's a weakness." I frown. "It's not- "

"The Sangheili way?" She already knew. "That's... _That's bullshit --excuse my Fren-ch. Emotions_   _are a strength_." She picks up a metal tray and white cup, handing them to me. She gets her own tray and cup and makes her way to the table filled with food. I merely follow, trying to come with a way to counter the argument. "I know what's it's like to bottle up -hold in emotions. It... _escalates._ " She grabs food from the table, piling it on her tray, using each tool meant for that specific food. "It builds up on top of each other until, one moment you're discussing the joys of life and then attack them because they don't like what you like. When my parents died _,_ " she roughly tosses the  _bacon_  on my tray,  _"that's what I did._ I held it all in... I didn't tell anyone." 

"Precisely my argument. Your enemies could have used it against you." It never fails. 

"I made enemies out of my friends." The glare she delivers me, makes me regret my words. "I pushed those closest to me away because I felt that my parents didn't love me enough when they decided to leave be behind. Everyone became strangers to me." Her face softens. "I used to think the same way. That emotions were a weakness."

"They are." I stand firm in my belief.

"Then why do you smile?" She gives me a smile. It doesn't quite fit with the narrow eyes. I move my mandibles to answer, but I stop myself thinking... she continues. "Why do you get angry? Why do you feel sad? scared? Anxious when you know there's nothing to worry about?" That's... "If emotions are such a weakness then why do they exist? Why do we have need of them if they are to keep us from doing what we need to do?"

She keeps filling our trays as I try to answer the questions. It's harder than I thought. Following her to the liquid dispensers, I thought I had an answer until another thought came and disproved the one before. Why do I smile? I know happiness is the cause of it. Yet...there are times I smile without happiness. There are times I get angry without knowing why. Moments when my sadness... Why do we have emotions? Now, that I think more upon the subject... emotions have existed as long as we have existed. Wild animals and other sentient lifeforms display emotions, even the Forerunners themselves were described to have emotions. Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Shyness. Many other emotions, and we can tell the difference from one to another. Why do they even exist..?

"A wise male once told me, _A curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change._ " I hadn't notice I was standing at the table where I usually sit. Muriel was speaking, but she wasn't looking at me. Instead she opens the small packet and squeezes... _ran-ch_ on her leaves -the name of the putrid white stuff. I sit across from her, listening to her words, " _It's not what happens to you. It's how you interpret what happens to you_. _And when you need to control your emotions, always unleash it in the right time and place before you explode at the wrong time and place_."

I look down to my tray. I don't recognize half of the food on it. 

"If you want to change, you first need to accept you are different. Sure you get sad when someone hurts you, or that you lost your sword hand, and felt nervous when you found out you like someone who's not even the same species. But it's not always a bad thing." She gently smiles at me. "When that person hurts you, know that you're a better person for not doing the same thing. When you lost your sword hand, you learned to use the other and now your a master! -Look!" She points at my left hand with the _fork_. "You're using your left without knowing that you are. And at anytime you can switch back to your other hand. And..." She blushes, clearing her throat a bit. "That nervous feeling when you feel love -well, at least you know your in love!"

I find myself more willing to listen than speak.

"That overwhelming feeling when you learn something new..." She gives her best smile. Her blood eyes seeps into mine. Her pale skin a bit flushed as she smiles to show her little fangs. It is... _adorable_. "The curiosity to learn more... That's all emotions. Things that get you moving and...go forward with your life. It's what makes a person a person. A Sangheili from a human. A Sangheili from another Sangheili. It makes you your own individual. It's what makes you J'kar and me Muriel. _"_

These words. They are... It is something more to think about. Such wisdom of words shall never go unnoticed. I...feel...like I should. For so long my kind believed emotions were tools, weaknesses to be exploited against enemies. Tears for the weak. Bravery for the strong. When in truth feelings and emotions play a part in every part of our lives. Even the ones we deny. If anything, females are to be the emotional ones yet even they see them as weaknesses. Ancestors, what have we been doing?

" _Good morning!_ " _Washington_. He walks from behind me and sits next to Muriel. " _What are you doing this evening beautiful?_ " He was smiling at her. Flirting.

Muriel gives me a curious look. "Now I feel the need to be disgusted." Funny.

He looks from Muriel to I. " _What she say Godzilla?_ " Even better. He doesn't understand.

Instead of answering, I change the subject. " _What is that black liquid you humans drink_?" I point to the cup _Washington_ was holding, eyeing the dark liquid substance moving within.

He lifts a brow. " _Cou'f-ee_?" 

" _Yes_." Is that how it is pronounced?

" _It's...uh, we drink it_." This moment too deserves me _rolling my eyes_.

Muriel laughs, trying her hardest not to choke. Some of the white - _ran-ch_ leaks from the corner of her mouth, quickly making its way down to her chin. Washington hands her a white folded fabric - no, it's paper. She wipes the substance off her face with the paper and swallows her food. " _Thanks_." She hands the soiled paper back to Washington. He seems a bit stunned as he took it. Then disgusted. She smiles as his reaction and looks back to me. " _C-o-f-f-e-e_." She spells the word. " _Co'f-fee is a dark liquid drink containing caffeine_. _C-a-f-f-e-i-n-e_. _Kaf'een is a stimulant -a chemical -a si'ko'active substance -a drug -a tiny mineral that targets the brain to keep the mind awake and more active."_

"You say it is a drug?"

" _Yes_."

"And you humans drink it?"

" _Yes_."

I stare at the dark substance, watching _Washington_ drink his cup with a smile. "It's not poisonous?"

" _No_." She is quite amused.

"Dangerous?"

She shrugs. " _Maybe_."

"Maybe?"

" _It depends if your stomach can handle it, or if your allergic, or you take too much, or because your a different species altogether_." 

"I can drink it?"

" _Do you want to_?" I've seen that look before. The raised brow. The crooked smile on her face. The glow of her blood eyes telling of a joke not far behind. She wants me to try the drink. She wants to see how I would react.

"Will this be like the time with the..." What was that fire liquid called? The red substance that tasted of only of salt...What was it..? "...the...game we played when we spoke of only truth or face eating a yellow fruit and drinking the fire liquid?"

" _A Thousand Questions._ " 

" _What questions_?"

" _That's the name of the game we played_. A Thousand Questions."

" _You guys played_?" _Washington_. I forgot he was sitting there. How rude of me. Not that I really care...

No, I do care. He's just being annoying right now.

Muriel still has the same look. Somehow, it grew. " _Wanna play_?"

" _Sure_. _You in Zilla_?"

I sigh. Once more I have been challenged. " _Is their a counter poison for the fire liquid_?"

 _Washington_ laughs. " _Counter poison_?"

" _He means a'tee-don't. And yes, there is._ " Muriel leaves the table. " _I'll be right back._ "

 _Washington_ is watching her, licking his lips and leans a bit to the side. Watching her...Is he...No.

I quickly pick a peice of meat off my tray and hit his head. He sputters rubbing his face, the food had hit his eye. " _You shouldn't drool. It is un-becoming of you._ "

He huffs, smirking. " _Jealous much_?"

What was a human insult fitting for this? _Asshole_? I know it is not _bitch_ as I recall the word is the most offensive, so maybe... _dick_? What was that word he called me that one time? He was smiling as he said it, and bit playful as it sound. That's right... " _Dip-shit_." It feels right coming from my mouth.

He laughs. " _Two'shay_." What word is _two'shay_? " _It means you made a good point_."

I smirk at this. " _I out wit you? Nice to know_."

 _Washington_ looks down at my plate and reaches across the ta- I quickly move my plate away from his greedy little hand. "Mine."

 _"Hey- you took all the bacon!_ " He is accusing me. Laughable.

"You should have gotten up early then."

" _What_?"

Oh. I was speaking in my native tongue. " _You need to get up early_." He's pouting. I munch on one of the little strips of meat and. . . These are DELICIOUS! How do they do this? I taste the salt but there's something else there that makes it so...! So -mmm... I bless and thank whatever Gods that given life and existence to such perfection. 

" _You should've never given him bacon_." 

" _Relax_." Muriel places the same fire liquid and yellow fruits on the table. Next to them were three cups filled with...is that milk? " _It's turkey, not pig_." She takes her seat next to Washington and goes back to eating.

" _God help us all if it was_." He takes a quick drink from his _cou'fee_. " _Who goes first?_ "

"MMm." Muriel was still chewing, but places down her fork and holds out a fist sideways. Washington does the same... What are they doing..? They move their fists up and down at the same time. Then at the third movement, Washington kept his fist as Muriel opens hers. She swallows licking her lips, " _I won. You first._ " That was a game?

" _Ask away_."

Muriel smirks. Oh? " _What's my name_?" _Washington's_ smile disappears. Muriel is using the same trick she used against me.

I try to hold in my laughs, but I'm seeming to fail. As Washington remains silent, the harder it is not to laugh. I try to contain it by eating some on the delicious meat. It's not helping...

Washington sighs. " _Fine. I give._ " Muriel slides the red bottle to him. This will be good. He takes the top off and holds it up for us to see. His face scrunches. He must know it won't be pleasant. " _Bottoms up!_ " He flicks the bottle and drinks the fire liquid. He coughs halfway taking the bottle out of his mouth. The liquid spills on the table as he tries to breath. 

*HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAAAaaaa...AHa!Aha! Aaaa-HAHAHAHAAAaaa...*

It was his expression that got me breathless, endlessly laughing. His eyes were red -he's crying! There's drool and red liquid leaving him mouth. His face is completely red! There's snot now! Ancestors...is he hissing? He's panicking! It's too much -It's too much... I need to breath...Breath...

" _Milk! Milk! I need the milk!_ " He is drinking one of the cups Muriel brought. " _Ah!_ " He hisses more. He drinks more, fanning his face.

*HAHAHA-cough,cough,cough,cough,cough-HAhahaaa...cough...ha...aaah.*

I don't think I ever laughed so hard.

" _God what is that stuff?_ " He places the cup down and takes a closer look at the red bottle.

" _Be glad it's not horse rad'ish._ " He cringes and Muriel's smirk grows into a smile.

" _Alright_..." Washington breathes and hisses. " _Zilla...hit me_."

What? " _Are you being literal?_ "

He shakes his head. " _Ask your question_."

Hm? What should I ask him..? His age? No, I can already tell he's about Muriel's age. Maybe a little older... I have no true interest in Washington, as the male has a habit of saying things on his mind. His opinion in sex is more than what needs to be known. I fear to ask him a personal question. The more I search for a question to ask, the less interested I see Washington. We are friends, but there is nothing we have in common. There is nothing to keep us together or define our...friendship? Are we friends? We are not enemies...

Are we friends..?

Is that... a question I can ask?

I take a deep breath. I open my mouth to speak but, the words don't come out. Their eyes, Muriel and _Washington_ , they are waiting for me to speak. For the question to come out. I speak, but not the question I thought to ask. " _What is your favorite color?_ " I am a coward.

" _Pink._ " 

He admits liking such female color? " _Why?_ " 

" _Because I have six sisters. But really, it makes me feel sexy._ " He didn't have to answer. Now, he is going to- " _Sometimes I would stand in front of the mirror, strip to my underwear and moon at myself._ "

" _Oh my God._ " Muriel laughs rubbing her face. " _And the underwear is pink...Oh my God._ "

Washington in pink. I'm not surprised. No, I am more surprised at Muriel stating _God_. She states as though her _God_ was conflicting upon this matter, as if  _Washington_ wearing pink was a blasphemous along with his actions. Or am I misinterpreting this? She is smiling at that factor, so the context of _God_ has a opposite meaning here than in the usual context - _sarcasm,_ a tool I have come to learn quite quickly, as humans call it. To say one word thing but mean the opposing definition. Instead of being appalled by  _Washington's_ truth, she is... _amused_. Fascinated by this bold proclamation. But what is _mooning_? What does the moon have to do with his want of pink under clothing? Is he saying he likes to roam around in the middle of the night when the moon is out, or is there...something else to what he means..?

No, I know well enough of the human vocabulary to know _mooning_ has nothing to do with the moon. Humans can be so confusing.

" _Okay, your turn._ " _Washington_ leans close to Muriel with a smile. " _Will you go out on a date with me?_ "

" _No._ " That was fast.

 _Washington_ seems to frown. " _So you have a boyfriend?_ "

" _Is that your next question?_ " Muriel, smiling... using the same tactics again. She must have played this game many times to be this prepared.

 _Washington_ leans back in his seat. His frown is more apparent. " _Your question Zilla?_ " His eyes haven't left her.

My question is quite simple. It's something I have been wondering since she came back. " _Where did you go?_ "

Muriel stops her eating, swallowing the food left in her mouth. She looks at _Washington_ and back to me, doubtful and unsure of herself. " _I can't tell you._ " She wasn't smiling. She wasn't frowning. Her eyes are kept even as well as her brows. Is this what a serious expression looks on a human? Expressionless, with no emotions. Eyes still. " _I've been given orders from my boss that stating locations on other human planets are classified._ "

Yes, the war. I had almost forgotten. "That is fair." I nod in acceptance. I can not blame her for protecting her own species. I feel a bit tense. My guess, they are too. " _It is my turn for questions._ " Best to move beyond the question and continue the game. This feeling is unnerving.

Washington nods with a hum and turns to me, " _How old are you?_ "

That is simple. Why, I wonder, would he wish to know of my age. Muriel seems to know as she doesn't seem quite interested in my answer. " _I am..._ " Wait, how do I tell him my age? _Washington_ does not speak my language and human years from my understanding are not the same as those of Sangheilios. Muriel said I had two years left until I became of age. She knows how to convert Sangheili years to human. " _Muriel_ ," she looks up to me, " _You once said I had two years left. Do you know how old I would be in human years?_ "

She smiles. I know that look. What are you planning? " _This is your question, not mine._ " She continues with that smug look, and I get the feeling this isn't good. " _If you can't answer, then answer to the best of your abilities_."

Would it be rude in human culture if I were to hit her?

" _Rules are rules._ " She goes back to eating, laughing as she chews. I can even tell _Washington_ is smirking behind that cup of his.

Once more, I fell for her trap. I guess the best translation would be a direct one. " _I am fourteen Orbits_." That should do it.

" _Orbits? You mean years?_ " _Washington's_ brows raised. " _Your just a kid?_ "

My pride...why even fight it? It is non-existent at this point. " _Yes, I am a child._ " I can feel my mandibles clicking, irritated. 

He looks me up and down. " _All this time I thought you were just short._ " I prefer that over being too young. 

" _He's older than you._ " Muriel spoke. She is correcting him. " _In human years, that would be twenty eight._ "

" _So -wait. Wait.Wait.Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on! You're saying,_ " he points to me looking at Muriel, " _Twenty eight is still a kid?_ " Now I want to hit him.

" _Natural adult age is thirty._ " She looks up to the roof, her brows a bit raised. She waves her fork in the air in little patterns, " _You're -what? Twenty three? That would be ...eleven Orbits, two Revolutions, and this is a guess, three Cycles._ "

Far younger than I thought. He is a youngling compared to me. Interesting. So even the eldest of humans can be younger than than I. I wonder what is the adult age for humans? Ten Orbits? Six? No, that is too young. Far too young. Muriel said I was twenty eight, fourteen orbits. That is double the age. She also said thirty, fifteen orbits...I think. Muriel, given her height, must be around...twelve Orbits. Double the number, twenty four human years. No. It seems a bit old. She has to be younger...

...puzzling. I'm sure she said something earlier that gave me a bit of a hint. 

"... _a human?_ " What? Oh, Muriel was asking. 

"I am sorry. What was your question?"

" _Would you eat a human?_ "

By the-! Why would she-? In public? And she is smiling about it. Why is she smiling? " _Of course not._ It is barbaric."

" _I'm not asking if it is barbaric. I asking if you would eat a human. Like, if you were starving and had to eat?_ " 

Well, if it came to it then... " _Yes. I would. However, only if I had no other choice._ " I feel a bit uncomfortable once I said those words. I feel as something came and stolen something from me. A piece of me. Something I want to take back. It feels like regret, but...it is hesitant. Creeping.

I'm starting to not like this game. It would be ideal to keep my mind off of it. I start to eat some of the mysterious meat. It's a bit spicy and juices come spilling out the moment I bit into it. What is this meat? It feels...chewy. Wait. Wasn't it just spicy a moment ago? Now, it's sweet. What kind of meat is spicy and turns sweet? Odd. I like it.

" _Alright, ask away._ "

I wonder what other meat hold such surprises...This one looks like a male's genital.

I'm not that curious.

" _You ever get curious and shoved something up your rear?_ " Muriel, she is being quite ruthless. She must dislike _Washington_.

" _I get curious but I never try._ "

" _You should. I heard it's l'thar'jik._ " No, she hates him. Why is she being mean? I guess that is a question for when I ask.

I have no real questions for _Washington_. He could help me if I ask. " _What are these meats?_ "

He leans over the table and gestures with his finger, careful not to spill the cup. " _All the bacon's gone._ " I see he is jealous. He really wanted some meat. " _That's sausage_." He points to the chewy spicy turning sweet meat. " _That one is hot dog._ " He points to the male shaped genital. " _Hot Links._ " The red large shaped genital. " _Chicken strips._ " The puffy brown ones. " _Chicken bar'bee'kew_." The ones drowning in sauce. " _And...scrambled eggs._ "

Eggs?

Oh no. These are someone's young. Unborn children. 

" _Fuck._ "

Why would they do this? To them?

" _I'm so sorry J'kar!_ " Muriel? She is taking the tray...she knew? " _I forgot. I'm so sorry!_ "

"Whose young are they?" She stops. Stares. I stare back. She knows I want my answer. She fidgets with the tray. She wants to leave, the look of guilt covers of her face. The biting of her lip. The way her eyes try to look else where. She doesn't want to answer. So I ask again. "Whose young are they?"

"The birds."

Birds?

"Farm animals. Humans harvest their eggs to eat them." 

* * *

_"It would be a waste of good meat." The Brute laughs._

* * *

Teacher...

It would be a waste. Eggs that would not be eaten would only be thrown out. Garbage. No, it would be best if I ate them. Give them the honor they deserve for their lives to be taken. Even in nature, predators would eat the young before they had time to grow. Preferring a easy meal over a hard hunt. I slowly take the tray from Muriel and place it back on the table.

I try my hardest not to imagine them as adults.

"I'm sorry." Muriel's voice is low, careful and wavering.

"Don't be. You're not the one to take their life." It is the humans that did this to be blamed. I know I have eaten my own kind before - _cannibalism_. But never the young ones. Only the adults. I am not sure why. I question my own morality at times.

Not now.

I eat the...eggs. " _It's a bit salty._ " 

Muriel sits down in her seat. She plays with her food. Guilt still takes her.

 _Washington_ drinks from his cup and leans back in his chair. He's about to speak. " _You should try the hot dogs. They're the saltest._ "

Muriel coughs. A smile grows on her face.

My guess, is he did another sex joke. " _What does salt have to do with food?_ " I might have said that wrong.

Muriel bows her head, her shoulders are shaking.  

" _Well -wait. You're a kid. I shouldn't be telling you these things._ " 

I can hear her stifling her laughs. And I want to hurt both of them.

I growl. I hate it when they address my age. " _I believe it is your turn Muriel._ " 

She looks up and takes a deep breath. Her face is completely red. The joke must have been good. I just didn't understand it. " _Okay, I'm ready._ " 

I wait for _Washington_ to ask first. " _On a scale of one through ten, how close do you think we can date?_ " He is at it again. Does he not know when _no_ _means no_.

I like that phrase...

" _Negative three._ " What measurement is that? It sounds horrible. Might be worse than it sounds. " _Next question._ "

I might regret asking this question. " _Why are you cruel when we play this question game?_ " Let me not regret this.

" _Because I like to see others squirm and provides me a challenge._ " She is smiling in that cruel way. Her eyes are bold, deep in that blood color. I seen that look before. Many times. I seen it on my brothers. I seen it on the young ones. It wasn't until her teeth had shown that I identified that look. It is the look of the hunter, the predator laying in wait. She is hunting something, but what? How does questioning us gives her thrill of the hunt?

" _Say'dest._ " I do not know that word, but I agree with him.

" _Your turn J'kar._ " I nod. I am ready. Go ahead, I dare you... " _If you were to have sex with a male what would he look like?_ "

" _Not Washington._ "

She laughs.

" _Hey!_ " We laugh a bit more. " _Fine, be that way. It's my turn to ask._ " He places his cup down and looks into my eyes. He wants revenge. " _Who's Thel 'Vadamee to you?_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate doing Covenant math. If you're interested in knowing how I got to this and want to try it yourself, here you go:
> 
> *The Sangheili uses the Covenant artificial Battle Calendar in accordance to theirs. They use the term "units" in counting just about everything. So...  
> 1 Covenant "unit" = 1 human hour  
> 1 Covenant daily "cycle" = 360 "units" => 15 human days  
> 1 Covenant "revolution" = 12 "cycles" + 63 "units" = 4383 "units" => 182.625 human days; roughly half a year  
> 1 Covenant "Orbit" (year) = 4 "revolutions" = 17532 "units" => 730.5 human days; about 2 years  
> *Basically everything is just doubled in comparison to our years and certain timing...  
> *New "Revolutions" starts on January 17 and July 19.  
> *But here's what I came up with...  
> (According to my story...)Thel is the oldest of the three siblings, as Ripa is the middle child and J'kar being youngest (until 'mom' decides to have another kid). Thel is currently (Halo 5 Guardians) 73 years old, and youngest to be known within the Covenant was about 30 yrs of age. (Jesus...) But he obtained the rank of Zealot in a "short span" of time. That "short span" being less than a Covenant year; so a couple of months. Also, seeing as Thel "shortly" received the title of Arbiter (insert hurtful joke here) which too was a couple of months. I decided to make it easier for myself and readers to make the adult age for Sangheili...(drum rolling) The awkward age of...
> 
> ...30 years old. That simple.  
> So J'kar is 28 years old.  
> Ripa 'Vadamee is 42 years old.  
> Thel' (in the story now) is 65 years old.  
> And they are all considerably "young". For me to compare ages to that of a human's, it's like dividing their original age in half. So like...  
> J'kar 28yrs =14 years old (teen)  
> Ripa 42yrs =21 years old (adult)  
> Thel 65yrs =about 33 years old (experienced adult)  
> "Mom" 90-100yrs =about in her midlife crisis stage
> 
> Moving onto the next chapter!


	10. I am a...realist?

_"Ripa!" A tiny J'kar walks down the halls of 'Vadam Keep, calling out for his older brother. "Ripa!"_

_"Why are you shouting?" Thel asks as he leaves his personal quarters._

_J'kar turns around, frowning. "I can't find Ripa."_

_"Have you checked his room?"_

_"It's the first place I look." J'kar pouts. "He is so lazy!"_

_"Well, name calling and shouting will not help you find him." Thel laughs as he nuzzles his sibling. "I'll help you look for him." J'kar gladly follows him._

_It didn't take them long to find Ripa 'Vadamee. He was sleeping on third floor balcony with his... male companion. Needless to say what they had done as both males were in the nude and wrapped under a single blanket. Thel shakes his head as J'kar snarls behind him._

_"Ripa." Thel shakes his shoulder. "Ripa."_

_Ripa grumbles slapping the hand away. His male companion dead to the world._

_"Hm." Thel smiles. "Help me with his legs." J'kar nods, knowing well what his eldest sibling had in mind. Both siblings lift the second eldest out of the room and down to the courtyard._

_Their mother stops walking with the other females and watch her children. "What are you two doing?"_

_"Playing a harmless prank mother!" Thel answers._

_"We did it before!" J'kar confirms, almost losing his grips on Ripa's legs._

_The other females laugh as their mother sigh. "Be safe."_

_"We will!" They answered._

_Just at the borders of the Keep. Both Thel and J'kar place Ripa in the walkway, just below the Sangheili monument framing the doorway. Once they set him down and ensured he wasn't waking any time soon, Thel rolls his body onto his stomach and J'kar evens out his arms and legs. Satisfied, they walk away with smiles on their faces._

 

_"RIPA!" He yelps, feeling a thick boot connecting to his side. "Wake up you troublesome child!" Ripa stands, holding his side as he looks up to... A group of Elders and a few Shipmasters. "Cover your shame!" The Elder throws him his cape, snarling. He didn't need to look down to know his genital was still sticking out. "We will discuss your misbehavior another time. Go make your yourself decent and fetch the Kaidon!"_

_Ripa merely rubs his side, not bothering to cover his lower extremities. "As you wish Elder." He turns, cursing under his breath as he knew the two culprits who did this to him._

_On the fifth floor of the Keep's balcony, both Thel and J'kar laugh as they watched the entire ordeal through the Carbine's scope._

* * *

" _No way!_ " Washington laughs, dragging his hands down his face. " _Thel 'Vadamee is your older brother? Eldest?_ "

" _Yes._ " Why am I still answering his questions?

" _And you two played pranks on -what's his name, Ripa?_ "

" _Yes._ " 

" _That is so unbelievable._ " He rubs his face. " _That's like saying Hit'ler has brothers and I'm sitting across form one._ "

Hit'ler? Who is that?

" _It's my turn to ask questions._ "

" _Go ahead- just...aaa... I can't. I just can't..._ " He lowers his hands and swiftly turns to Muriel. " _You knew about this?_ " He's starting to shout.

Muriel deliberately ignores him. " _How did your brothers react when they first learned your name?_ "

My brows furrow. How long ago was it? I know it was just after Thel received his new rank of Zealot and Ripa had yet to graduate from the academy. Mother had made it important for me to meet them both at the same time...

* * *

_"J'kar?"_

_"Yes." His mother answers._

_"His name is...J'kar?"_

_"Is there a disagreement with his name Thel?" She challenges._

_"It is female." He argues._

_"He looks like one." Thel looks to the side and glares at Ripa. Ripa looks back shrugging, "He does."_

_"He's male."_

_"What is your grievance?"_

_"A male shouldn't have a female name. If I were to tell our brothers J'kar is my blood brother, I would be mocked!"_

_"As much as you are now?" Ripa crosses his arms._

_Thel huffs. "Your sexuality is a common misconception-_

_"And his name is not?" Ripa scoffs. "Admit it. You're embarrassed."_

_"You are not?"_

_"No." He thinks for a while, looking back at the little Sangheili hiding behind their mother. "It...fits." He bends down low and grabs J'kar's hands. "He's a little female!" He purrs._

_"Stop."_

_"My little female!"_

_"Stop." Thel groans._

_"Thel," the Zealot looks to his mother, "at least accept him. I know the name may not be acceptable, but at least see him for who he is."_

_"Him being a Savage Blood does not deter me mother." He sneers. "Just the name."_

_She smiles, relieved. "Thank you. Both of you."_

* * *

_Washington_ is laughing.

I don't think it was that funny.

" _That's so cute!_ " Muriel is cooing at me -or I think it is cooing from the way she looks at me. This wasn't the reaction I was expecting. Yet, better than rejection or disgust. " _Your turn Wash._ " 

 _Washington_ sets his cup down, " _I'm ready. Lay it on me._ " He gives an odd hand gesture as he spoke those words, bending his fingers in a half closed fist as his thumb remains still. I believe the gesture co-relates to his words, though I do not what he means of _lay it on me_. The _it_ part is definitely the questions, but to _lay_ it _on him_. Such odd wording... How does one _lay_ questions on a person? Wait. I think I understand it now. _Lay_ must have a different context from its original meaning. To such, he means he is ready _to receive_ instead of _to place_.

I just answered my question.

I am proud of my own intelligence.

" _I going to kick it up a nau'ch._ " What's a _nau'ch_? " _Between the two choices, would you rather suck a dick or eat the pou'see?_ " What sort of a question is that? How does one _suck a dick_? Is the male genital cut off then forced down one's throat? No, I must be misinterpreting the meaning. What is  _pou'see_? Is that an animal? A disgusting creature which no one wishes to devour? 

" _Eat the pou'see_." He doesn't hesitate. Seems to choose the creature over the male genital. I would do the same if I was given the choice.

Now would be the best time to ask. " _What is this pou'see you speak of?_ " The word feels a bit... wrong. It has me spitting.

I must have not pronounce it correctly as Muriel is laughing.

 _Washington_ is... not expressing emotion, but... a  _weird_ stare. I think this is what the humans call a _blank stare_ from the complex _Facial Emotion Chart_ I read. I still find that fact a bit odd, yet true. An emotion which doesn't display emotion, however still an emotion. I have seen mother gave such expression a few times. Most resulting from questions she does not wish to answer.

Ah.

Now, I'm going to regret asking.

Muriel is still laughing.

 _Washington_ looks away. He is clearing his throat. " _I'll pass on this one_." He quickly grabs for the yellow fruit and eats it, leaving the outer flesh alone. Hi face scrunches as he chews. Is the fruit spicy as well?

Muriel laughs louder.

Washington coughs, but manages to swallow. He points to Muriel. " _Your turn._ " His mouth twists in several directions. " _God that's sour!_ " Sour is it? Well, at least I know what to expect. " _What's your favorite food?_ "

She hums, not in thought, but of memory. Her expression was... _dreamy_ , blood eyes stare off into the distance as her smile grows to show her teeth. Hands hold her face from below her jaw. Her head rotates to the side as her fur - _hair_ , shifts to the left. " _Spicy f'uh with cows blood and extra hala'pin'yos, bean sprouts, and drizzled in tabasko_." Her shoulder relax as she sighs. " _The best._ " 

I would very much like to try this _f'uh_. "Sounds delectable."

" _Your turn Zilla_."

A question for Muriel. Wouldn't hurt to ask her. " _It is the same question I had asked Washington. What is this pou'see you speak of?_ "

" _Oh! How the tables have turned!_ " He seems a bit eager. And what does he means by _turning tables_?

" _Pou'see. P-U-S-S-Y. It's a cat. A small four legged animal with tail and fur._ " She smiles.

The animal doesn't sound that bad.

" _I hate you._ " What? Why does he hate her?

She... I think it is what they call a _giggle_. Not quite a laugh, just a bit subtle. " _It's not my fault you don't read the dictionary_."

He is glaring at his cup in silence.

I think he literally hates her.

" _My turn to ask_." Muriel leans more on the table. Her blood eyes seem to shift more in color -brown this time. " _What's a_ Savage Blood?"

* * *

_"Ripa-Ripa don't!" A female shouts in panic._

_"Move out of my way!" A male demands._

_"Arbiter, you are not suppose to be -agh!" The sound of the guard's body falling can be heard through the door._

_"Move aside or I'll kill each and every one of you!"_

_"Ripa!"_

_The door slides open as the Arbiter Ripa 'Moramee enters the bedroom. His swords are at his side, humming with energy and ready to kill. His vibrant orange eyes search throughout the room, looking for the one he had came for. He stalks, placing one hoof before another, searching for his prey. His armor clanks with his heavy foot steps and fabric shifts with every movement with his arms._

_"Ripa." J'kar's mother enters the room behind him. "You will not hurt him." She steps around, blocking her sibling from entering the room any further._

_"I am no threat to my kin." He growls._

_"Then put your blades away." She demanded._

_The Arbiter was reluctant, but he'd done so without falter. "You are his mother. Call to him!"_

_"Not until you have calm."_

_Ripa grips her by the neck and slams her against the wall. "Do not play me these games! Call to him!"_

_Little hoof steps rushes across the room. The Arbiter turns in time to run after the tiny Sangheili, catching with the hatch-ling with his jaws before reaching the door. He grips tightly by the little one's scruff. With someone so young, instinct had taken over the tiny Sangheili, curling up his little appendages and not daring to move. The Arbiter turns to leave, his blood sister weeping in the background._

_It wasn't until 'Moramee had reached the landing platform when he met resistance. Before him, standing between him and the Phantom, was Zealot Thel 'Vadamee and Minor Ripa 'Vadamee. Both were armed, Thel with his plasma sword and Ripa with his Plasma Pistol. The Arbiter huffs, activating his dual plasma swords._

_Thel was the one to step forward. "We do not wish to fight brother! Release him and all will be forgiven!"_

_The Arbiter laughs, careful of his mandibles to not pierce the hatch-lings flesh. "It's not like you to forget your own blood."_

_Ripa snarls, "There is no blood shared among traitors!"_

_Thel takes another step forward. "Arbiter, please. If you continue this path, we will stand against you."_

_The Arbiter takes his stance. "Then stand."_

_Ripa aims his pistol and Thel takes his stance._

_"Let him go!" The Kaidon shouts._

_"Kaidon? Breeder?" Thel hesitates as elders walk from the Keep as well as a few armed guards._

_The Breeder explains, "As it is, the Arbiter has no child to claim his possessions. As by right and bloodline, he shall choose whomever he sees fit in taking his place."_

_Minor Ripa snarls, "This is merely political gain. All for a piece of land on Malurok."_

_"Have you forgotten our laws? Grand-sister Rmi 'Moram, your grandmother, is dead." The fact had silenced the raging Minor. The Breeder continues, "As of such, all possessions and inheritance will belong to her son, Ripa 'Moramee. However, given his current title as Arbiter with no heirs, he no longer has such entitlements and in immediate decision must choose a successor from his blood sister's side. By prerogative, he chose J'kar 'Vadam as successor."_

_Thel huffs at the name. "He is not of age."_

_"It does not matter." Minor Ripa corrects. He puts his pistol away. "If we challenge the Arbiter, we will be killing J'kar. Standing before him now will not be saving his life, but claiming his inheritance."_

_"Then why is mother against it?"_

_"Because I am of Savage Blood." The Arbiter deactivates his weapons, placing them back on his legs. "And so is he."_

* * *

I don't want to tell her. She may fear me once I do. 

They all do. " _I will pass on this question_."

Muriel's brow lifts. A _quizzical_ expression. " _Are you sure?_ "

" _Yes_."

" _Too personal?_ " _Washington_  asks. He holds up the bottle holding the fire liquid.

" _Yes. It is._ " I am not fool enough to try the red... _ho-t sau-ce_ again. Instead, I grab the yellow fruit.

How do I eat this?

" _Here. I'll help you._ " Muriel takes the fruit from my hand and...digs her thumb in the meat of the yellow fru-- I see she is peeling the outer shell. I can smell it. The fruit. It's a strong harsh fragrance, nothing repulsive -the complete opposite, but... my instincts tell me to be wary. " _There you go_..." She holds out the meaty part of the fruit to me and drops the outer shell on the plate. I assume one does not eat the the outside part. "... _one juicy lemon. On the house._ " I don't understand what she meant by _on the house_ , but I suspect she is mocking me. However, she isn't smiling.

The corner of her mouth just twitches. Is she trying to hide her amusement? Why?

Looking down at the yellow fruit... a _ju'cee le-mon_ I believe the name was, I think... No. I know I am in for a surprise. I open my mandibles, slipping the tiny piece in my mouth. I don't bite, not yet. I watch the expressions both of them are displaying, it is discouraging. Muriel is trying her hardest not to laugh, covering her mouth with her hands. Washington's single brow has not moved from its heightened stance, the cup covers his lower face. I know he is not drinking, just staring. 

Well. It shouldn't be as bad as the red liquid.

Chewing the fruit... It is sweet and--

 

**!**

What is that?

What was that?

What is this?

It's-- sour! My whole body just shook, as if something touched me! As if someone was biting me on the back of neck, paralyzing me! I could have sworn I felt electricity in my entire body! My brain still tingles. I don't think it was possible, but I bit my upper mandible. Yes, I can taste my blood. I want to open my eyes and look around, but I... just can't. It's so sour! Why is the fruit like that? How is it like that? Was it ripe? How could _Washington_ eat it effortlessly as I can barely get it down my throat? It's too much!

*Bang,Bang*

" _Easy there big guy. No need to take it out on the table._ " _Washington_. He doesn't laugh but I can hear it at the edge of his voice, just waiting to be released. _"You know, the longer it's in your mouth, the more you make it worse for yourself._ " Someone is rubbing my shoulder. " _Don't think about the taste. Just swallow it._ "

I did.

Once I did, the sensation went away. That electrifying feeling dissipates, my mouth feeling dry as I drool. Now, I have this bitter feeling on my tongue with a sweet aftertaste. Tears wanting to leave my eyes. I found myself licking my mouth, brushing my tongue at the sides to be rid of that taste. With each brush, my mouth clicks. I am aware of the sounds I make with my mouth, feeling much like the child I am. Yet the feeling won't go away.

Now, it feels tart. As if acid scent from a plasma weapon leaked into my mouth, coating my tongue.

I rather drink the fire liquid.

So occupied was I to feeling my mouth cleansed of the tart, I did not notice when Washington gotten close until he leaned into view. His body leans across the table as the cup was put aside. He stares, his eyes searching -but for what? He licks his lips, eyes narrow. I now it is his turn to ask. For reasons, he seems hesitant, still as if frozen. His gaze makes my insides quiver.

" _Do you actually believe in what the Covenant is telling you? About the..._ " He rotates in hand in a circle. " _...the-the...uh..._ " He his fingers snap in a sharp click. " _The Great Journey. Do you believe in the Great Journey?_ "

* * *

_Thel is getting married._

_It is, of course, an arranged marriage. Yet, Thel had stuck with tradition and proposed to the female. He gave her gifts and bathed her in wealth that made any sister jealous and many of the warriors moon for her._

_J'kar had no interest in this. He already knew his place in the universe. He was a Savage Blood. The Elders, especially his father Nul 'Vadamee, had ordered him to stay out of sight until the arrangement was complete. The guards at his bedroom door made sure he wouln't sneak off. So, instead he watches from afar through the windows. The two Kaidons were meeting as the Elders and wives converse on politics._

_While he was alone._

_J'kar hears the door to the room close with a click. He doesn't need to look to know someone was in the room with him._ _"Go away." He snarls._

_"How else am I to meet my new sibling?" A female?_

_J'kar turns around to look at the female. It was Su'lavu 'Mdama, Thel's wife-to-be. She was beautiful, adorning brightly colored green and blue traditional garbs, the edges decorated in gold with the landscape of 'Mdama fields painted at the bottom of her dress. A simple golden headdress chimes with her movements, as hands and hooves were decorated the same way. She was elegant, sleek and fitting, with youth still in her cheeks. As breath taking as she was, J'kar felt nothing but jealously._

_"I am to be your new sister, through Thel." She takes a careful step forward. "I've heard much of you from your blood brothers. When they first spoke of you, I thought you were female." There was silence as they stare into one another's eyes, fine amber meeting burning red. "Will you not speak to me?"_

_J'kar doesn't answer._

_Su'lavu fidgets. "I come..." She takes a calming breath, "I come to speak with you about future...family arrangements." She slowly walks forward. "As you will come to know, I have no siblings. I am the only child of my mother. Yet, it is tradition for children to know their parents' siblings in order to ensure their safety and future. With no siblings, I cannot provide that. Through Thel, I hoped to be possible--"_

_"You want me to be uncle?" J'kar's eyes widen, brows furrow in suspicion. "Why?"_

_The female blushes. "Ranger Ripa 'Vadamee can be quite...eccentric."_

_"It's his preferences in males." J'kar stated as a fact._

_"Among other things..." She drops her hands to her sides and square her shoulders, head raised high. "I must know. What are your thoughts upon the Covenant? Be honest." She was pleading, in a demand sort of way._

_"You know what I am." He rubs his arm, wishing to hide the obvious sheen of color the light reflected. "You know of my position, and because of these things_   _I_ _have no views or wants with the Covenant."_

_Su'lavu release a breath and goes to sit on the bed. "Thank the ancestors. I was afraid for a moment I would have none to sought out."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_The female huffs. "You seen them out there. How they talk, as if the all the universe and Forerunners serves those... floating sacks of Shisno! The gall. Our brothers gave their lives for their fights, their wars, and all we receive in return are petty words about honor and other religious trash they spout. Makes me sick to my stomach."_

_"You don't like the prophets?" J'kar goes to stand before the female, curious of her reasoning._

_The female gives J'kar a mean look. "My father died the day I hatched._ _My mother not long after from grief, and the best the former Kaidon would give me was an apology and the same lines about the great journey and the beyond." A sadness over takes her body. "My last direct relative, my uncle, was an Honor Guard destined to become of the High Council, raised me and taught me how to fight. He_ _died of poisoning three seasons ago. I held onto him until his blood ran cold. In my arms..." Her claws gripped the bed hard, tearing it. "The Prophets," she mocks their title with a sharp tone, "for all their worth said his death was evidence of his lack of faith. Otherwise, he wouldn't die such a disgraceful death."  She takes a calm breath and looks J'kar in the eyes. "It was by the former Kaidon's death that I had learned the truth. He killed my uncle for that position, and these Prophets thunk nothing of it."_

_J'kar sits next to her, that sense of jealousy gone and the air of familiarity comforts them._

_T_ _hey both had their cages, trapped and powerless._

_"I do not want my children, my sons and daughters, to think they only have the Covenant. I want to raise them, for them to understand there is more than just the politics of old males and bloodlines." She grips J'kar's hand, a pleading look with a gleam of hope fills her eyes. "Will you be there when I am not? Help me raise them to see more than... these things they say, for there is more to the universe than just honor. Will you be seen with me as my brother and I your sister?"_

_J'kar stares._

_He nods. "I will stand beside you...sister."_

* * *

I snarl at _Washington's_ question. He flinches, quickly leans back in his seat. I don't mean to scare him. The subject is a much sensitive topic above many. Yet, my answer is simple. " _The Prophets can shove their sermons up their ass and spout all the shit to someone else. The Journey is a lie. A sham to maintain control and gain power over fools and simpletons alike. Do not ever assume I am the same._ "

" _Right. Gotcha. Atheist._ " 

" _He's not an atheist, he's...more of a realist._ " Muriel is correcting him. " _And Wash wasn't assuming, he was curious on your thoughts about a religious factor he has a hard time understanding._ " Now she is correcting me.

I do feel a little guilty. " _I apologize for... speaking to you in anger._ " 

" _No prob. All is forgiven. No hard feelings_." He goes to drink from his cup, then turns to look into it. " _Pause the game, Imma get more coffee._ "

" _Don't take too long_." Muriel goes back to eating.

I stare at her, in turn she stares at me with a raised brow. We sat and stare at each other, partaking our own meals. She with her _ran-ch_ covered leaves, and I with my plate of questionable meats. I haven't noticed how loud the room had gotten until my earbuds attune to the sounding of our silence. The many conversations in the room fills the air, much like rain as it would pelt upon surfaces. It is noticeable, but not quite grabbing the attention. A mere sound in the back of the mind.

Yet with the sounds, I can still hear her chewing. The crunching of leaves. The licking of her _lips_. The way her tiny throat swallows the food. There is just something about her that holds more than just my interest, farther than any curiosity I had pursued. It can't be because of her species, for I would be curious in _Washington_ as well. It's not her gender, I'm quite sure for that through _Angela_. What is it that attracts my sight to her? Is it her hair? Long strands of thread blending into a conjoining dark shining cloak. No, it is not that, as pretty as it is. What of her hide? Her smooth skin, unblemished and... caressing. I want to touch her, rub myself against her smaller form and bath her in my scent. Yes, that is something I want but not what attracts me to her. Her eyes? Her blood blue eyes that reflects much of my own kind, and yet that part of her which is human through the brown. Yes, that is an attraction...

But not all of it.

I always want to speak with her. I want her to myself and I alone. A possessive trait I'm come to understand when with something I desire. Even if that aspect is mostly through the bond we share, _friendship_. Through that bond, I find myself wanting to know more. In a way, to be part of something significant in her life. I want her to look to me as I do to her, not one of worship but of equal standing. _Equality_. _Equity_. _Coequal_. _A peer_.

A _mate_.

My mate.

How my own mind eludes me.

"Something wrong?" She is curious herself.

"I have come to a conclusion, as I find you more than just attractive."

She stops eating, blinking.

"However, willing, I look forward to these _two years_ you spoke of."

She swallows with difficulty. She must not have finished chewing. "Are you...proposing?" She blushes.

I smile, for I need not to say much. "Will you be my mate?"

Curious how her face becomes such vibrant red.

" _Okay, I'm back!_ " Washington takes his seat, carrying two cups of the dark liquid.

" _I need to go pee!_ " Muriel runs. It doesn't take her long to leave the _mess hall_. I'm quite impressed with her speed.

" _When you got to go, you got to go._ "

I look at Washington. I give the impression I am not amused with him.

" _What?_ " He shrugs.

" _There are times I wish to strangle you and other times I want to hug you. I am curious to know how this come-came to be._ " 

He presses his _lips_ together. His brows furrow. " _Well...we are friends_." I have my answer then, but... " _You never had friends before?_ "

" _None like you, I admit._ "

" _Welp. Congrats!_ " He reaches over the table and pats my shoulder. An odd sense of touch, and nothing I like to get familiar. " _You just found out what it's like to have a **best** friend._ "

" _The need to kill and comfort towards another is such a status of close companionship?_ "

" _Huh? Well when you put it that way..._ " He seems a bit unsure himself. " _It sounds like I'm your annoying sibling._ "

 _Annoying_ , yes. It is the last thing I need. " _I don't need another male sibling._ "

" _Is that a bad thing?_ "

" _It is the same as asking for Angela to be my female sibling._ "

His eyes narrow. " _Why do you say it like that?_ "

" _Be clear with your questioning. I am not proficient in your language._ "

" _Sibling. Like -female and male sibling. You talk like you hate saying the words._ "

" _I do not hate the words._ " What words does he assume I hate?

" _Okay... maybe it's a mistranslation?_ "

" _Is that a word?_ "

" _What is?_ "

" _Mis'translation?_ "

" _Yes, it is._ "

" _What does it mean?_ "

" _That something wasn't translated correctly, or not taken in it's...actual meaning._ "

 _Mis-translation_. Interesting word. What does he mean by something not translated correctly? " _What may have been...mistranslated?_ " The _English_ language is a bit harder to understand than I formerly thought.

" _Your understanding in siblings, brother and sister._ " He takes a drink of the dark liquid. 

" _I know what brother and sister defines._ "

" _What does it mean then?_ "

" _I think you meant **they**._ " He frowns upon my correction. " _ **Brother** defines itself in relations to other sons and daughters. The same definition is that for **sister**. Both have religious meaning as well, as a member of a religious order._ "

" _Okay? And what about **sibling**?_ "

" _Offspring of the one or two similar parents._ " It shouldn't be hard to understand.

" _But you didn't correct me when I called Thel your older brother_."

" _He is_."

" _But not your male sibling._ "

" _He is also my male sibling._ " I am not seeing the misunderstanding.

 _Washington_ tilts his head to the side, blinking with a questionable expression. " _Okay wait! Hold on_." He sets his cup down and clasps his hands together. Such an odd action. " _What would you call a friend?_ "

" _Friend_."

" _What do you call a close friend?_ "

" _It depends on the gender. If they are female, then sister. If male, then brother._ "

He drops his hands on the table and laughs. " _I'm starting to see the confusion we have here._ "

" _It is more of you confusing I._ " It is the cusp of annoyance.

" _To be clear. **Brother** is the **male sibling**._ " What? " _ **Sister** is the **female sibling**_." This cannot be true. " _ **Sibling** is the general term of someone related to you by blood._" Yes, I know this. " _A **friend** is a close associate. A **best friend** is a close friend, a very close associate. We don't call our friends **brother** or **sister**. We just say they are our **friend** or our **best friend**._ "

" _W_ _hat is the religious purpose behind it?_ "

He remains silent for a while. " _I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with...the type of religion._ "

Type of religion? " _What do you mean? Are there different religious orders among your kind?_ "

" _Yes. Lots actually._ "

" _How many are...lots?_ "

" _I think... more than a hundred._ "

More than a hundred? " _I do not believe you. There cannot be that many of religious orders._ "

" _How many are there for your kind?_ "

" _Two_."

" _That sucks._ "

 _Sucks_? He does not inhale. He speaks with negativity, but he does not use the word in its true definition. This word is used as a _slang_ perhaps. Or _irony_? I should ask Muriel once she returns. " _How many traditional orders do your kind have?_ "

" _Some traditions blends with religion. So it's hard to say._ "

" _Are you to tell me there are hundreds of traditions?_ "

" _Yes_."

" _I don't believe you._ "

" _Ask Muriel if you don't believe me_." He remembers her name. Funny how that works.

" _I will do just that._ "

" _Hey, Ang. What's up?_ "  _Ang_? Oh, _Angela_. 

She looks exhausted, agitated. " _We're shipping out. Finish that and lets go._ "

" _Now?_ "

" _Yes, now._ " She grabs the second cup of coffee and takes it all in two gulps. Does it not burn?

" _Shit_." _Washington_ finishes his just as quickly and leaves the cup. " _Later Zilla. Tell Da Vinci we left._ "

" _See ya kid_." _Angela_ nods to me, placing the cup down. " _Stay safe._ " They both run.

I guess our game will continue another time. And what does Angela meant by _stay safe_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically speaking, there are four Sangheili religions but J'kar doesn't know the other two. Sangheili traditions varies from culture and clans, so it might just be well within the hundreds, if not thousands.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I went back and reread all my chapters... I wrote a lot! I changed tiny bits of details. Corrected some sentencing I missed, a deleted only three sentences.
> 
> I'm still playing Monster Hunter World. So... I will be back, just please be patient a bit longer.

How long does it take for a female human to _pee_?

" _Where's Wash_?" Apparently a long time.

"He left with _Angela_." 

" _Left ...where?_ "

"They did not say. _Angela_ said  _stay safe_. Do you know what she meant by those words?" I see Muriel slow in her movements. Looks to me with an unfamiliar expression. Her brows do not move and her mouth stays slightly open, her hands rest on the table with great weight, shoulders slouched.

Slowly, she gives me a sad smile. "They left to fight." She looks down to her plate and picks at her food with her fork. She is sad. 

The war.

I have gotten used to being around...my friends, I had become neglectful of my surroundings. The war between Covenant and humans, a never ending strife of survival. A foolish war to start, all the same, present. I have become content, in a position to feel secure. Safe. Relaxed in my surroundings, I have not -at least- tried to remember why am I here. Now with _Washington_ and _Angela_ gone, I have... It hurts and it fills me with discomfort, a sense of dread. 

I am such a fool. To believe...

... _Washington_ might die. He may never return, along with _Angela_ , and again I will be alone. I wish I was not as rude as I were. To at least put effort and faith in our friendship, to know him better than some annoying human who spoken his mind more than enough times. I don't want him to go. I don't want anyone else to leave.

"Well, you have an appointment later on today. Doctor Schmidt said he wants to test your reaction."

My reaction? "What am I reacting for?"

" _For brain_ scans. _He wants to see how Sangheili brain functions when certain stimulus is activated._ " She stacks the cups onto her plate. " _He also wants to see if there's anything wrong, or if your sick._ " Muriel takes my tray and stacks it underneath. Convenient how the dishes fit nicely upon one another.

"I am assuming he wishes to read my mind." I joke. It is an odd one, but still a joke. I wonder hoe she will take it?

She scoffs. " _That will be the day._ " She understood my joke, and reciprocates. Good to know. " _No, he wants to compare human brains to that of a Sangheili's. Nothing harmful, just a few tests here and there. No different than the usual stuff._ "

I'm starting to notice she's trying her best to avoid my gaze. How amusing... "You still haven't answered my question."

She's blushing again. "I need some time to think...upon your proposal." 

" _You do not wish to...discuss it with me?_ " I find it a bit fun for us to speak in opposing languages.

"A Sangheili's definition of of **mate** is different from a human's understanding." She finally looks me in the eyes. Her blush is still there. Her eyes a brighter blue. "To a human it means just to copulate, but to you it means for me to be someone who is more significant in regards of being the only one you desire."

" _Does your kind not have a word for something of...such understanding, or equivalent there of?_ "

" _Wow, your english is good._ " She smiles at me. For a moment I felt my mind...it was as some sort of jump, a tingle of...something new. "It depends upon one's gender. In this case you are asking me to be your... _girl-friend_."

Yes, I have cross that word before. I thought nothing much of its meaning as it states a  _regular female companion_. Understanding, I am asking for her to be my mate is similar for a human to ask another to be their _girl-friend_ , or in my position, _boy-friend_. The meaning I understand, but how does the words come to be? A friend is a close companion, as the definition of _girl_ is nothing but a female child. In saying, I am a _boy_.

" _My English may be good, but I still have...difficulties in understanding their truer meaning._ "

"Well, in a few _years_ you may have an advantage over me."

" _Then may I be the one to inform you of your proficiency in the Sangheili tongue._ "

"I am honored to hear such kind words."

Now there is this movement in my belly.

It feels nice in an odd way.

I follow Muriel as she travels around the mess hall. She places the dishes among the others, a small shelf with a tiny gap connecting to the next room. A human hand grabs for them, and we leave the room.

 

It takes us not long to reach the healing quarters. As  _Angela_ calls this place,  _MTF_. _Military Treatment Facility_ , or _clinic_. _Clinic_ is easier to pronounce, the proper name for this place would be _Hospital_. Much like calling the _cafeteria_ the _mess hall_ , I do not question it and use the more simpler name. We come to the front desk.

I smile at  _Jessica_. "Pleasant morning, _Jessica_."

"Pleasant morning, _Jakar_." She smiles back at me. We always have a nice conversations whenever she takes my blood and...embarrassingly enough, urine. Yet, can never pronounce my name correctly. " _Doctor Schmidt will be with you in a moment. Go ahead and take a seat in room_."

"Thank you." I nod to her. " _A new word for you._ " She leans forward, a smile on her face tell of her excitement. "Death. _Death_. _A direct translation with a greater meaning. When a Sangheili speaks of death, it is with honor and respect. For it is a natural occurrence as much there is life._ Life. _The word I had taught you yesterday._ "

" _How do you spell that?_ " She takes out a writing utensil and paper. I see the other words I have taught her down in a list.

" _In english, K-E-E-O-H-hyphen-E-E-S-A-Y. To pronounce would be similar to spelling as K-I-O-H, a slight pause, I-S-A-Y._ " I wait for her to finish writing. Continuing, " _The Sangheili and Covenant spelling be no different from Life. The middle symbol is upside down with the smaller triangle inverted. As depicting one's soul leaving the body._ " I watch her write the symbols. Her triangle is a bit sloppy.

" _And leaving knowledge behind_." Muriel adds in, smiling.

She is well versed. I had not known of that. 

I feel slightly jealous, though is is my fault for not taking my studies seriously. I need to learn from her.

" _Key-oh-ee-say_." _Jessica_ already butchers the word. 

" _You have to click your tongue when you pronounce the **K**_." Muriel, ever helpful. "Death." She pronounces perfectly.

There is that odd feeling again. A bit subtle this time.

" _Ki-oh-ee-say._ " Jessica tries again. Her expression is a bit funny.

"Death." Muriel corrects.

" _Kio-eesay?_ "

"Death."

"Death."

" _That's it_."

"Death. _That's a lot harder than I thought._ " She smiles brightly. " _I'll try practicing on my break._ "

" _Practice daily._ " Muriel is quite amused. Amused by what I wonder? " _Take it from me, because when it comes to sentencing and phrasing you have to do it all correctly or you'll be speaking in disrespect._ " That is true.

 _Jessica_ takes note. " _Practice daily -got it._ "

Muriel sticks out her hand. " _By the way, I'm Muriel_."

Jessica takes her hand and shakes. " _Jessica_."

 _"I will be seeing you tomorrow Jessica._ "

" _Same here J'kar._ "

I nod to her and we left. Not a few step away and Muriel questions me. "You're teaching Jessica Sangheili?"

I smirk at her. " _There is not many who can speak the tongue. Few whom are willing to learn._ "

"In other words, you wanted someone to speak Sangheili and engage conversation."

" _There is also translation to consider. As much I have learn english, I still sense as though there is a gap. Possibly an absence of deeper understanding._ "

"Do you have an example?"

" _Your words, the language itself, does not show the origins of which they are deprived from._ "

"That's because it's a combination of several languages put together."

What? "English is described as its own language."

"It is, until you learn the first of many languages it came from was _Latin_. Then _Celtic_ ,  _West Germanic_ , changed from _Anglo-Frisian_ dialects, and brought to _Britain_. It is to say...the language didn't exactly became _english_ , but the language was born from change and grown throughout the years. Then once established, became _English_ due to the country that adopted it. We name our languages not from the species we are, but from the countries and cultures that adopts them." We enter the room. I take my place at the usual table-chair. Muriel sits in one of the chairs, starting to spin. " _Spanish_ is the language the _Spaniards_ established. _French_ is the language the _French_ established. _Chinese_ is what the _Chinese_ people established. The pattern continues. Later on in time, there are smaller countries that adopts the bigger languages and changes them to their fitting. _Mexicans_ speaks _Spanish_. _Italians_ mixed both _Spanish_ and _French_ to create _Italian_. _Japan_ adopted and changed the _Chinese_ language, influenced by the many countries they did trade with, becoming _Japanese_." She stops spinning to look at me.

I make it apparent on my face that I had not understood the things she just said. 

She sighs. "How was the Covenant language formed?"

" _It is a mix between my kind and_ San'shyuum _._ "

"Which species changed its structure?"

" _The_ Jiralhanae _. They had a simpler language and have a hard time understanding our complex...dialect._ "

"The complex dialect came from where exactly?"

" _The language of the Forerunners._ "

Muriel lifts a brow, staring.

Languages changing and reforming. Each not far from their original structure, some completely replaced in favor for another. " _What of culture?_ "

"It changes as well, similar to that of language." 

" _Religion? Beliefs?_ "

"Everything changes." 

Everything changes? 

"How did the 'Vadam claim their keep?"

" _With the help of the_ San'shyuum _. Their lending of advanced technology allowed my ancestors take from the_ 'Moram _._ "

"How did the 'Moram claim the keep before the 'Vadam?"

" _They conquered the_ Varuna, _driving them off their lands_."

"Before that?"

" _The_  Varuna _bought the land from the_ 'Vadam."

"And before that?" She doesn't seem surprised by these turn of events.

" _The_ 'Vadam _had_..." Killed the Warriors of Old, finding the sense of need to stop the Savage Blood from becoming to powerful. "... _annihilated the_ Shee'nari."

"Did you notice out of everything you spoken, only one changed? The 'Vadam sold the land, meaning the reason for owning the land was different from the reason for obtaining it. What was the reason for the Varuna to take the land?" 

" _It creates power. A show of strength and influence over other clans._ "

"What was the reason for the 'Moram to take the land?"

" _The need of trade with the other clans in order to produce a greater flow of currency._ "

"And the 'Vadam?"

I remain silent. I knew the answer, I just did not want to say it.

"J'kar?"

"The 'Moram clan was a threat to Sangheili."

" _Really?_ " She's curious. I thought she would be more of disgust than interested.

"There was a certain...kind of warrior they have bred."

" _Would this have something to do with the..._ Savage Blood?"

I dare not speak. I turn my head away, not wanting to look at her.

"Are you ashamed of your own kind?"

She knew?

Looking at her, she seems sad. A slight anger. She knows--! She knows of my blood! Of my kind! "How do you know of this?"

"I asked my father. He told me you were a rare kind. The data never went into specifics, just to instruct other warriors to take precaution when angered or challenged. Some orders that were found instructed to kill on sight if you couldn't be controlled."

I can sense it, the tension. She is aware I am different. It wasn't fear. It wasn't anger.

" _Good Afternoon!_ " Doctor Schmidt enters the room, breaking off our tension into awkwardness. He stops to look between us, " _Did I interrupt?_ "

" _No_." I quickly say. 

" _It's personal._ " Muriel quickly adds in with a smile.

The doctor nods to her, accepting her words. " _Well, onto today's schedule._ " He turns to me, " _We have a helmet designed to fit you. We are going to test the device for now and see how it corresponds. Today, we will only do small practices- uh, testing out basic sensory functions like smell, hearing, taste, touch, sight -you know, the basics._ " He speaks slower. He speaks this way because the original word he planned to used would be lost to me, as I do not understand all their _scientific_ vocabulary. " _Once we have your brain...um, mapped out. We can then do more complex exercises. These tests will result better diagnoses for your species --specifically, sub-species._ " 

" _Sub-species_?" Muriel's face is a bit scrunched.

Doctor Schmidt nods. " _Sub-species. Through blood comparison, white blood cell count, natural coloration of his skin-- sorry, I meant hide, patterns of his scales, as well as the electroreceptors on his back --the, uh, spines are actually advanced bar'bells._ " Muriel's eyes widen at this, brows raised. I do not know why, but she is amazed. " _He's much like some fish and some amphibious creatures, but..._ " He holds a single finger, smiling, " _...he can decrease and increase the bar'bells sensitivity._   _We're currently trying to determine the how, and figured the the why. Theoretically, J'kar's ancestors lived in jungles with predators much larger and faster than they were. This theory supports the higher than average adrenaline for a_ Sangheili _, and why we first assumed the glands were overactive. That was until we measured his insulin, which again is higher than average._ "

" _Question, before you continue...uh, what species or genus are the Sangheili? Like how would you define them as an...animal?_ "

" _As stereotypical as it sounds, they are Saurian._ " Ah...Yes, I heard the word before. Not sure of its truer meaning. " _Their classification are reptile. Specifically macto cognatus. Saurischians._ " 

Muriel laughs, nearly falling off her chair. 

" _Sub-species are unknown._ " He coughs. He seems uncomfortable.

I have to ask. " _What does that mean exactly?_ "

"You're a _dinosaur_!" Muriel continues to laugh. 

A _dinosaur_..?

* * *

 _"_ Hey, Godzilla! Check this out! _"_

_J'kar looks over his shoulder watching Washington opening a book._

_"_ BAM! _" He tapes his finger at the picture. "_ That is a dinosaur."

_J'kar stares at the creature on the printed page, seeing the colorful feathers and neat patterns cover its body. Its maw all the way open, long and intimidating. Tiny row of razor teeth gleaming with drool and long tongue seeming to want to taste its prey. Frozen in running action, J'kar can see the oversize claw on its toes. A shadow of a human stands right next to the creature, making the creature appear... rather small? His eyes scan the words and see the dinosaur was called..._

_the_ **'** **Velociraptor Mongoliensis'** _._

 _"_ Well...? _" Washington asks._

 _"_ Are they...truly that small? _"_

 _"_ You know those raptors from Jurassic Park aren't real, right? _"_

 _"_ Hm...pity. _" He reads the words on the page for a few seconds. "_ The large claws make them faster? _"_

 _"_ Yeah. Hey, let me show you my favorite dino. _" Washington sits next to J'kar, flipping through the pages as they both read from the book._

* * *

" _I do not have feathers!_ " I huff.

Muriel just laughs louder.

Doctor Schmidt clears his throat. " _Back on topic. We'll go through the usual check-up and then we will move onto the new exercises._ " He walks over to the familiar cupboards and takes out the sames white case, holding the same white circular pads. It's routine by now. I take deep breathes, relaxing  my mind and body as the machine does its scanning of my internal organs. It was not long, for the pads are removed and the doctor has me open my mouth to check my throat. Just as the routine before, I make noises at the back of my throat for Schmidt to have a better sight.

He nods to me, a familiar signal he was done.

I close my mouth to watch him leave.

" _So what's a_ Savage Blood?"

Just when I thought the discussion ended. "If I said the word meant more harm than their initial meaning, would you stop asking me?"

Muriel seemed surprised. A bit sad in the eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be hurtful. I just wanted to know what it meant. I'm sorry." She looks away, turning her chair to face the far wall.

She apologized twice.

Now I feel as though I've done something wrong.

I can trust her. Can't I? I have so far and she hasn't been anything but kind. She doesn't seem to entirely know the deeper meaning behind the word, only a few implications. _Hints_ but not _Clues_. 

It is times like these I have to remember she is not Sangheili, but human. Her opinion will differ from that of my kind. Evidence of such is _Washington_. The male has a sense of humor I cannot fully come to understand. Though he fights my brothers, he has accepted me as I am ' _my own person_ '. Angela has also come to know me and traded a few words.

Ah.

I forgot to give Muriel her gift. Must remember that.

That is another thing to keep in mind.

She's like Ripa.

And like Ripa I can trust her with my life.

"I do not know the direct translation of the word." I must let go of my fear. Be rid of my pride. "It is to say, I am... _a monster. Uncultured. Ruthless. A veracious beast_. " 

She nods her head. " _It's a prey'ja'des term._ " 

"Prey'ja'des?"

" _P-R-E-J-U-D-I-C-E. Prejudice_. It's to judge without taking the time to understand something." 

Hearing this gives me relief. "Your kind has a word for everything?"

"Not everything."

"Name one thing your kind doesn't have a word for."

She folds her arms under the lumps on her chest. She smirks. "What's the taste of water?"

That is a difficult one. "Refreshing?"

"That's not a taste. It's not salty. Not sweet. Not sour."

"Nothing?"

"Then how do we know it's water when we taste it? When we smell it?"

Thinking about this...

 

I can think of nothing.

 

Then how do we know it's water?

"Another one is describing the difference between left and right."

Easy. "Left is...left. Right is..." No, this is hard. "Right is opposite of left and...one side is...mirrored?"

" _And my personal favorite_ , describe a color that doesn't exist."

A color that doesn't--

" _That's a face I never seen before._ " Doctor Schmidt.

" _He's trying to figure out how to describe a non-existant color._ "

" _Well to answer that question, one must know what color is and how it came to be._ " 

I rather not.

" _Here it is._ " That's peculiar technology. " _This headset is fabricated from both human and_ Sangheili _technology_. _This part_ ," he points to the outer ridges of the device, " _will be the parts to do the scanning, but here..._ " He turns the device over- oh, its a piece of the Elite armor. " _...will keep the device in place on your head. The lens here,_ " the _doctor_ taps his finger on the outer ridge. There's a transparent wall blocking off the inner dark side. " _It will scan your eye movements and project images and some scenery for you to look at._ " He turns the helmet up right. " _The thick box compartments on the sides will go over your ears._ _So you won't hear much except what we emulate from them. Any questions that come to mind?_ "

" _Will it hurt?_ "

" _No_." The doctor smiles at me. " _You are to tell me if it does. This device is not meant to cause harm, just take various measurements_."

" _I have no further questions_."

" _Good then_..." He lifts the device high over my head. "... _let me_... _if you would lower your head please?_ "

I lower my head for the doctor to fit the contraption on my head. It felt weird, not as heavy as I assumed. The lens fitted perfectly over my eyes, surrounding me in darkness. I can hear nothing, not even the loud machinery down the hall. Is this how it is for the blind? The non-hearing? This frightens me a bit, as my senses are stolen. I was never scared of the darkness, for I trained for such possibility. But the dead sight, the complete silence, unnerves me far from what I am used to. I can still feel the table-chair underneath me, a reminder I haven't moved.

I see a light. It is a bit dim, seeming far in the distance.

It moves.

I watch it fly around as it gets closer, growing brighter.

Now, it changes color.

There...there is a sound. Wings of a Yanme'e.

From the color changing light.

It's a tiny color changing Yanme'e. How odd.

There's two now. Four. Are they-yes, they are multiplying quickly.

They are so close. I want to reach out.

Wait.

How can I see my own hands and... not anything else?

The tiny Yanme'e are floating down and their light illuminates the earth beneath me. There's glowing flora everywhere. So many beautiful colors! The flora change colors, slowly from a lantern light to actual sunlit plants. The rays of sunlight dance beautifully among the many trees.

Where am I?

I can hear the sea now. 

I sniff for the direct location but... all can smell is Muriel and the doctor.

The scene fades from me and I am surrounded in darkness once more.

My head hurts.

I can feel the contraption being pulled form my head. I feel a bit dizzy. And everything seems too bright for me to see.

"You did quite well J'kar." I can hear the doctor talk. "I stopped the testing because of the motion sickness. It happens to those who are not used to virtual reality. So here is some medicine for the headache," I can barely see what the doctor had placed in my hand, "try to get some rest, and we'll try this again tomorrow when you feel up to it."

"Here let me help." Muriel stands before me and takes the thing from my hand. It was a small paper square. She places it on my head and leaves it there. "This takes away the pain. We humans call them **pain killers**."

" _Killers of pain?_ " It's a funny name for medicine.

Muriel smirks at me. "Or **pain reliever**. Your choice."

" _Reliever of pain is a less confusing and more sensible name."_ I feel something tingling my senses and the pain disappears. "My headache is gone."

Muriel removes the square from my head and throws it in a square bin. A _trashcan_.

 

 

{...} 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you guys heard about Nintendo confirming Wailuigi being uncircumcised? I'm not joking, it's real. Go google it if you don't believe me.


End file.
